When I went in to my yearly appointment a week ago I never imagined what was going on in my body and how it was going to change my life. I walked out of my doctors office in shock and not really knowing what to think. I never thought that I would be faced with this monster. I call it monster because you feel at battle with what is going on under your own skin. Two years ago I had a breast reduction and had the lymph nodes that harbors cancer removed. It was a huge decision in my life that effected me, and not to mention, my husband. It was the longest five minutes of my life walking to my car. I am the strong and positive one. "I will not cry.. I will not cry... I will not cry...." I honestly don't remember most of my drive home. I did not want to call my husband and tell him over the phone. I needed someone to tell me it was all okay. So, I called my best friend. She answered and could barely understand my words I sais, I could barely understand the foreign words coming out of my mouth. It was like a knife in the heart for her. She cried a little and just talked me off the ledge of insanity. At this point I wasn't completely diagnoised. The doctor had only take a small amount into a syringe to make sure it wasn't just a cyst. I scheduled my ultrasound and a follow up appointment. So my best friend went straight for the well we don't know anything for sure yet. We will just wait. "WE WILL JUST WAIT???" Easy for you to say, I thought. I am the positive one.. not you. I am not sure why I was so angry that she took it with stride. Normally, I would have been proud of her finding the positive out of such a negative thing. All I knew was I needed to pull myself together before I got home to tell my husband, the love of my lifetime.