Do Men like Women with a strong mind?
77Disclaimer: All opinions and views expressed in this hub are based on my personal experiences and by no means they represent a particular group as a whole.
Recently I was having discussion with a friend(wandererh) of mine here on hub pages. The topic came to discussing about "strong women". Now first of all strong can mean different things to different people. Hence to me strong means a person who is a emotionally, intellectually and spiritually strong.
Around this time last year when I went to India as per parental wishes I met a guy at my parents place. He was from a nice family, possessing our "traditional" values and pretty decent looking. He works for one of the top IT company in India. I met him and we spoke for a few minutes. During the first meeting he didn't ask me anything in particular. But the next day over the phone he wanted to talk to me a little more(I was happy that he was showing interest in me). He was asking about my education and career which was already told to him but never the less I just gave a recap. When he asked me what I felt about India I gave a good reply that India is booming with opportunities and I see an exciting future for it. I wasn't sure why he asked me that question but I didn't specifically say that I would just drop everything and relocate to India or he should consider relocating to US(felt it was far too early to go into all that). And also since such things aren't as important for me personally then marrying the right person. If the person is right I would relocate to India too(so far at least that has been my stance). And he asked me about my education I was explaining about our University campus and life in US (I only once went to a pub that too just to see how it looks from the inside which I told him). I didn't tell him that I don't drink or whether I was involved in anything else that a traditional girl from our culture shouldn't be involved in(as such things are understood and not to be told in so many words). When he asked me whether the University life was fun I said that I was focussed on my studies but during the break we went on a road trip to Mount Rushmore/Chicago which was a lot of fun(we were 3 girls and 2 boys) with numerous funny incidents. Actually just to share one such incident in Sioux city a White lady asked us whether girls in India marry snakes? Although we were stunned with that question but I replied that it is true and no wonder bollywood heroines are so slim due to this genetic contribution. Now she had a puzzled look to which I explained that we were joking and it wasn't true. Another Incident was the boys in our group wanted to take a snap with a person who was fully dressed in "Native Indian" attire near the Crazy Horse memorial. After taking those pictures he asked us where we were from(since we were talking in Hindi) we told him that we are from India then he said "that fellow columbus went to find you guys and found us since then we have known no peace".
Anyway coming back to the present discussion of my conversation with the boy. Thus I was explaining various things and gave him a brief sketch about my life in University and later about my present Job (which I have already shared in another hub about myself). During those 3/4 days on the phone we were talking and getting to know each other. But all of a sudden one day without letting me know in person he stopped calling me. I wasn't sure what happened then I came to know through my parents that the boy's side felt I was too "independant" and strong for his son. Anyway that certainly was a wake up call for me to be more careful in the future. After that I got a thorough marriage portfolio done and left back for US with some lessons learned.
I have a very close Indian friend here in Seattle and she tells me it takes a while to get adjusted in marriage. She has two kids one son aged 9 years and daughter aged 7 years who take to soccer and ballet classes respectively. She said that her husband is very cooperative and helpful in domestic chores but during the initial phase of the marriage it wasn't so perfect since some times in India some men who have grown up with seeing there parental roles of father and mother grow up in adult life with the same attitudes. Not that my friend is feminist or anything. She is a very practical woman. She even told me once that if it were not for good public schools in our school district she probably wouldn't have stayed at home(she was working earlier) since with one income they can't afford to pay for the private school fees for their kids. She is a very active person who maintains a nice backyard(in summer with various vegetables) and also does some freelance IT (recruitment consulting) staying at home besides taking care of their kids(I just wanted to mention this as staying at home isn't a bed of roses either). Hence in life one deals with situations as they come along. Even I feel there are no absolutes in life and we have to deal/work with the challenges/scenario as we face them to succeed in life. If we feel family is being neglected and family happiness is a greater priority then personal career or goals then we have to work on that. Going against the scenario doesn't achieve anything but working with our ground realities makes for a fulfilling happy lives(although it also depends a lot on our partners attitudes/efforts too).
All I seek is opinions whether men think that women who are dependant on them make for a "better" wife. Do some of you think that women who are well educated and who also bring an additional income are somehow having more "ego" hence difficult to deal with. Or neither of these and a strong woman can be an advantage in dealing with so many issues & challenges in life.
Do Men like Women with a Strong Mind?
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Very good hub and nice commentary about indian guy. I think Men like Women with a strong mind? yes . Strong mind mean your strong in all your convictions
Dear countrywoman, as you know, Gandarvika matches work sometimes, sometimes not.
some men are truly happy to find an independent and brilliant woman. My suggestion is go on http://veggieconnection.com and put in your profile. Ask them for their birthdate, if you seem interested in them. Send me the birthdate to check compatibility, proceed from there. At least you will know you are compatible. http://astrosynchronicity.us/stars/?page_id=129
Country women,
A smart women is an asset, but so is a smart man. Why fight over what makes the better match? I look at this way, my wife and I are mutally dependent on each other to make something beautiful, strong and lasting. We're both brilliant and idiotic, let's just hope that we're both not idiots at the same time.
sschilke
Relsol1- WOW!! That is so nice to hear. As my father used to modify this quotation from behind to besides i.e, "Besides" every successful man there is a woman. I am sure your significant other would be lucky when you have such a wonderful attitude. Hope you achieve all the goals that you have. Have a good day. Thanks for commenting.
Lgali- Thanks for those nice words. Glad you like this hub and thanks for commenting.
Vrajavala- Thanks for those links. Yes I do agree some men do like strong women. My horoscope details are with my parents. Thanks for the offer and will update you shortly.
Sure I do. Many men don't though. They got scared of competition :D
Cw..it is true that men over here prefer women to be dependant on them. They do have huge ego problems.It is soo very slowly changing, but not much. My maids.. tho’ they are so financially in want.. have to deal with their husbands' permanent nagging that they are being supposedly independent just cos they are earning. Very silly!
I agree with Misha, many men don't want to "deal" with a strong woman, however I tend to like a little mental stimulation in my diet.
Maybe you can try out Google Romance!LOL.Better options!:)
I like women with strong minds! :P
Don't know about men, but this woman here does like women with a strong mind! Laugh!
CW, I think it's very dependent on the guy, some do seem threatened by strong women, and then also the cultural background can have an influence. Don't know, I think it depends on the guy.
I admire woman who are emotionally, intellectually and spiritually strong. If you ask me I would say that never ever change yourself for anyone. If he cannot accept you as yourself then he is not worth you.
Sschilke- I know you are way too witty to be an "Idiot". Another great witty Man was GB Shaw and here is Joke attributed to him. Enjoy:-)
When a beautiful British actress sent a marriage proposal to the famous George Bernard Shaw, suggesting that their child would have her beauty and his brains, the witty Shaw declined the tempting offer with: "What, if the child is born with my looks and your brain?"
Misha- I know you like all "women". Of course you don't mind competition rather you thrive on competition which makes you better and also to keep you motivated to become the Saint or an Angel for all of us.
Laila- I guess financial dependence does come into picture but sometimes even if others things are ok men may want a women to always look up to them I feel. You are right things are changing even my cousin who is in India her husband does help her a lot. Thanks for stopping by. Now you do amuse me with the Google Romance..LOL
Gamergirl- WOW!! Even I like woman with strong minds. Btw congrats for your upcoming marriage. I added myself to his fan club too. Thanks for stopping by.
Elena- Your intelligence and style can be witnessed in your writings. I am a big fan of your writing abilities. Yes that is true as it totally depends on the guy. And also Indian guys(especially in my community) are changing /evolving along with the times as has also been mentioned by Laila.
Anamika- Well I will not change myself(don't know if it is even possible overnight) but I will try to adapt according to the situation. As my father always says to work with the system and not go against it. I will do my best once I am married. Thanks for stopping by.
