In honor of Valentines Day, let's talk about love! There is some interesting research on what makes for a successful romantic relationship. I may do more related hubs in the future, but for the time being, this is going to be focused on what is the nature of love, defining love, uncovering the different factors of love, and differentiated the different varieties of love.

Defining Love and Romantic Attraction

Researchers have found that love's complexity is actually amenable to scientific research. But love is multifaceted, with no single defining characteristic. There is also more than one variety of love.

The Defining Features of Love

Robert Sternberg proposed that love could be reduced to three essential components:

• Passion

Passion is physiological arousal and a longing to be united with the other. Passion includes features such as romantic attraction and sexual desire.

• Intimacy

Feelings that promote a close bond, including happiness in the other's presence, mutual sharing, and emotional support.

• Decision/commitment

In the short term, a decision to love the other person. In the long term, a commitment to maintain that love.

Sternberg's Triangular Model of Love

According to this model, love consists of three separable factors. Consummate love includes all three together, but other combinations are possible.

INTIMACY

Intimacy alone is just "liking" someone.

PASSION

Passion alone is "infatuation."

COMMITMENT

Decision/commitment alone is "empty love."

Consummate love is intimacy, passion, and commitment combined: the best kind of love and the ingredients for the most successful of relationships. Here are the other combinations:

Intimacy + Commitment without passion = Companionate love

Passion + Commitment without intimacy = Fatuous love

Intimacy + Passion without commitment = Romantic love 

Common factors underlying the many attributes of love

Research has analyzed 68 common love features into three groups.

Group 1 trust, caring, honesty, supportiveness, forgiveness

Group 2 loyalty, devotion, sacrifice

Group 3 butterflies in the stomach, mutual gazing, sexual passion and excitement

Some researchers find that feelings tapped by the intimacy factor often overlap quite a bit with feelings tapped by the other two. That is, feelings of deep intimacy with another person are often closely linked to feelings of passion and commitment.

Research on the components of love asks the questions: How do different feelings inside one person combine within one love relationship? and How do different elements get combined in different kinds of relationships?

Think for a minute about different relationships for which you might use the word love. Not all of them involve equal parts of passion, intimacy, and commitment. If you are infatuated with an attractive person, you may feel passion without intimacy or commitment. Or you may feel committed to maintaining a close relationship with your brother but not experience increased heart rate in his presence.

Here are some different types of love:

• friendship

• sexual love

• parental love

• brotherly love

• sibling love

• maternal love

• passionate love

• romantic love

• familial love

• puppy love

There is a central distinction here between companionate love (the affection and tenderness we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined)and passionate love (a state of intense longing for union with another).

The different types of love are intimately connected to the different types of close relationships in our lives. Our conceptions of love are organized around our relationships with others. The two most central types of relationships appear to be the love of a parent for a child and the love between romantic partners. 

So, when it comes to your own relationship, think about these factors. Do you have all the elements for true love? Sometimes friendship can feel so intimate that you think it could be a romantic relationship, but the passion is not there. Or sometimes  a romance is missing commitment. Only you know whether or not you should take that friendship to the next level (or end a relationship that is missing something significant), but hopefully this will give you a better idea.