Dearest Aunt Flo,

After careful consideration, my girl friends and I have come to the conclusion that a monthly visit from you is quite excessive.

I miss the days when you used to visit once every 2 or 3 months. But even then, it was too much. I've got to be honest Aunt Flo, it's a pain in the you-know-what having you around all day and all night for 2 - 6 days in a row. I hear you visit some girls for up to 2 weeks... C'mon! Really?

Listen, I get your commitment to procreation, to our femininity, and to hormonal balance... AND some of us don't want to have kids. Some of us don't want to be feminine and we could all do without the PMS of most women. So, I've come up with a compromise.

Don't call us, we'll call you.

We'll call you when we're ready to have children. We'll call you when we need an excuse to binge eat, have all the chocolate we want, or when we don't want to workout. Some of us will even call you when we want to get out of having sex.

So, no more uninvited visits Aunt Flo! We've had enough!

Thank you for understanding,

Your nieces