I love strong and intelligent women! Although my partner is beautiful, I am with her for her mind more than anything. She also stops me doing too many stupid things!
CW, I think it takes a very strong man to appreciate a strong woman.
Some months ago, a guy friend asked me, "What must a girl do to get me to let go of my freedom and get married?" I told him that the girl does not have to do anything, she just have to be herself.
The reason I'm bringing this up is that you mentioned that in future, you would have to be more careful. But why? Just be yourself. If the guy doesn't get the wonderful deal he's getting, or if he's threatened by you, then he's probably not the guy for you.
Aya, thanks for the compliment :)
Yup I do love a woman with a strong mind.
Sufi- You have the best of all worlds then BIKE (Beauty, Intelligence, Kind and Entertaining) this was coined by my brother a long time back..LOL. Now I wonder what stupid things she stops you from (did you already let out the secret that you would be inviting myself and SweetiePie to Sparta)..hehe
Aya- Actually both can complement each other and work on improving each other to be strong in areas in which the other person lacks it. Thanks for stopping by and I see that Misha has already proclaimed himself to be at the receiving end of that compliment.hehe
Wandererh- Sometimes when we don't understand each other very well then we have to be careful of what we say as things can be interpreted in different ways. Well it is not always possible to be just the way we are when others tend to judge you by verbal or non verbal communication. I wish that was true when people take a lot of time/effort in understanding each other before judging but it is not so always. Thanks a lot for inspiring me to write this article.
Misha- Now we need the inputs of your significant other to second this compliment (but don't worry till then I give you the benefit of doubt for this compliment)..LOL
NeedfulThings- I guess lots of guys do admire strong women but in reality do they really like to coexist as a husband and wife with such a women was my original thought. Never the less I am glad to hear your opinion. Thanks for stopping by.
Any man worth marrying would want such a woman.
LondonGirl- Actually I hope that is true but sometimes in reality they may admire such women but when it comes to such a woman being there own wife it takes more effort to adjust. I am talking about guys(in our community) who of course are changing for the better mostly. I do understand what you are saying and it does sound wonderful. Btw I just hope that at least in my case what you said is true(if I am allowed to flatter myself to be considered as "strong"). Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Maybe a relationship initially starts with what both like parties in one another, but what would make the relationship last, ultimately, is the realization that one completes or complements the other regardless of what they initially liked or disliked at the beginning. :D
The one thing that aboslutely irritates me is an intelligent woman who acts less intelligent than she is in order to impress a man.
It isn't just India that does this to their me. It took 4 years to get my hubby to understand that i was not going to be broke like a horse. Some catholics stil try to get my husband involved with what I post and tell him to control my speaking. Ain't gonna happen!!
Wives submit to your husbands does not mean do as they wish at all times and be like the Stepford Wives!
There is an article on the internet about how men are to treat their wives and when I find it I will post it for you to read and compare.
Cris- That is like the whole life's wisdom in one sentence. There isn't one word in it that I would like to change in that sentence. What else can I say except thanks for such a wise insight.
Bdazzler- Unless a woman knows for sure how much the guy can handle of her why should she open her mouth too much. And if someone is truly intelligent they should be able to find out pretty soon anyway. And more ever it would be nice for some one to consider us not so intelligent then prove them wrong rather than vice versa...LOL
LG- Well my experience is very limited and didn't want to generalize as such hence I didn't include any other group besides my community in India. Well I don't know whether I will go against my husband or whether my husband would tell me something that would go against what I feel. I have to see how things pan out for me. Well I would like to read from both perspectives both how men should treat women and how women should treat men. I guess proper understanding of each others point of view would help to make for a happy married life.
Without equality and genuine respect on both sides, there is no genuine relationship at all, in my view.
Hey CW ... There's a difference between modesty and dishonesty. I think what you're describing is modesty. What irritates me is dishonesty.
Yes, that would make it so. Only I had no idea it was going to be like that when I got married. BTW, thoe words were my husband's in the earliest part of our marriage some 11 year ago.
I think most men are brought up to believe that women shoud be of lower intellegence then then and do as they say to the point of doing it just becaue they say so. Some men will take what is in the Bible and miscontrue it way out of whack.
I realize that you were talking about Indian men and I was stating that it isn;t just them.
I am not sure what it is that they really want or thefamiles--help around the house or someone who can contribute to the household in all ways. Sure does get confusing, doesn't it?
I had to get my husband to realize that I couldn't be two generations at once--either I go outside the home and work or I stay at home and be a home maker. The homemaker panned out--not becuase I wanted it to but for health reasons.
This aspect of intelligence of the women needs to be brought up with the times that we are in.
I can't find that site right now, but as soon as I do I will post it. It was old so itmay not even be there anymore.
LondonGirl- I am not an expert and don't know exactly what is good or bad. Sometimes what we perceive about a certain aspect may not be correct about that person to the magnitude we expect hence only over a period of time the true picture emerges. But this statement from Cris I completely agree "Maybe a relationship initially starts with what both like parties in one another, but what would make the relationship last, ultimately, is the realization that one completes or complements the other regardless of what they initially liked or disliked at the beginning"
Bdazzler- It depends on the relationship too about how it is perceived. When we like the other person than even the biggest flaws are overlooked and when we don't then even minor flaws are blown out of proportion hence on matters of perception like modesty/dishonesty I would leave the question open based on the other persons perspective.
LG- I know there is no one perfect size that fits all. Each couple have their own challenges in life which they have to deal with. Marriage is one of the biggest challenges where two people have to lead the rest of their lives together. Now it is up to them what and how they deal when they face those challenges. I personally would give a priority to family but at the same time I don't know if I can ever be idle too (may be I will write a hub every few hours then)...LOL
OK, Well, you asked for our opinions, and in my opinion, dishonesty irritates me.
I agree with BDazzler--dishonsetly riles me to now end especially when they know it is.
Bdazzler- I am sorry if I upset you with my reply. All I meant was that we may mean to be modest but if the other person doesn't like us then he may consider it as dishonest. But you are right dishonesty by itself irritates most of us including myself.
LG- I was just trying to see how things sometimes maybe perceived which may or may not always be the truth. But again once it is established to be "dishonest" then it is something that irritates me too.
Thanks both of you for stopping by and commenting.
LOL ... it's OK CW ... I'm sure that's part of the reason I'm still single! Evidenlty I can't tell, someitmes! LOL!
Bdazzler- I was actually thinking that from my personal experience in life where maybe my mention of the Fun trip with those boys wasn't interpreted properly with the guy I was talking to and since he didn't ask any further I felt no need to clarify at that time. I was trying to say that I am not all that serious studios kind of girl and love traveling. But he must have understood me as too fast for him. I really don't know what went through his mind since I didn't bother to clarify after I came to know the news from my parents(at least two days back when we spoke he could have told me himself I would have had a lot of respect for his straight forward opinion). Sometimes when there is no real rapport even things which I say in a innocent friendly way are misconstrued of course after that episode I have been a little more careful.
Btw there is some one some where for all of us and don't ever stop looking out. Btw being single I hope you are ready to mingle ;)
What a great question, CW. I answered "maybe" to your poll. I think it depends on how a man is raised and his strength of character. I agree with Aya that "...it takes a very strong man to appreciate a strong woman."
I think this current generation of young American men and women see the world differently than I did growing up in the 60s, and they definitely see it differently from those who grow up in other cultures. When I was growing up, I was encouraged by my family to achieve to my potential, but I was also encouraged by my culture to submit to the man in domestic matters. It was a confusing time.
