Odds are, if you're like most everyone in the world, you have at least a bit of fear when it comes to public speaking. Your heart may begin to race, you begin to sweat, and the presentation you went over time and time again in your head suddenly seems like it was written in a foreign language. Where does this fear come from? And more importantly, what can we do to comat it?

Talking to Strangers

As a kid growing up, I'm sure that you heard the line "don't talk to strangers." Back then, it made sense - you didn't know the person, you didn't know their intentions, and it just seemed like the safe thing to do. But now, all grown up and in the real world, you more than likely talk to strangers every day, and few things can be as intimidating as talking to a group of strangers who are all focused solely on you.

When we talk to our friends, colleagues or family, we are usually in a state of comfort. Whether we are discussing the stock market, an idea for a business plan, or simply our own views on a particular issue, we are confident that the conversation will go relatively well. It doesn't really matter whether we slip up a bit on a few words or forget what we are saying for a few moments - the person to whom we are talking isn't going to judge us, or what we are saying, on those small mistakes. This is because that person has a level of respect for us and for our ideas.

This all changes, however, when we are talking to strangers, especially if we haven't had the chance to meet or talk with them before. What we say, and how we say it, our body language, our grammar - all of these things will be critiqued by the listener, because they are, in essence, getting a first impression of who we are. This is important to keep in mind when giving a speech or presentation - that we are, in fact, making a first impression on our audience. This doesn't mean, however, that we have to act terribly different or unlike ourselves when speaking publicly.

Perhaps the most "popular" advice to a first-time public speaker is to imagine the audience in their underwear. I would not recommend this, but the line of thought is on the right path. Establishing a rapport with the audience - encouraging the audience (and yourself) to feel that the interaction is a little bit more personable can go a long way in alleviating some of the stress of public speaking. Meeting some of the audience beforehand, exchanging greetings, or even becoming friends with some of the audience members (if possible) will make things much easier on you. Having even one or two people in the audience that you can look at while speaking and actually know, or at least have met, making eye contact with them - this will boost your confidence. These people will not be judging you - they will already have an impression of the person you are, and you can be confident that they will be focusing on the material you are presenting, rather than on your character or style.

Focus

The second biggest stressor when speaking in public is that you are the center of attention. Even for those of us who crave the spotlight, this can sometimes be a bit overwhelming, especially depending on the size of the audience.

But really, when you think about it, if you have something intelligent to say, or if you have information that is interesting or helpful to the audience, they will be much more focused on the information itself than on the way in which you are presenting it. You can use this to your advantage! Take the time to set up your speech or presentation so that it does focus on the material. Use multimedia (pictures, diagrams, etc.) to take the focus off of you as a speaker and place it more on the information. Use statistics, definitions, or other specificities that you can refer to that will get your audience thinking about the topic and want to hear more of what you have to say. The more into your topic you are, the more you know about it - the less you (and the audience) will be focusing on you.

Confidence

On a similar note, confidence can play a large role in how well your public speaking session goes. And I'm not talking about the confidence you have in how good of a public speaker you are, I'm talking about the confidence you have in knowing your material.

For instance, say that you are really into sports, and there are a few teams you have been following. Your friend asks you which one you think is going to win the championship this year. You don't think about the way you're going to phrase the answer to that question - you just answer it.

The more comfortable you are with your material, the more confident you will be, because you will be thinking less about how to phrase things and more about conveying your vast knowledge of a subject to your audience. Also, memorizing a speech or presentation is one of the worst ways to go about public speaking, unless the specific assignment requires it. Memorization requires you to know the entire speech, backwards and frontwards, and if you miss a line, you may be stuck in front of your audience with nothing to say. Memorize the main points you want to cover, and go from there. If you know your material, you will have no problem talking about each point as it comes up, and you will be ready to field any questions your audience may have at the end of your presentation.

Overall

There is no "simple" solution for getting over the fear of public speaking. It is almost ingrained into our personality. In striving to make a good first impression, our attention to detail and self-consciousness increase, which tends to make us nervous and overly focused on ourselves. Establishing a rapport with the audience beforehand, focusing on the material, and having a good background and understanding of that material will go a long way in helping you combat your fear of public speaking. It most definitely gets easier as you go - trust me - my first public speaking class was scary! But now, as a waiter, I meet almost a hundred people every night, and I am rarely intimidated or stressed about talking to them and answering any questions they have, because I build rapport, focus on the food, and know the menu front and back. Be confident in the fact that (with your mother's permission) you are now ready to talk to strangers!