Defend Yourself, 101

Quick qualification.

I was born fighting and having to defend myself. That fight lasted more than 40 years. Before I was eighteen I had been mugged so many times, that now I was mugging the muggers and yes even a few at a time. I was one of those kids that watched every kung fu movie and idolized Bruce Lee. Even though, I never formally received any real martial arts training until my late twenties. I did manage to survive the streets of the Bronx (NYC).

I studied Traditional Okinawan Karate “Ryu-Kyu-Kempo” under my Teacher Kyoshi , Gerrad Senese, Who studied under Taika Seiyu Oyata. Who became my instructor once I received my shodan “1^st degree black belt “(1994). I became one of the head instructors at the Ryu Shu Kan in Long Island for 8 years, until my family started to grow and I had to move on to a better paying job with all of the perks. I still train under Kyoshi Senese and Master Oyata.

My Inspiration for this hub.

Although, I love the martial arts and have always wanted to share my knowledge with you. One article or hub really gave me an inspirational nudge. It was written by, Mighty Mom the hub is http://hubpages.com/hub/Sex-After-Rape----Victims-Coping-Tactics. And it just hit me in a very sensitive place in my heart. Even though I did not read the hub, the title alone inspired me into writing my hub.

So, here it is! Defend Yourself 101.

Lesson #1

Defending yourself does not mean “Kicking somebody’s ass.” It means not letting you ass get kicked. And I have news for you. Life can give you more lumps than any human ever will. However, I will start off with defending yourself against people.

I have met the enemy, the enemy was me!

Let me show you through my experiences. I have just mentioned that I received my share of muggings. I have also been molested as a child, and a Teen. As I got older I was stabbed and shot in the face. Now the question is. Was this all just a case of bad luck? I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, all of the time? Well let’s take a look.

When I was molested and left naked on the roof of the projects. Do you think that wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t playing hooky from school? What were the chances of that happening if I was in school, in the classroom supervised by my teacher? Honestly, I don’t think my mother still doesn’t know about that one.

Now, one of the places I was mugged the most was on the subway. Let’s take a look. Out of 10 cars only two are manned, the front one (The conductor) and somewhere in the middle (The motorman). So where do you think I was? All the way in the back smoking a joint, away from the cops. If you were going to mug somebody where would you go? Oh yeah, did I forget to mention, If I weighed 150 lbs, that was soaking wet with a couple of bricks in my pocket.

Now let’s look at the time I was shot, it was at Luigies Bar on the 4^th of July, I was driving a stolen car with two friends dressed up in Outlaw (Biker style) with gang colors. I decide to get involved in a little traffic dispute, with a guy twice my size, his arms were the size if my waist. I get out of the car with my two friends. Turn around to confront this guy and BANG! Off to Montefiore Hospital in the back of a police car. So you tell me.

Now, Lets’ talk about rape.

Please, do not get me wrong. I am not saying that every person that was raped brought it upon themselves, not at all. It is not the victim’s fault that the world is full of sick people.

What I am saying is that the world is full of sick people. And that there is nothing much we can do about them. However what we can do something about is ourselves. Yes, learning some type of combative self-defense can help in many ways. What I mean buy this is that the study of any martial arts system will help an individual in many ways , Self esteem, fitness, speed, accuracy, focus and so many more benefits. Yet, to me it’s not about fighting, it’s about not fighting seeing the fight well before it happens. Not getting caught in the last car of the train with a joint in my ear.It’s staying put if it gets too late. If I have to ride the train, I ride in the middle car where the motor man is always around, with access to a radio to contact the authorities. And I keep a clean, clear and alert state of mind at all times. On top of that I would be thrilled to have a police officer close by. You see I was trouble, so I attracted the same.

It is not about living in fear; it’s about living with caution. Evaluate everything and everybody around you. Are you with somebody that you really know and trust or is it somebody you just met? Are you in a secure relationship? Or has the relationship you’re in, starting to get ugly? Screaming, threats and acts of violence are all signs that we shouldn’t be there, yet we stay. If you love somebody and don’t want to hurt them, doesn’t mean that you have to show them that you do love them by allowing them to hurt you. All of these are warning signs we should see way before something really bad should happen. Most importantly, drugs and alcohol will make matters intensify, it’s just putting fuel on the fire and it’s a mixture that both parties should stay away from. One drink might be Ok, but once your reaching the third drink, your judgment is more relaxed and you start to let your guard down. Now it is easy for the wolf to attack, guess who’s the sheep?

Like they say many rapes happen with people that the victim knows. In other words they know them trust them and let their guard down. Try not putting yourself in a situation where you need to put up your guard at all.

I’m a married man, if a lady I know needs a ride. I won’t give it to her unless my wife or one of my kids are in the car. I just won’t do it. That’s that! Call it paranoid or whatever you want, all I know I that I’m safe from any type of hassle or headaches. And you know what? I think the lady is nutz for getting into the car with me.

The bottom line is.

For most of us that live in the big city, we have to look both ways before crossing the street. Why? Because if we don’t we may end up hurt of even dead. The same thing applies with day to day life with other people. If you don’t wait for the light to turn green or you don’t look in every direction or if you cross the street drunk. The circumstances can be very unpleasant or even fatal. Slow down, look take an inventory of everything and everybody that can come into your personal space. Evaluate the situation than decide. And if it doesn’t feel good, those hairs stand up in the back of your neck. You run, call a friend, relative or the Police. Always trust that gut feeling. What’s the worst that can happen? You might live. That’s not a bad option.

Here’s an extra, anybody seeking any type of advice or help Please feel free to contact me personally. I will help the best I know how. Just contact me here through Hub pages and we will take it from there.

I have so much more I can say about this topic, but like I said 101, the basics..I will write more in the future…

Peace, Love, Life, Health, Happiness and Please be aware of all that is around you… JosephDiego