I am not a fan of Nietzschean philosophy, however when old Friedrich stated, "Whatever does not kill me makes me stronger" he was actually summarizing a truism found in many books of wisdom including the Holy Bible. For those readers who automatically tune out when somebody cites Judeo-Christian doctrine, I ask you not to dismiss this prematurely as religion and deprive yourself of the opportunity to gain valuable, even life-saving, knowledge. I am not attempting to convert you, but to share my story of the struggle to survive and the means I found to do so.

I was an 18-year-old freshman trying to give up drinking in a college town when I had a run in with one of those guys who never takes "no" for an answer. He cajoled me mercilessly to "try just one" mixed drink; he wouldn't let go of my arm when I turned to walk off the dance floor after my friends told me they were leaving; he insisted he would drive me home safely. In my naivety I paid attention neither to my mother's past warnings about being alone with one or more males nor to the alarm bells of woman's intuition blaring in my head. I had never had trouble getting a guy to understand where I drew the line before; if saying "no" were not enough, then my body language could become frigid enough to cool a devil's flames. Or so I thought.

After cornering me, cracking crude jokes and other demeaning comments, half suffocating me so I could not scream for help, he rearranged my clothing and tore away a fragile piece of my spirit. I pulled my clothes back over me, and when he left I walked to my residence hall and sat on the floor by my door waiting for my roommate to get home. I told her what had happened and when she asked what I wanted to do about it, I told her I just wanted to shower, go to bed and in the morning get back to life as usual.

I was to discover I was not going to view anything in my life as "normal" for a very long time. Sexually transmitted disease nearly killed me and left me with a 25% chance of ever conceiving a viable pregnancy. Since my dearest dream was to become a mother someday, I plunged into a deeper depression than I had ever experienced, thinking daily about ways to kill myself and reasons not to. I hear many people ask, "If there is such a thing as an omnipotent, benevolent God, then why does He allow violence and other tragedy to happen to people just trying their best to live?" I admit to sharing these feelings at times in my life before I chose to become stronger by surviving.

I found my answers to continue living in holy life itself, in the blessings occurring around me daily including my family and friends. But in order to live life to its fullest I needed help: therapy and attaining wisdom were vital. My fiance', who has now shared 20 years of marriage with me, helped me to admit a traumatic crime had been committed against me. My friends and family helped me remember to participate in activities I loved and even to learn some new ones. The therapists helped me to realize I had done nothing to deserve violence and its aftermath and develop plans to help me feel safe. My bible study and prayer group led me to understanding how following paths of wisdom can not only protect and preserve life, but help us to overcome the trials that are unavoidable and to appreciate that we are always given a choice about what attitude we adopt.

I found lessons for living a life of strength and hope in the Hebrew books of wisdom: Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Songs (also called Song of Solomon). These writings, far different than the dry lists of precepts and genealogy found in other biblical books, are poetic stories, songs, and adages.

In the New Testament I found words from Jesus' half-brother James and posthumous/post-resurrection disciple Paul that provide insight into how suffering can provide a chance to change for the better: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4) "we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." (Romans 5:3b-4). In many places in their writings they refer the reader to the Hebrew prophets who exhibited "patience in the face of suffering" (James 5:10)

The Hebrew books of the prophets in turn wrote of their Lord's blessings for those people who followed His paths of wisdom and charity, and foretold their Messiah (Hebrew for "God's Anointed") who would eventually come to deliver them from all suffering.

The Gospel ("good news") books which recount the life, teachings, death and resurrection story of Christ (Greek for "God's Anointed") Jesus helped me finally to learn to forgive the one who hurt me worst; to allow me to let go of the pain and bitterness that had defined the darkest period of my life; and to find it so much easier to forgive those who had hurt me in lesser ways so that damaged relationships could be repaired.

I often tell people, "I would not wish rape on my worst enemy, but I would not go back and change even that part of my life because without it I would not be who I am today." Because of what I learned about overcoming tragedy, I've been able to share with others in far more useful ways, whether through volunteering my talents to inform others of ways they can help themselves or others, or just being a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen for a grieving friend. I pray for everyone who is going through crisis to survive and choose to use it to make them a better person.