Sue parked outside the two-door garage of her mother's house noticing that the usually perfectly pristine lawn now full of sprouting weeds and wiltering begonias. She went through the front door that was strangely unlocked; she called out to her mother. As she walked in the kitchen she noticed her mother's solitary figure hunched over a kitchen stool, and the elderly woman stared out of the skylight window.

"Mum didn't you hear me calling you?" Sue asked as she stood infront of her mother. Ruth, a 70 years young, mother of 3, grandmother of 7, widow, former secondary school teacher, avid gardener, international art film-buff and baker of the best pumpkin pie this side of the springs.

"Did you speak to your father about that prom dress you wanted?" Ruth finally whispered.

"Yeah I did mum....yeah i did", Sue slowly said as she took her mother to sit down on the settee in the living room.

It had started out with her just spacing out a little bit, forgetting birthdays, appointments, and even town bake sale events that she had never missed. A couple of months ago she started to talk about her husband whom she had lost 5 years ago to colon cancer, like he was somewhere in the house busy doing an oddjob. Alzheimer's disease became a legitamate suspicion when just last week Sue's 18 year-old daughter found Nana sleeping on a park bench 20 mins away from her house.

This is the story of millions of Americans caring for elderly parents, having to suddenly become experts in medicine, law, hospital administration, nursing homes, while fighting feelings of guilt and disappointment.

A USA TODAY/ABC News/Gallup Poll of baby boomers finds that 41% who have a living parent are providing care for them, through financial help, personal care or both, and 8% of boomers say their parents have moved in with them.

Among boomers who are helping their parents, 89% say the responsibility is only a "minor sacrifice" or "no sacrifice at all," according to that USA TODAY poll.

There is a physical toll on the children; care givers report having one or more chronic conditions, such as high blood pressure, at nearly twice the rate of all Americans. Of those who say their health has worsened because of care giving, 91% report depression.

Caring for elderly parents can threaten the emotional health of caregivers and their families. The tasks caregivers face, range from providing emotional support (such as telephone calls), to helping with the instrumental activities of daily living (such as transportation, shopping, housekeeping, and meal preparation), to helping with personal care tasks (such as bathing and dressing).

When the elder is impaired by dementia, caregiving becomes all the more stressful, as families must deal with impaired memory, difficult behaviors, and the pain of personality changes in a loved one. If the elder's behavior is embarrassing, the caregiver may become isolated and drop previously enjoyed activities.

The caregiver can become so engrossed in caring for the elder that other family members, such as grandchildren and spouses, are neglected. When caring for an elder exceeds the family's capacity, it is not surprising that family members react with guilt, fear, anger, shame, doubt, and sadness. If the elder must ultimately be cared for in a nursing home, the caregiver must then deal with the constant guilt and feelings of betrayal not to mention the financial distress.

Just like the support they provide for their aging parents, caregivers need a support system of their own. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help (emotional or financial) from other family members, neighbors, church members and other support groups. Becoming a parent of your parent can a difficult and painful process but also one that can not only close gaps and bring the family together but also helping in healing old family wounds.

Do have experience caring for an elderly parent? Come and share it with us at Boomeryearbook