This young man on the phone, I think he was not brave enough to tell you that he was fishing for the "right" answers according to his beliefs. Please forgive me if I am wrong, but I think his behavior was deceitful, since he never told you why he stopped the phone conversations. Instead, he told his family, who told yours. Here's the good news...he is not right for you. He is not a strong man who appreciates a strong woman.
I've been reading all your Hubs, although not commenting, and I am beginning to understand the extraordinary woman you are. Intelligent, goal-oriented, supported by family, and also living in two cultures. You have a lot on your plate, but I believe you will handle it all, and handle it well.
Be strong, be you.
Your fan, Sally
Okay, Country, we have to have a serious talk here. You are a woman caught between two worlds and two cultures. You have to think seriously about what world you want to live in. I suspect that you want to marry an Indian man in order to please your family. What do YOU want? The answer to your question is that some men like a strong minded woman because the men in question are strong men who can be comfortable with an intelligent woman.
Other men want to be in charge totally and there are plenty of women who want to be "taken care of" so it works out well! I have to say that there are some women waving the "girls can handle it alone" flag so high that it annoys the crap out of everyone around them, men and women.
I don't know what a perfect marriage is, but we've been married for 35 years and we've had our struggles over the years, but it works because we BOTH make decisions and he expects me to have a brain of my own...actually, he's the one who pushes and encourages me to do more, try for more, to do things I've never done because he believes that I can more than I do! That, I love about him and our relationship. I was such a wuss when he married me! I didn't have a clue and just muddled along through life. He taught me to be strong, to try new things and to go for it. THAT'S a secure man!
But what do you want? Do you want to be the woman in a typical Indian/Hindu marriage or is it maybe that you have seen more and want more than that? (By that I mean, more choice in important decisions, more say-so about your life?) What about an Americanized/Indian guy? What I love is that you are thinking this through. Lots of Americans just fall into marriages and then wonder why it didn't work! Asking questions first is a good idea.
However, if you are thinking that there is something wrong with you because some guy thought you were "too independent" then thats a load of bull. You are who you are and never change to fit someone else's mold because it will never work and you don't need to change you to please anyone, girlfriend!!!!
Madison
Dear CW,
About that guy: this was not only HIS DESICION, that was FAMILY DESICION. You were to independent to be part of that family (thanks God!)
One part of my job is counselling (plus my life-experiences, plus my friend`s ones): a lot of man are very afraid of intelligent women, with her own attitude. Woman who is independent, intelligent, strong, especially spiritually sensitive (sees anything) can be danger to that type of man who wants to keep illusional picture of himself like of "boss" in the relationship, that one who is "better" then his wife (fiancee, girlfriend, whatever). A lot of guys do marry stupid or just dependent girls: "yes my dear, you are right, whatever you say". Such girl would be always in the shadow of her shinning King. You are not that type (neither me).
A lot of men do want strong or intelligent woman as mistress, not as wife.
Fortunately there are great man (new generations) everywhere around, who respect gifted women. My warmest advice is to visualize kind of guy you would want. And pray and meditate to get them (in USA, maybe would be easier, here you can keep your independence in the marriage as well). When I say "independence", I mean that you should not loose yourself, your values, your believes, your individuality.
In my present relationship, I passed through the very difficult period, because I wanted to do my job, after few months I refused to be servant (I told him that I should be paid in case if I do ALL THE HOUSEWORK on my own- he did not do anything at all, just mess)...And I also told him that if when I work, my job is also as difficult as his, and should be appreciated, and that I cannot be maid in the house+taking complete care about his Majesty and entertain him¸+earn money (I moved from the capital of Croatia, and I am self employed)+change all my attitudes and be obedient (no way!).. There was also problem with my spiritual beliefs (influence of his family), because I am open to ALL SPIRITUAL PATHS (especially tolerant ones), need to meditate + my addiction to mantras was not acceptable...uuuffff...All these problems arised AFTER I moved to lived with my bf...Now is much better.
In your case, problems were noticed on time, and good for you, God saved you...from man and family who need servant without brain to be shaped on the way they want you to be....
It is not easy to be a woman, even now in 21st century...But we are strong, we will manage that.
I wish you the best partner you can imagine... and relationship full of love, understanding and happiness.
Love & Light
PS. Madison reached the right point: what do you want, dear CW??? Living in two cultures you evoluted as an individual much quicker as a part of your personal karma...What would be really best for you?
CW my dear, in our country it is aout e-q-u-a-l-i-ty. Some don't abide, but in general a manand wife should be equals=oneness
Tatjama---four thumbs up!!!!
Thanks Lady G. I think I know for wich part of my post is that, he, he, he!
I agree with Relsol1; two partners who are if not driven but productive and intelligent can contribute to a good life for both partners and the family that may follow come along out of that union.
As a matter of fact tonight, my partner and I were jabbering at dinner in a Mexican restaurant, and I told him if I can come across good money this year, I would like for us to both purchase a home by the beach in both our names- this would involve moving out of Oregon (as per his suggestion) to a warmer climate. He already visualized what he wants, a room in the house which will be his studio on top of a hill overlooking the ocean. Its a realizable goal, but I have to be able to contribute. Making myself less "smart" or "able" would defeat our purpose, not that Phil needs my money, or "intellect" (he is brillant) but he lives off his investments and it wouldn't make sense to make a change without my financial contribution.
Times have changed no matter what culture we come from, and a big mistake is for women to suppress their abilities and expression, be it creative, spiritual or professional, and I suspect many men appreciate a partner they can co-create a good life with.
Countrywomen: Yep of course they can coexist... when both learn to compromise it becomes proof that both of them are indeed strong. And anybody who challenges a couple like that... beware.
Dear CountryWomen,
I would rather say it depends on each person...I've seen through my life a loving and caring father, a encouraging brother and a very very supportive husband....luckily i have no direct impact of such men...but was unfortunate enough to have a friend who has this down to earth opinion about women besides having a very understaning man as father(know the family personally very well)...
It is the attitude they build themselves as they grow..we can never blam the enitre men for this....I'm sure with my experience that atleast 60% of todays generation love to have a very strong woman to support them and love them...
Sally- Maybe you are right that he was looking for specific answers when I was giving answers without thinking much about those questions. I don't have much of an experience while dealing with someone while under serious consideration for marriage. I guess maybe he didn't want to break the "bad" news to hurt me or maybe as Tatjana said it was a family decision (we will never know). Anyway I always believe whatever happens it happens for good. It was a learning experience. Thanks for reading my hubs and hope you do give me such feedback whenever possible. It is really nice to hear from you and all those kind words are really encouraging. I guess we will find out very soon how I fare in life and hopefully going forward everything is going to be ok. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Madison- When you say we have to talk I actually straightened up since even when my mom has to tell me something serious she sounds exactly like that. You do remind me of my mother with the tone of your words. Ok actually even Sally asked me a similar question whether I am looking for someone from my background and the answer is Yes. The reasons range from my personal apprehension of adjustments to societal/family expectations. It may take a separate hub to explain all those reasons. But seriously within my community I expect to find someone with whom I can have a great life. I want to work with the existing system that is common in our culture yet adapt it to the changing life around us (I guess I am sounding complicated now). After the previous brief exchange even my parents understand that a Indian guy who has been over here in US for a while understands the ground realities better than someone who may just have perceptions of the life over here. Let us see how things go at my end. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Tatjana- First of all Congrats!!! On getting four thumbs up from LG. To get a stamp of approval from a strong woman like LG certainly means a lot. Yes you could be right it could be a family decision(which is pretty common in our culture). But sometimes I don't understand when someone is 26 years (at that time) then he should have a little more say in what kind of woman he would like to be married to. But anyway past is past and I don't want to evaluate that episode too much. Yes even my parents feel someone from US would be better for me. I know no relationship is a fairy tale and one has to work towards making it a success. I will be more than willing to do my part as long as my partner is cooperative and doesn't hurt me physically or verbally. Even my mother has raised me not to have too much unrealistic expectation and I would deal with the situation as it comes by. Well from my childhood I have never had much of issues with men in general whom I found that when I treat them nicely with respect they more than reciprocate it back to me. In fact a couple of times with fellow woman I run into issues which is kind of funny in a way. Thanks for mentioning about my Karma which I strongly believe in and my relationship with the divinity makes me believe that I would have a good life ahead as I have had so far in my life (at least I am hoping for that). Thanks a lot for those insights and hope everything is going smoothly with your relationship now.
