Going through a divorce is never easy, but especially for a man, the odds are against you when the court is deciding on division of assets and child custody agreement. So, whether you are thinking about getting a divorce or have already begun the process, you need to start getting your financial matters in order and planning your strategy. If you don’t, you risk losing EVERYTHING or at least much more than a fair share of your assets in the divorce.

For example, many men are paying way too much in child support and alimony without even knowing that! While they struggle to come up with the payments, their ex-wives may be spending the money to purchase fancy clothes, exotic vacations, or other luxuries.

The courts usually favor women, because they are considered victims. Although you may be thinking at the moment that your wife is different and will not use, the divorce often brings out the lowest instincts in people, so you need to be prepared for an ugly battle.

1. Get the right attitude. Most men think that divorce is like a lawsuit. The fact is that men who approach divorce like a business negotiation get the best results. To the state, marriage is nothing more than a contract, and divorce is the dissolution of that contract. Therefore, you need to approach your divorce like a business deal, not a lawsuit.
2. Protect your financial security. Close all joint accounts, such as credit card accounts or others. If there is a significant income disparity between you and your wife and her income is much lower than yours, get advice how to lower that disparity and bring your incomes closer together. For example, if your wife does not work, you can get an evaluation of your wife's potential work force value.
   
   You may need to hire a good CPA to help you protect you finances. He or she may give you advice on how to best handle your finances, how to take advantage of tax deductions during the divorce, etc. Insisting that a part of your child support payments go the the child's college savings account is another good idea.
3. Find a good divorce lawyer. In some rare cases, when the couple agrees on all the terms of the divorce, you may be able to get a divorce without the lawyer. But in majority of cases, the first thing you will need to do is to get a good lawyer whom you can trust.
   
   It's best to choose a lawyer on recommendation, but if this is not possible interview at least three lawyers before you pick one. Explain to your lawyer exactly what you want them to do and what you do not want them to do on your behalf.
   
   Unfortunately, most lawyers don’t care too much about their clients, so it’s important to be as informed and as prepared as you can to be in control of the process. If you are not in control of the process, the process will control you.
4. Do not get angry and do not create or escalate conflict. Try to keep positive during the divorce and take the high road as often as you can. That means trying to compromise. Especially think about your kids and do what’s best for them. Try to come up with solutions that work for everyone, not just you.
   
   Experienced divorce lawyers agree that the angriest people end up hurting their own interests by refusing to give an inch. Even if you are really angry with your wife, and even if she is hateful and impossible to work with, do not get carried away by your emotions. Try to keep your cool as this will help you do what is best for you and your kids. Try to treat it as a business negotiation, not a battle, even though it may sometimes feel like it.
   

When people are getting married, they are happy and hopeful, and few of them ever consider that one day they may they may find themselves in a divorce battle. Maybe you did not expect it, or maybe you have seen it coming coming over a period of days, months, or even years. Divorce is hard to go through for anybody and if you are a man, it can be even harder. It is crucial to develop an effective divorce strategy as soon as possible.