Are you getting what you want out of life? Is your life plan out of whack? Do you even have a life plan anymore? Where did it all go wrong? When was the last time you set and accomplished a goal? If you've ever asked yourself any of these questions, then I have just the answer for you; Self-Discipline and Goal setting. Let me explain, before you complain, about the discipline aspect of the equation for getting your life on track. Discipline literally means gaining control with obedience and training that corrects, molds, or perfects. Discipline is not authority or punishment, ok...maybe when it comes to children, but not concerning improving your life.

Before I completely explain how self-discipline will improve your life, I'll give you a behind-the-scenes introduction to my first taste of discipline, perhaps on the extreme side of the spectrum. Many years ago, I began working out religiously and taking courses for personal training. Along this path, I met and and befriended several bodybuilders, not freaks on steroids (pardon the name-calling), but dedicated all-natural bodybuilders. These people had a clear goal and lived their life accordingly. Not only did they work hard in the gym most, if not all, days of the week, but they didn't slack when they were away from the gym either- meaning eating clean and other healthy habits. They knew that what they did today would effect tomorrow's progress. How do they stay so focused? In everything they do, including all the daily miniscule decisions we often deem meaningless, they ask themselves, "Will this help me or sabotage me accomplishing my goal?"

The difference between natural bodybuilders and those on "drugs" is hard work and no quick-fix solution. If you really want something, you don't care how much effort you have to put into it and you certainly don't look for the quick-fix because quick-fixes are for those not quite dedicated to their goal and are usually followed by a quick end. Bod-building is not half-ass. If you want to accomplish a goal you can't be kinda committed.

In a way, being self-disciplined is being mindful of the moment- doing nothing on autopilot. It's the sub-conscious decisions we make that sabotage us, because we were not fully prepared to handle them- we had no plan or were not conscious of our plan/goal during the poor decision making process. One of the most important factors in quitting smoking is to have a back up plan, like a new (healthy) habit to substitute the action of smoking. Many fail because they did not plan ahead with something to fill that void that smoking used to. It's easiest to break a habit when you have something to replace it with. If you feel like eating something but you're not hungry, always have a bottle of water with you and take some drinks from it. It keeps your hands and mouth occupied- it's a mental trick.

So you have a goal in mind. What is your primary motivation for it? Before you can apply self-discipline or goal setting ,you have to know where your motivation comes from. No book or nobody can tell you what motivates you. If you talk to bodybuilders each one has a different reason for doing what they do. meaning different motivations. I believe this is what derails people from their goal, not knowing or utilizing their sources of motivation.

Bodybuilders also know, and apply, what the average unsuccessful dieter and gym-goer do not; it's a lifestyle. I realize many diet books proudly reiterate this glorious end-all be-all epiphany. Bodybuilders know in order to be successful, they have to surround themselves with support and/or like-minded individuals. They know their weaknesses. They couldn't be around a bunch of guys who gorge themselves on pizza and soda every weekend during football games. Instead, they get together with like-minded friends who make some protein shakes and chicken breasts snacks and call it a party. They also write down and pre-plan specifically what weights and excercises they'll do, what they will eat, and consistent goals and time-frames to reach them. Since it takes such hard work to accomplish their pyhsique, they can't let the little things in life side track them. Eye on the ball.

Learning from the bodybuilders' way of life, I came to admire them, and lived that self-disciplined life for three years. That was my lifestyle and it worked for me, but then everything else in my life changed. I got married, a full-time desk job, and a baby- suddenly my lifestyle and goals didn't revolve around being a super-fit, rep-pumping, protein guzzling guru. The first thing I did...gained 15 pounds- ugh! Why? My old goals, which I was desperately hanging onto, didn't coincide with my new lifestyle. Of course I beat myself up and felt like I was going against the grain vehemently for at least a year (I'm a stubborn girl) before I realized something wasn't working.

Sometimes new goals are waiting to be discovered. I may still want to be fit, but I don't care about seeing muscle tweaking out everywhere as much. So I put my life into perspective and noted that I wanted to be a healthy role model for my little girl. I want to be around (healthy and active) for my future grand kids. So I had to adjust my old goal and update it utiling a new motivation.

I remember a quote I once heard- 'there are only two pains to suffer: discipline or regret. Discipline is a little less painful than regret'.

Here's how to set and attain goals:

1. Have a clear/specific goal in mind, something realistic and acheivable. Daydreams don't count! It's also not realistic if you've failed at it many times before or you're skipping about ten steps that should come before a too-big or general goal.

2. Make your goals personal and emotional for you. Don't think of how or what you should be by someone else's standards. Evaluate your own values because this will effect your performance and behavior- what you think, is how you act. Personally, I have a vision of my daughter one day asking me "if she can lift weights or exercise with mommy" or saying "I want to be successful like mommy". This will be a proud, and emotional, moment I hope to experience.

3. Write down your goal and specific steps necessary. Keep it visibly noticeable so it's not far form your mind. It can be more like a to-do list if that helps. Often people write their goals and New Year's resolutions in a fancy little notebook, one they usually never open again. A to-do list is visible, like on the fridge or your desk. Right next to going to the bank and grocery store is going to the gym.

4. Focus on the pleasure you will receive when you accomplish your goal. If you would like to assign a reward, then do so. Envision what it would be like to be a fit role model for your friends and family or to proudly say you own your own business or you are happy with your position at work.

5. Enlist others to help you and/or join you. Support is essential (just like with bodybuilders). Be accountable to someone.

6. Use imagination and inspiration to motivate you. Find out what inspires you- for me, this is my mom. She has been a Type 2 Diabetic for 25 years and overweight most of her life, which has led to her arthritis and other health issues. I don't want to be in her condition so I take care of myself. I imagine myself not being able to get around easily, can't do simple tasks, and sit out on fun activities.

7. Incorporate your new goals and changes into your life. Soon, your new changes will be a habit or just part of your life and who you are. At first you may have to skip a fun party or say no to friends and family, but it gets easier. Over time, they respect you more and either not interrupt you during the times when you're working out or putting in extra time working on your entreprenual venture or they join you and ask for your advice.

People are more successful when given a series of small goals to accomplish one big goal. Little successes along the way to the ultimate goal infuses you with more confidence. This can be applied to a dieter who takes small steps to their goal weight. For example, changing from whole milk to non-fat and leaving cheese off their meals. These small changes assist with making it a lifestyle change. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable sometimes. People want to accomplish a goal and have pure fun and an easy path doing it- refer to #1, be realistic, don't be disappointed.

Anthony Robbins, well-know motivational speaker and life coach, states that once people change their "shouldas" into "musts" then they accomplish what they want. Many people have put forth their best in dire times- survival mode perhaps.