I have a highly opinionated but ambitious mother. Going from that, it's never really been a threat or even a bother for a woman that I am interested in to be independent, express her ideas or values, or want to be ambitious.
I've never envisioned myself with a woman that is attached to a "traditional role." With that being said, I think that there are many guys that think as I do - they want someone they think as an equal: equal in mind, body, and spirit. I don't think that the woman should be dragged around to different places. I think it should be a mutual decision and that concessions need to be made on both sides.
From what I have experienced from talking with women in my age group, they want their opinions to matter, but not necessarily be in charge. They want to know that they are part of a team and being in that team matters.
CCR- I do understand men and women are different hence all that equality stuff doesn't appeal too much to me. There shouldn't be some sort of competition between them rather cooperation would be better. I like that word oneness as both husband and wife are one team which has to succeed against all the odds/challenges in life. Also both have equal role to raise a happy family and should complement each other. I guess not many men find this hub interesting hence I have received lesser male attention than my other hubs. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
LG- Thanks for giving that strong vote of support to Tatjana. You do have a strong mind which inspires many to be open minded and tolerant to so many views/beliefs. Thanks again for stopping by again.
Violet- Yes Relsol1 did make a profound statement. Yes each needs to push the other partner to be better. WOW!! That sounds like a great plan. In Iron Man movie Mr. Stark's house overlooking the ocean in california is such a great place. I hope you find such a place and more ever in this economy house prices are more affordable too. May you both help each other to achieve those goals which are mutually beneficial. Yes, I do agree that having a smart woman who is well educated could provide an additional option and be an advantage as that would accelerate the process of attaining the "good" life that many dream off. I am so happy to hear that you have found in Phil such a wonderful life partner. As Tatjana mentioned about Karma I also would add that you deserve all the good things in life. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
NeedfulThings- I totally agree with you. That is so true when husband and wife are one team then no hardship or challenge would be too difficult to overcome. Thanks for stopping by again.
Natia2105- Yes it is so nice to see such an optimistic opinion about men. Even I have had in general good experiences with men and by no way this one episode changes my opinion about men. I also know that I have to work with the situation as it evolves to make my marriage successful. As they say happiest people are not the people who have the most but they are the ones who make the most of what they have. I will do my best and hopefully my Karma is good to lead me to a happy married life. It is always nice to meet a person with positive experiences. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Hey Countrywoman thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject. I will give a response to your direct questions as appose to the entire article, which incidentally is very well written.
"All I seek is opinions whether men think that women who are dependant on them make for a "better" wife.”
My answer: No – women who are dependent on their men are asking for trouble. Men who strive on such dependency are asking for more trouble. I personally do not think that dependent women make good wives.
“Do some of you think that women who are well educated and who also bring an additional income are somehow having more "ego" hence difficult to deal with?”
My Answer: It depends on several factors. If the woman is insecure and feel that she has to prove her equality with the man then yes, she can be a real challenge. On the other hand, if she is mature and understand her commitment and responsibility as a co-equal in the relationship then she can be a blessing.
“Or neither of these and a strong woman can be an advantage in dealing with so many issues & challenges in life.”
My Answer: There is a fine line between strong and insecure. Some people who project outer strength do so to hide inner insecurities. A truly strong person is also one with great humility. Humility determines the ego. Humility and ego can not co-exist.
I am from a very large family. I have five sisters whom I consider to be very strong and highly educated. Each of them have degrees and are currently married and working in the field of their academic training. Their incomes are equal to or greater than their husbands. They have proven, in my opinion, to be great assets in maintaining the welfare of the family if that responsibility fell squarely on them. They are in a position to maintain themselves if their husbands either died of left. Their independence has also allowed theirs husbands the freedom to be themselve which relieves the burden of total responsibility of the family as the bread winner, decision maker, and problem solver, which often drives men to infidelity.
I grew up in an environment with strong, independent, educated women and I would have it no other way.
Thanks CW for your concern, it is much, much better now. But, I cannot create (visualise) long-term future with him yet... (I did on the beginning, he even proposed me, but we changed the plans afterwards: I did not want to become doormath of his family, and I feel they needed one for their frustrations, but I refused to be one). I did not listen my intuition before moving to Zadar, I got warnings from the Divine...After first shocks (I accept my responsibility:that was my creation ), I did not feel that I should open my heart completely...I think my bf would not know what to do with it. Well, we live in the rented place, share expences, no vows, no ideas of children, complete free will to stay together, or not. I do have my very own part of appartment, and took myself back maximum of privacy back. And enjoy that very, very much. Interesting experience...and blessed one.
I know that every our experience is Divine creation: Divine likes to play and look our soul evolution through our eyes...on so many ways, so many life-stories, so many situations, different views, different lessons to be learned...
My parents are divorced. I was very unhappy because of that. I thought they should stay together. But few years ago, when I got full peception of all reasons for their divorce(big pressure from my father? family and "tradition" killed their marriage, as well as my father did not plan child, he thought that my Mum could not have children), I accepted that as normal part of my Karma, and theirs. It is much better they separeted: they were like two completely different universes, altough they shared a lot of interests. Without influence of families, their relationship WOULD WORK. Interesting, huh?
I hope you will learn something from my story.
Love, Light, and Google ads...as always, of course...
Keep being the strong woman you are and you will find your right man :). Honestly it is very doubtful I will get married at this point, sometimes you just know :). It would be nice, but really I am not banking too much on it. If I did get married I would probably never have kids, but I would only have kids if my husband was financially secure for me to be a stay at home mom so I could raise them. I really do not see myself in this lifestyle at all, but my mom was a stay at home mom and I loved her always being there until I started seventh grade. My sisters on the other hand were pretty little when she started working again, so they do not have the memories of her being at home all the time. It just seems like too much work and stress having to cook, clean, and take care of the kids. Like I told you awhile back I met a guy online and he seemed really nice and wanted to meet me, but I had one reservation about his view on things. He felt that a woman should work full time, cook, clean, be a good mother, take kids to lessons, help with homework, but it did not seem he wanted to do very much. That is good if this set up works for him, but I am not one of those women who can or who would want to do it all. Right then and there that was a deal breaker for me and I decided I did not want to meet him. He was really upset about it and started sending me emails he got from other women, which sort of just creeped me out a little. Do not feel bad about the guy who stopped calling you because his family said you were too independent, see it as a blessing in disguise. It is better you find out how they felt, as opposed to having him go against his families wishes and marry you anyway. Just be who you are and I am sure you will find the "one" soon.
LegendaryN8- I totally echo your statement "talking with women in my age group, they want their opinions to matter, but not necessarily be in charge. They want to know that they are part of a team and being in that team matters". At the end of the day the couple should feel like one team and when we are in one team we(not I) want to win against any odds. It is nice to see that you have such a strong mother that has shaped you into accepting women who possess a strong mind. I am sure nowadays many men think like you do and hopefully even in my case it works out to be the same.Thanks for stopping by.
