I just watched a movie on tv titled CrazyLove. Everyone should watch this movie. It accurately portrays a young woman trying to please everyone and keep her life structured and controlled, up to her high standards. Then she loses it and is admitted to a psychiatric hospital. It is really moving, especially to someone that has been in her shoes (to a point). The movie was in memory of Carol Watson - based on a true story.

Clinical depression has been a huge part of my life since I was a child. Now, at 40 years old, I am just finally beginning to gain control of my emotions, thoughts and actions. It has been a long, tiresome journey with numerous doctors, medications, counselors and yes, even hospitalization. I am personally speaking to each one of you about the ugly topic of depression because I feel God allowed depression to be a part of my life for the purpose of helping others travel the winding path of darkness to THE LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. That light is the Lord, Jesus Christ.

He is our hope, our ever present help in times of trouble. He will carry us when we can no longer walk. He will give us hope when our hope is gone. He will light the way for us. He is our All in All. Without Him, there is no hope. I can remember a doctor telling me that he had tried every medication and therapy that he knew, and I was still in despair. What happens when someone, especially a doctor, tells a depressed patient that he has done everything he can, and there is nothing else to try?

I will tell you what happens. It takes away all hope of ever being any better than the state of mind you currently are in. It is horrible to feel that there is no hope of ever being any better. Take away ones hope, and you take away their reason to live. Yes, they consider suicide as the only way out of their misery.

Thank our precious Heavenly Father Above that He saw to it that I did not stay in that hopeless state but a few days. He saw to it that I call the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN on a cold Monday morning in February 2004, to see about getting an appointment. The nice person on the other end of the phone told me that it would be 4-6 weeks before I could get in to see anyone because they are so busy. My heart sank.

I frantically told them that I would not be here in 4-6 weeks, that I needed to see them now! He agreed to check and see if there was anything they could do and agreed to call me back that afternoon.

I fell to my knees, face on the kitchen floor, right in my tracks and began to cry, and cry, and cry. Then I began to pray to God, asking Him to intervene and open a place for me so I could go get the help I needed to get well. I just prayed, begging for His mercy on me and my family. I don't know how long I was in the floor praying, but within an hour of my first phone call, the phone rang and it was the nice fella from the Mayo Clinic. He called to tell me that they had an opening for Tuesday afternoon. I was so excited, I was ready to jump for joy. Then I realized it takes all day to drive from eastern Kentucky all the way to Rochester, Minnesota. So I explained the travel distance and asked if I could arrive on Wednesday. He agreed and my hope was renewed, as well as my faith in God and the power of prayer.

God is so good. And His timing in always just right. He knows what we need, when we need it even before we ask.

I must keep you in suspense for the rest of the story. Be sure to check back and catch the rest of the details of my journey to and from the Mayo Clinic as well as adjusting to life on disability retirement.

As you might imagine I still struggle some days with the symptoms of depression. I try to make sure I keep a routine which helps to alleviate some of the symptoms. I try to exercise each day or at least do some manual labor or physical work. The movement of our bodies always gets the juices flowing and helps tremendously. But when I don't feel like doing anything, I have been known just to get outside of the house and take a walk or just get in the car and drive up and down the road. A change of scenery always helps. The best medicine I have found for depression is to look around and find someone needing help, someone worse than me so I can get the focus off myself and on to someone else. This has been the key for me. The Lord has gifted me with service to others and I thrive on it. It helps me shift my focus from my condition and on to someone else. Then I jump into action and start helping others, completely forgetting about my miserable state of mind, and any other negative thoughts that were racing through my mind.

Try it sometime. The next time you feel down in the dumps, look around for someone that may need a hug, or an encouraging word, or maybe they need help carrying in groceries, whatever the need... just reach out and help them and see if you don't come away feeling encouraged yourself, lifted up and much more pleasant.

Let me know how it works and what the results were for you.

While at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, they used a wonderful workbook to speed our recovery. The book is title Mind Over Mood, and it is wonderful. I inserted a link below where you can get a copy for yourself or a friend. It is learning cognitive behavioral therapy. This means learning to control your thoughts which control your moods, which control your actions. It is powerful information and is very effective. I had trouble finding therapists that were trained in CBT, so good luck getting someone to go through the process with you. But it is well worth it. I get it out occasionally now and refresh myself. Good Luck!