Okay, it's time to get over ourselves, fellow consumeristas. We all love to shop, but the days of spending $300 on a pair of shoes (or a purse, earrings, whatever; insert vice here) are over. Carrie Bradshaw (were she a real person) would certainly be selling her Manolos on e-Bay right about now, along with the rest of us.

I am the first to admit it. I would rather spend an afternoon shopping and lunching than doing almost anything else. if the day can somehow include a mani/pedi and a cocktail, I consider that to be near-orgasmic. But those days are few and far between now, for most of us. Making ends meet has become a challenge, and the little that is left over at the end of the day has to be well accounted for. That's why it's time to get "Ross Rich."

"Ross Rich" is a term my own mother (a champion discount shopper, in her own right) coined a few years back. Ross is a discount store that carries a lot of the same brands as department stores.

Basically, what being "Ross Rich" means is finding name-brand label or designer items for next to nothing, and pulling a look together for far less than it costs at full retail. People think my mom (and by association, myself) are big spenders when it comes to fashion and home decor. This is just because we know the tricks of the trade. We have an ability to pull it all toghether and force it to work.

We might go out to a nice dinner, dressed to the nines, and people just make their assumptions. Beautiful leather shoes, matching handbag, black Calvin Klein knit sweater dress. Hmmph. "They must have money." This is always amusing. We're not rich; we're "Ross Rich!"

How do you become "Ross Rich"? There are some tricks you should know.

1. Identify the discount retailers in your area, and find out what days they get their shimpents. Our favorites (we live in Southern California) are Ross, Marshalls, TJ Maxx/HomeGoods, Loehmann's, Stein-Mart, Tai Pan Trading Company, Tuesday Morning, and Big Lots. Shopping on the day of or day after a shipment drops is your guarantee to get the best stuff.
2. Kick your inner snob to the curb. This one is important. If you're used to shopping full retail at the major department stores, this is going to take some getting used to. Marshall's is NOT Nordstrom, so don't expect Cymbidium orchids in the ladies' room. The merchandising and customer service at discount stores are not award-winning, but the deals are well worth it. If you need to be doted on while shopping to feel good, try wearing your brand new $30 Loehmann's Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses out to a nice lunch in Laguna Beach. You'll feel better, and with the money you saved by not going to Bloomingdales', you can pay for your swanky lunch at Las Brisas.
3. Get ready to rumble. On the day that you decide to do your discount shopping, come prepared. Wear comfortable shoes. Bring Purell hand sanitizer. Have a roomy foldable shopping tote with you, because sometimes these places don't have carts, or the carts seem to be crawling with yet-un-discovered strains of Hepatitis. Be prepared for some elbowing, and some rudeness from other shoppers. I once had a wealthy-looking Asian lady stand about 2 feet to my left as I was flipping through a rack of semi-formals at my local Stein-Mart. Total space invasion! When I asked her if she needed something, she said "Oh, I'm just looking as you flip through the rack, because we're about the same size. I'll just look." Wha? Prepare yourself for some of this kind of behavior.
4. Be open-minded about damaged goods. I'm not telling you to buy crap. I am telling you that if you find a gorgeous, open backed Ralph Lauren evening gown with a $15 yellow clearance sticker on it because the zipper is jammed, you'd be a fool not to buy it. That leads me to number 5. . .
5. Find yourself a good alterations studio and shop outside your size range. I have a wonderful seamstress whose children I am sure I have put through college. One day she saw me coming with an armful of $250 True Religion jeans that were a size too big for me, but that had all been marked down to about $20-$30 per pair. Once she altered them, not only did they fit me perfectly, they were STILL a steal. $30 True Religions plus $25 custom alteration = $55 for a pair of $250 designer jeans. Not too shabby.
6. It's okay to be a season behind, if you're buying basics. Unless you are a true fashionista, or you work in high-end retail and/or fashion design/merchandising, no one is going to know if your Jimmy Choos are last year's model. Honestly. And that is why these discounters are stocked full of designer labels. The major department stores always want to stay of-the-moment, and that is fine. But even when times are lean, people still want to buy quality. If you are buying classic pieces like ballet flats, a little black dress, simple earrings, turtle necks, cardigans, etc. (think Audrey Hepburn) it's perfectly fine to buy great labels at the deep discounters. Stay away from ridiculous looking fad pieces that will be instantly recognized as appearing on last year's magazine covers or TV shows. You won't be doing yourself any favors.
7. Ask for additional discounts. I know sometimes this feels awkward, but you have to ask in order to get. This is something that you wouldn't do in Saks. A lot of times if you make a request at the customer service desk of a discount retailer, there is a manager/keyholder working and she or he will just punch in the discount for you on the spot. For instance, I once found a neat Le Creuset trivet that was missing a little rubber foot, making it seem off balance. I pointed this out to the manager on duty, and he marked it down an additional 20%. When I got home, I just took off all the rubber feet and replaced them with felt pads. $30 trivet for $3.
8. Use coupons, watch sale ads, and sign up for frequent shopper mailing lists. No brainer, right?
9. Keep it classic, and simple. This especially applies when buying clothes and accessories. The simpler and more streamlined an item, the classier it looks. Buy solid colors and steer away from prints (thank you, Jackie O, for that tip). Keep accessories minimal, but well chosen. Style your hair to fit the attire (no big texas feather bangs paired with a classy chocolate Tommy Bahama tankini, please). Even if the item was cheap, try not to come across that way when wearing it.
10. Wear it well. Show it well. Just don't tell. This is the most important of the tips. If you found a great Coach handbag at the outlet stores, flaunt it with flair at the next company picnic you attend. "Tie a scarf on it, and call it a day," as my mom always says. People will surely admire your good taste. Just resist the urge (I know, you're gonna want to share because you're so proud of yourself) to squeal "I know! It was marked WAAAAAY down out at the outlet! I got it for $35!! Can you believe it?" You might as well snap your gum and stick your Chardonnay glass into a neoprene beer cozy. Trashy. Just smile, accept the compliment, and say "thank you."

Good luck while you're on the hunt! There is nothing more satisfying than seeing someone sporting the same Juicy Couture diaper bag that you have, and knowing that you paid half-off. Besides, as my mom has always taught me, the only way to be the most attractive woman in the room is to be the smartest woman in the room. And smart women very rarely pay full retail.

Happy shopping!