Jxb7076- WOW!! That is a large family and a great experience. I am glad you had it that way and you like it that way too. Once my father told me that some people who have a superiority complex may actually feel inferiority within themselves but to cover that up they project a superiority complex. I guess one has to be comfortable with the image one has of oneself. I agree with your opinions especially about the part about being Humble and having ego. But also sometimes it happens, maybe not with the same person or when faced with the same situation. It is after all as you mentioned a fine line when one is strong (mostly a positive trait) and when one is arrogant (not a positive trait). I have met one woman at work who was extremely competitive (and neither us nor the men liked her around). So finally it is a balancing act to react think positively and react appropriately in every situation in life. Having positive role models in childhood like yours also certainly helps a lot in shaping a personality. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Tatjana- That is nice to hear. Well I am no relationship expert as I have hardly known guys in this way although I have always had them as nice friends. I just feel someone in any relationship has to take the initiative. If each one feels why should I take that extra effort or go that extra mile then things may become a little different. But then this is totally based on my limited personal experience.
It must have been difficult to live in a relationship where parents are not getting along. Some people never get used to each other even after spending a long time together. My father when he used to go for Ty(temporary) duties out of town and when he used to call us then he would say that he is so used to mom's snoring that he can't sleep without her besides him (then we would joke back that maybe he should record that sound and playback when he is alone during those outstation trips)...LOL. Thanks for the love, light and money (oh yes we all can do with a little extra cash)....hehe
SweetiePie- Well it is a big personal decision if you don't want to have kids but I understand that you feel so responsible and don't want to venture into that unless you are absolutely ready for it. I personally love kids and want to give them a great life filled with universal values, love and happiness. It is certainly not an easy task to raise kids but at the end of the day very satisfying. My mother told me that when I was born she forgot all the pain when she first time looked at me. Life for her took on a whole new meaning from that time on.
Well I don't know what to say to this as for some issues we may agree that men do change over a period of time and maybe a little extra effort needs to be done. Again it depends on each individuals priority too and sometimes we may not get all that we need in a relationship but if we do get the most important ones then others can be worked on. Again it is totally my personal opinion and even I have to deal with the same situation in life. I know I don't feel sad in anyway (after all over one week the whole thing happened what is there to feel sad about). Well as I told you that I believe in Karma and it was never meant to be to begin with. I still do have a positive opinion about men in general and actually a somewhat positive opinion about that person too(really I hold no grudge against him). I have a lot of faith and hopefully we all get our Mr.Right soon. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
CW2, I haven't had a chance to read this hub yet... but I will. Promise.
Right now I just want answer your title question: YES!!!!
CW,
Sorry, I don't mean to sound like your mom but once a mom.....
I just don't think you should change YOU in order to fit into a relationship. Sounds like you have the right idea about finding a guy from your culture who is a bit more enlightened as to how a more modern Indian marriage might work. I'm still feeling that you're on the right track because you're thinking it through before you jump into anything; obviously from the divorce rate here, lots of people don't !
Madison
ConstantWalker- Thanks for visiting and hope you get to read the article completely. I am glad to see that emphatic Yes and hope to see you back shortly.
Madison- It so nice to see you back. I am sorry if I shouldn't have mentioned that. I just hope that things work out for me. I will update you further in this regard shortly in a email. Thanks for stopping by.
My advice CW is to be yourself, any man would love you then. If they feel threatened by you, it is unlikely they are the right man for you. If you have to think about what to do and say around them, then imagine what it would be like after you married them if you had to do this for the rest of your life, (even if that were possible). My ex and I split up largely because he was a male chauvenist pig who told other people I was "very intelligent, too intelligent in fact", and he told me he "needed a more subserviant woman". I reckon he just got frustrated that I wouldn't let him control me or bully me. Thank God we did split up, as I would have been miserable as hell if I had ever married him.
For me men do not like women who has srong mind because it may cause quarrel between them. Intelligent women tend to control men if they are more mature and intelligent .
Yep, I am with Cindy 100% :)
Be yourself, you don't need to attract a man that is not your match :)
Misty- Thanks sister for telling me to be me. That was sad to know that you had a bad experience. I guess if someone feels insecure than they react in that way. I have seen sometimes when a husband accepts his wife even if she is more intelligent then the couple's relationship survives as there are no ego clashes. I hope I get around to so many issues when I have to deal with them. I just want to have a good lasting relationship without having to go through so much pain like you and many others have gone through. Thanks for giving me support sister.
Vixx- I guess you are mentioning a few specific instances where it may happen. Ego clashes can happen anytime and "intelligent" woman if they are intelligent enough know what issues/arguments can be relationship breakers hence will try to watch out for those signals to correct them. Control can be good or bad but the essential point is when the husband and wife are in one team then individual ego shouldn't have as much say as much as the team desire to win. Thanks for stopping by.
Misha- I know you always agree with beautiful woman(especially with a woman like Cindy who has both beauty plus brains)..LOL
Yes I will try not to change although Change seems to be the flavor of the season with the new incumbent Obama Presidency..hehe
CW the issues of a strong mind, income earning and other similar issues are totally irrelevant as ideally, it is love, attraction, chemistry, friendship, common interests, sharing the the things you both like which will ultimately make a good marriage. If of course, an arranged marraiage is on the cards this could be somewht problematical. Ideally we marry for a lifetime and believe that is a long time. My first marriage lasted 34 years. The story of this in one of my hubs.
I think stay as you are.
Interesting hub, posing interesting questions.
Sixtyorso- WOW!! That is certainly a nice perspective which is slightly different too. But on a deeper level even friendships or love suffers when they do have ego issues. I personally feel that everything that you said and somethings that I have mentioned combined together make for a lasting happy marriage. Yes that is true in my scenario I would put it as "love by arrangement" but it has so far worked for many of my cousins and hopefully will work for me too. Yes I did read that hub and it was so sad to hear of a woman doing that. And you brought the other side of the story too where woman can also be responsible for break up of marriage. Yes I have received that positive message from so many well meaning friends over here. Thanks I will try to be me(not that it is a very difficult though)..LOL
Seriously, man or woman, character-wise, we‘re all sort of different; some like their women/men strong and others prefer the opposite. Just like Misha said, some men get scared of competition and ‘am the man’ talk becomes an everyday sing-song. On the other hand, some women grow very big egos and develop the ‘nagging wife’ syndrome. The best thing is to be yourself, and you will most likely meet someone who will love you for who you are. The bottom line in any relationship is love, compatibility and compromise.
OK, finally got to read this in its entirety. I think any woman should run, not walk, from a man who even hints that she is too storng. This speaks volumes about the so-called man. His own self-esteem and self-confidence are low. He is not looking for a wife, a partner, a friend, an equal. He's looking for a domestic servant, and will very possibly evolve into abusive. Again, run do not walk!
But then, an independant woman with a healthy ego and a strong mind doesn't need me to tell her this.
Pricelessway- I couldn't agree with you more. As you have rightly pointed out both are extremes i.e., ( ‘am the man’ or ‘nagging wife’). I totally agree with you that for a successful relationship it needs to be full of love, compatibility and compromise. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
ConstantWalker- Glad that you could finally stop by. I was actually laughing when you said run since you are a "walker"..hehe. Well said and I hope my Mr.Right turns out to be similar to what you have mentioned. Your advice and suggestions are always welcome (is there something like too much of a good thing?)..hehe
I voted for YES and I mean it :)
i believe that confident men want a strong women.
Not according to my personal experience...
Weblog- Thanks for the emphatic yes. I am glad you could stop by and comment.
SingleMama- I guess it depends on the couple too. If a man is ok with whatever he is and the wife is ok with that then even those relationships work. Ultimately both are in the same team to win against the battle of life.
