Dear Dr. Greg

My 40th birthday is fast approaching and I'm freaking out. I'm having anxiety attacks and feel like my life is over. How can a gay man like me feel good about himself in this youth-obsessed culture?

Quick... run and look in the mirror! That person you see is the same as the one you will see when you turn 40. The only difference is the number and your attitude. Forty is the time when most men take stock in their lives. They review their accomplishments and let go of childhood fantasies. For gay men, it is also a time many stop acting like a boy and become their own man.

The anxiety you feel because of the unknown. Do you think that because the culture is youth-obsessed that you will loose your place in it? Time to find a friend who is over 40 AND secure. Follow his example rather than the newbie on the dance floor. A 40-year-old acting like a 20-year-old is not that attractive. Remember when you thought that yourself?

Now for the big day itself. Schedule the hell out of it. Plan every meal, activity, and potty-break. This will keep the anxiety in check and give you a day to remember. And, when all else fails, just tell yourself, “40 really is the new 30.”