ConstantWalker- I knew you would say that...hehe. I can never have too much of Macadamia nuts. Now you can say I am nuts about nuts. Thanks for stopping by again to clarify :-)
Hey CW - A thought - In Judeo-Christian circles, Proverbs 31 is considered the ideal of feminity. I will note that the woman described in Proverbs 31 is nothing like the Romanized western "kitchen slave" that some men seem to think is thier birth-right, and some women seem to think is right as well.
The woman in Proverbs 31 is an entreprenure, a real estate manager, a manufacturing consultant and a service industry supervisor. She is considered wise, intelligent, loyal and virtuous and is loved and respected by her husband and children.
Any man would be honored to have such a wife.
Bdazzler- Actually I feel so many times people use religion to suit as per their convenience(when it is inconvenient ignore those laws). By saying this I am not pointing fingers at any religion. I feel a woman who is respected and loved will go out of her way to do everything for her family(I have seen many woman in my family including my mom). But when the same woman is told in a authoritative way or by way of religious texts (fear of God) then it sometimes backfires. I hope you don't take my words wrongly. It is totally my personal opinion which is not pertaining to any religion but about what I feel is the way a woman should be treated.
I understand, and I agree. That's why the bible actually says that women be respected, and people who misuse scripture to disrespect women are wrong.
Macadamia nuts are good for you. No such thing as too much. I wonder if I could find chocolate-covered macadamia nuts...
-BDazzler, noted.
Bdazzler- That is so nice to hear when a true practitioner like you feels that way. May God bless you with a life partner who will be truly blessed to have such a nice man for a spouse. Amen.
ConstantWalker- Now you are overdoing it. Ok then I will have to come out with an alternative saying: Too much of something is good for nothing...hehe. Btw I might have to break all my resolutions to watch my weight if I started on those Macadamia nuts chocolates. One of my office colleagues when she came back from Hawaii got me those Macadamia Nut chocolates about an year ago and since then I have been hooked to these nuts(which I bought from costco recently when they were available).
C Walkcer - I knew an this guy - professional student always going for the Phd - and now that I think about it he was a messy eater, and when he ate Hershy bars, he could aboslutly be called a Chocolate covered Academia Nut.
-CW2, I've definitely got to get me some of those!
_BDazzler, that was stretch, obscenely corny, but made me checkle - so I'll give you a long-distance fist bump.
Bdazzler- Now that is literally being a "sweet" guy...LOL
CW1- I hope you do check them out and they also have those roasted almonds from Blue Diamonds which are amazing too. I guess all this talk of food makes me go grab a handful of those munchies now..hehe
Great HUb - Personally I love a strong minded woman... the key in my mind re: a relationship is they need to be partners and not projects. Thus they need to work together on common goals while allowing enough freddom to be individuals. Partners with each other not projects to each other as I see so often.
I'm looking for a strong minded partner now...LOL
A man who doesn't want a strong, independant, and intelligent woman -- isn't worth your time. That's just my opinion though. Lots of good advice here, one of the best was "just be yourself."
Neil- WOW!! That is such a unique view. I never thought anybody thought of each other as projects instead of as partners. I do hope good guys don't finish last and you find your partner soon....LOL
Jerilee- I meant this hub in general but yes personally for me I would like someone to respect me for what and who I am. Yes I did get a lot of advice and I am glad that I wrote this hub. Thanks for stopping by.
I was just reading your comment regarding my comment the other day, and I think you mistook a few things I said. Maybe you think I have a negative view towards men, but that is not what I meant. Oh well, just wanted to share that. What I meant was I refuse to compromise if the situation is not to my liking at all. The way I see it in my own personal life is I can fulfill all my own needs, and what I have seen from men I have dated out there so far is they would only require more work than I am interested in.
SweetiePie- I was just addressing about your personal decision about Kids. I know you have a very positive opinion about men. Don't worry I don't have any negative opinion about you. You will always be a sweetiepie for me..hehe
I did not think you were thinking I was negative per sae, but thought maybe my comment came across as negative. That was all I meant :).
No worries my friend. Btw I was just looking at the email you sent to the group. Do you want us to respond back to it?
Oh sorry, I accidentally included your email, did not mean to. I was just trying to send that to a few people in my email that are not on hubpages. You can disregard it.
Thanks for the clarification.
countrywomen, your question was do men like women with strong minds?
Was it a Freudian slip that you called him a "boy"
My short answer is , yes I like some women with strong minds but I also like some women with minds that are not so strong. In fact there is not too many women that I don't like. The Question is a little too general for me to answer correctly.
Now as far as marriage goes I feel that people of today appear to be in too big a hurry to get married. Its not like buying a motor car!
In my opinion if the couple in question followed the old "rules", eg, wooing ,courting, engagement period and then marriage. A compatability would be achieved to a mutual satisfaction. (or not). In other words get to know each others good/bad points before reaching a point of no return!
Sorry to be so long winded. :-[)
Well it is the way the parents see us sometimes. They may consider us as "boy" and "girl"(in fact my mother tells me that I am girl till I become a mother)..LOL
Yes it is true that these things can't be generalized and each individual has a different personality. Some can be very intelligent and knowledgeable without much ego whereas others may not be so and yet have a higher ego.
Well actually in our culture they think it is the opposite and people are taking too long to get married these days...hehe. And yes in arranged marriages there isn't too much of courtship period in general(it is a little complicated process not well understood in other cultures).
It doesn't matter whether it is arranged or love marriage as both should have a point of no return(totally my idealistic personal opinion here)..hehe.
Don't worry I long for long conversations :-)
Compromise, Respect and Love has done me proud for the last 13 years. Heres to the next 50. Nice Hub BTW
countrywomen, I am the first to admit not understanding your culture of selecting spouses, but can you tell me if every marriage in India is decided this way or can a woman choose who she wishes to marry? If so is it regarded in a bad way?
I really like the women with strong mind , they can survive on there own without depedency , even if i die
It's a great topic you started here, I really like the way you put it.
There must no problem for men to like a strong minded women. But unfortunately it's not the case, in most cases anyway.
NDBEES- Those 3(Compromise, Respect and Love) are some great aspects. If both the partners adhere to them then it may result in long happy married life for 50 more years as per your desire.
Agvulpes- Not all marriages are arranged and a person isn't looked down upon if they tend to choose for themselves (one of my cousin brother had a love marriage and we are all very happy with her). It may have more to do with the adjustment factor as food, language, religion and culture are difficult things to adjust in the long run. More ever there is support from the elders like parents, relatives and others in the community. Each system has a unique way of working for that particular society. Thanks for stopping by again "Mate" :-)
07knew- You almost made me have a tear in my eye. That is such a noble intention. I am sure your spouse would be so lucky when you are thinking so much about her well being. Thanks a lot for stopping by. Glad to meet you.
LoveGuruLady- Well there are men who like women with strong minds (at least I have met them). But then what do I know (I need to learn tips from the "love guru")..hehe
In my experience they all claim to but once it is there woman than no they don't.
Hi CW, I think there are both men who appreciate a strong woman and those who do not. I feel that the men who appreciate a strong mind are comfortable with themselves and are confident in their own abilities. The men I met that were not smitten with intelligence and strong opinions typically ended up being insecure about themselves. I also noticed that some men are only attracted to strong women for a challenge...not a good thing in itself. Anyway, excellent hub! :)
Erick- What you say does ring a bell but there are surely many guys who appreciate a woman with strong mind. I don't have any statistical survey to prove one way or another. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Ardie- Yes that is true there will always be many people having different opinions about this. Well I guess those guys who want to be challenged all the time must be really tough to keep up with but I am sure there lives would never be boring...LOL
hi how are you
Ardie. I think that's true. I couldn't comment on the "strong woman for a challenge" aspect... that seems weird to me, but I know it's fun to have a good debate (spirited but civil) with an intelligent woman.
Dharam31- I am fine and how about you? Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
CW1- I have seen many movies where the guys like to have lots of challenging discussions with their partners. Sometimes in forums when some people are having a go at each other then I feel maybe they want to to have the last word during such conversations. Now here clearly the conversation is challenging but at the same time can be a ego bruising experience too(which isn't a nice side effect). Thanks for stopping by again.
I couldn't be with a "weak-minded" man nor could I be with a man who doesn't want a strong woman. That being said, we all have different strengths and there are times in our lives when we don't feel as strong as other times. When you partner together to complement one another's strengths and support one another when one is feeling more vulnerable, then you have true strength as a couple. Just my two cents. Thanks for starting a great discussion CW.
Cindy- That is true nobody is completely weak or strong and it is a matter of our own perception. For example if someone doesn't fight (both physically or verbally) could be considered as "weak" but certain times it takes a "strong" person to forgive. I also totally share your view that each partner needs to complete the other and together they are one team against all the challenges in life. Thanks for stopping by and glad you liked this discussion.
Yes
Thanks for answering my question. I guess you talk less and listen more. Thanks for stopping by.
behind my success as a corporate company's divisional manager my wife is my encourager & all encourage for fruitfull life is devotion of my wife
The issue with asking the questions you pose in your article is that people think one thing but really want something else. Yes, I agree that most people want a strong mind. A strong mind being someone who can dictate their own life without having to be told what to do. Or someone who can make their own decisions because they know what they want in life. I agree that most people want someone who can hold a conversation for longer than 2 minutes.
Now here is where the misconception comes in, most people thinks that having a strong mind means being abrupt to others when asked any question. Or not having your “authority” questioned after you make a decision. This type of behavior is thought of as having a strong mind. No one wants to be pushed around.
Hi Countrywomen, I don't want a man who wants me to a be a "yes" woman. In the role that I have as the eldest in the family, in the grandchildren, as head of a preschool, I am very used to taking on the role of having to make decisions and deal with a lot of responsibilities. And yet I can be supportive and listen quite well too :-) I feel many get intimidated by that. LOL I enjoyed reading this hub and all the other comments that ensued thereafter. :-)
Check it out; you're on the first page of the "Hot" list!
Suman- I am so happy that you attribute your success to your wife. May she continue to bring you lots of success and happiness. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
six9k9- What you have mentioned could also be true as there are so many people so many different types of people would be there. That's why I feel not just intellectual quotient but also the emotional quotient makes a person strong. Just have intelligence doesn't make person realize when, where and how to act. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Ripplemaker- I know what you mean. Some times people assume that somebody who is very knowledgeable may have an attitude which could be putting off others around them. But my mom was a strong woman(used to take up social services as a lawyer) at the same time one of the most gentle and patient persons. I know for sure that you would be a good listener. You are a wonderful person so full of life, laughter and happiness. I am sure it is an absolute delight for others to be around you. Palam.
CW1- Thanks for informing me. I will go and check now. Btw I never knew of your hidden talents until yesterday. You truly are a remarkable man. Musician, Interior decorator, scientist, nutritionist, fitness instructor and so on. Please continue to amaze me.
The hub attracts much more discussions and debates. There are lot more variations from men to men and woman to woman. Men always like women with strong intellect. Women always like honesty and reliability from men. But most often men are offended if they are overtaken by intelligent women. Women are offended if the men is not reliable. This kind of likes and dislikes exist in our society. However both are mutually dependent on each other. Thank you for the thought provoking HUB.
Muthusamy- When you say "Men always like women with strong intellect" that seems to be a generalization. And also about woman too. I guess what you are saying from your particular view point for a long term relationship what would be ideal qualities to look for from each other. I totally agree both need to complement each other for a sustainable happy relationship. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
CW.. Great hub - great comments - great and thoughtful replies on your part. I like strong women who can be loving and giving, too.
Joseph- Thanks for the appreciation. I like men like you who respect woman. I personally feel mind and heart aren't mutually exclusive as some seem to believe. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
CountryWomen Thanks for sharing your story. I am still single and looking for some strong girl because she can be really very supportive for me.
Jawad UK- I am sure you will find a good girl who will be supportive and be there for you forever. Thanks for stopping by and commenting
I voted yes ,because difficulties in life require person to be strong enough to compete the difficulties that may face,so woman with strong mind is really abig gift from God that each man must wish her
Noor Tony- Thanks for your valuable vote. Yes a strong woman surely would be a supportive wife and be an asset to her spouse in all walks of life. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
There is nothing worse than talking to anyone whose is daffy. Some guys think a woman who is brain dead and does everything they say is great. I prefer a woman who knows what she wants and sticks to her guns. In todays world you need a strong man and woman working as a team to survive.
A woman should never be influenced by mis-directed thinking. Be strong in mind and in character. After all, the beauty is within.
A woman with strong mind... I think it will help the man through the journey of their marriage. That's why when a man choose a woman, not just physical, something like this will affect so many too...
Robert- I couldn't agree with you more. Husband and wife are one team as equal partners. As long as they are thinking and feeling like that then no matter what the challenges in life they will get over it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Steps2Freedom- Misdirected thinking isn't appropriate in any relationship. I agree with you that the strength of character, emotional and intellectual abilities are internal in nature. If one likes those attributes in each other then those relationship would have a very good future. Thanks for stopping by.
FunFacter- Yes it affects everybody as one team they may have children, stay along with neighbors, have friends and family. As a team they have to have good relationships with so many people around them all the time. Thanks for stopping by.
I think there are men who appreciate a strong woman one who can stand on her own two feet and be independent.
Then there are those men who feel the need to find woman who are weaker then them in order for them to look like the strong one.I think these are men who were brought up in certain cultures that woman are below the man and therefore should be less educated.That they are meant to stay in the home have children and tend to his husbands needs.
I have found in my own experience that men can be intimidated by strong woman.I am a strong woman myself and am single now.I was married then divorced but not for the reasons of being a strong woman,In fact my ex was all for woman doing guys things and being in control and having a say in things.
Since then though I have found men who lose interest in me because I have a strong personality and speak my mind and choose to handle things on my own.I am a woman who likes to be pretty and nice but I am a woman who doesn't mind being a grease monkey and getting my hands dirty.I don't just sit back and say I can't do this I need a man to do it for me.Or I'm afraid I can't get dirty or act stupid just to get a man attracted to me.That may be why I'm still single!
But I think it is important for a woman today to be strong to depend on no one but herself whether they are with a man or not.Because if that man in your life ever decides to leave you have to have the backbone to move on (you can survive without him).
A man will never fill that void or fill the need.You can love a man but be who you are and always protect yourself.I believe you never really know someone no matter how long you have been with them.Life and love relationships you take chances be smart about it and protect yourself first.
Be that strong woman you draw strong people around you and hopefully men who will appreciate that in their life.
Hi. What I'm gonna say may be a little off from your question. But I think the man that was set up for you didn't really have a say. It was what his family wanted. He was just going along with their decision.
SolaceMoon- You had a very tough experience. You are right there is no hard and fast rule about what works and what doesn't. I am also with you that any sort of dependence may not be conducive for a happy long term relationship. As far as cultures are concerned things are changing all over the world and hopefully things would pan out for the better for woman. I am sure you will find your soul mate very soon. Btw I just checked out your hub about Emzy's music and it is great. Thanks for stopping by.
BeatsMe- You could be right too. I don't really think about it too much these days. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Have a great day.
Because those guys are single minded... sex is the only thing on their mind. So a strong minded woman is an impossible situation for them.
Hubber-2009,
That could be one of the consideration but I feel not the only consideration. I think there are many men who do like woman who have strong mind(at least I hope they do). Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Have a great day.
nice hub me too think most men like strong mind woman but some feel insecure
Seema- I guess it depends on the individual and differs from person to person. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Glad you liked this hub and thanks for commenting.
I loved that story about your road trip (especially “snake marriage” advantages). Do you (or are you going to) have a hub about life made jokes?
Men will never admit that they are weak. I personally always wanted to be weak and dependable on a strong shoulder. Life wouldn’t let me…
I’ll agree with NDBEES- Compromise, Respect and Love will do the miracle. Be yourself and yours will not pass you. My son made me strong. My life is clearly divided for me on “before my son” and “after I got him”. My single life was always full of friends, volunteering, activities. But it lacked a purpose. And sometimes I felt lonely and worthless.The birth of my son put everything in places. Life got all new meaning for me, I knew what I was living for. It didn’t matter any more that my ex was good only as a nice genes stock. Now that my son is 21, I can proud myself that I did a good job. All by myself. It gives me the best satisfaction and I don’t feel lonely or worthless any more, no matter now life treats meBut still I would like to be a weak woman….
ReuVera- I don't have too many jokes that would universally appeal to everyone or can be shared in a public forum for some of them may affect the sensibilities of some of the readers even. I know what you mean about men being weak. Even when my brother would be genuinely crying for a valid reason as a child he would be admonished by my mom to stop crying like a girl which sometimes makes them think that it is wrong for men to cry when it isn't. I totally can relate to that leaning on a strong shoulder as even I used to read Mills&Boon(and pretty romantic at heart). Even I would like someone whom I would love and respect for the rest of my life on whose shoulders I can lean on also whose warm hug relieves me from all worries. It is a very genuine emotion but it will have to wait for marriage to the right person.
You really did have a tough life but then single handedly you raised such a wonderful son. It does parents (in this case you) proud when there kids grow up to responsible adults. I do hope life gives you the happiness that you seek. Have a great day. Glad to meet a "strong woman" and thanks for commenting here.
wow its such a nice story about a traditional indian girl.i really appriciate you and feel so sorry for that indian guy that what ever he has done to you, but the things you have shared here is really very nice.thanx a lot.
Britney- That is ok. We hardly met and just spoke to each other a few times hence I don't feel anything about it. I am sure he must have had his reasons and I wish him the best for his future. Thanks for liking this part of my life. Have a great day.
In my experience, most men say they do like a woman with a strong mind but they don't, not really. They only say that to beautiful women because they know that is what the women want to hear, but you don't see those men chasing after brilliant, opinionated homely women. Plus, when their beauties start to argue with them they get irritated and are on to the next one.
A man who is your best friend before he is your lover will always want you to have a strong mind of your own, because he respects you and loves who you are. A more mature man can handle a strong woman too, but even there, many don't, preferring to chase after 20 year olds until they can barely wobble at a snail's pace. It's pathetic, really.
Find a man who likes you for you and set aside the generalizations. That's all you really need--Someone who thinks the sun rises and sets on your butt. Find that and you can be as weak or strong as you need to be and he'll stay by you.
"A man who is your best friend before he is your lover will always want you to have a strong mind of your own, because he respects you and loves who you are. A more mature man can handle a strong woman too, but even there, many don't, preferring to chase after 20 year olds until they can barely wobble at a snail's pace. It's pathetic, really."
They don't have to be older, though. My other half and I were the best of mates before we started going out (and I was always an opinionated, stubborn, back-of-a-bus-looking kinds gal) and he was 19 then. I was the 20 year old he chased after!
I voted in your poll. And quite frankly, it depends on the audience. For the first 10 years of marriage, I earned more than my husband. Neither one of us minded, but I still kind of worried about the "male ego." With 4 children, I had to cut back on my career eventually. It was a relief in a lot of ways to have a "transition of power." I never doubt my own smarts or the strength of my mind (neither does my hubby). But not all women are as fortunate. Great hub - I really enjoyed it!
CW-I'm just coming across this hub.
I would reiterate what Pam said. Most SAY they like strong, intelligent women, but what I have found is that it needs to be their version of it. The beauty thing also comes into play--or should I say attraction. Of course then they are more likely to say they prefer strong, if the object of their desire is strong.
In my experience (and sorry to be a little cynical) what men really want is someone smart and strong, but not AS strong or smart as they are. When you go along in a relationship, you'll see there is competition, a battle of wills, etc. It isn't all cooperation and love--maybe this is particularly true of American men, I don't know.... And when YOU aren't 'a less than,' they have a tendency to want to make you so.
I've simply decided that nothing is perfect. And I absolutely couldn't do it like one of my sisters does--look for weaker men, because she is pretty and thinks she can control them. That would bore me.
Pam- Well the part about beauty intrigues me since it has often been the topic of discussion. Men may say things to get a beautiful woman and woman may have used beauty to their advantage. We once had a girl who was very good looking for a Job interview but she just wasn't qualified and it really rankled me when my colleague (guy) wanted her to be in the team (when for every question she didn't have an answer she would just keep throwing that fake smile of hers). It is a double edged sword and can cut both ways for those who are very beautiful.
Yes you are right about some guys when they ask for others opinion they just are seeking for more people who agree with them. And any disagreements are taken way too personally.
I love that great piece of advice be what I am and if someone like me for that then I can become what ever I want to be. Yes as ReuVera was mentioning I do want to have a strong man on whose shoulders I can lean on for the rest of my life. Thanks a lot for stopping by and giving the great piece of advice. I would say that you are nice device to give wise advice.
LondonGirl- You are very lucky to have a wonderful relationship and may it continue forever. Yes some men do seem to like woman who maybe more mature (physically/emotionally/intellectually) than them. I remember when in India Sachin Tendulkar married his wife who was four years elder to him then it was a topic for discussion. When I was 20 I found some of the guys of my age were still not as mature as the girls in some matters (now I have put myself in a tight situation)...LOL
StephHicks68- WOW!! That is really nice to know that you have a great marriage going. Life can be so wonderful when we don't put our ego in the relationship(where the unhealthy power struggle may take place). In today's day and age we never know when the axe may fall(layoff) on us hence it is practical that both husband and wife be in one team to face all the life's challenges. I guess even I think similarly that we should be able to deal with the situation if it is more practical to be a stay at home mom so be it. Thanks for sharing your fortunate experiences in life.
Lita- Yes that is the reason why sometimes some woman lower there own "strength" so that some guys may not be too intimidated by them. I have met many good American men with strong wives hence I don't know if I would totally agree with you on this and even Stephhicks experience has been positive in life. There are all kinds of men/women relationships. Well in fact some may get bored if they don't control there men...LOL
Kapil030786- Lita's comment earlier was nice and I don't know why you would like to post it under your name. Btw I have received earlier communication from you and would greatly appreciate if you don't put unrelated links in the comments.
From my experience, alot of men may say they want a strong woman but when given the opportunity..SOME..not ALL are a little intimidated. Of course for various reasons. I feel as most here have said.
A STRONG MAN..wants A STRONG WOMAN because they make a team. He is stable and secure in who He is and He also is there to be that support to the woman and vice versa.
GReAT HUB!
Beside every strong man is a strong woman. Good partners strengthen each other when and where it's needed.
I find women with strong minds very appealing. Another turn on for me is women that are independent.
Eyes2YourSoul- Those are really words of wisdom. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Die'Dre'- Yes that is very true both complement each other well. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
PoppaBlues- Glad to meet someone who likes women with strong minded and independent. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
CW-Well, I'm not traditionally married, and would not want to be. That might be part of the caveat. I'm also relatively driven to make my mark on the world & am attracted to the same kind of man, and I think for us, the way is more difficult (it isn't about happiness--its kind of a balance between togetherness & will--complex).
Incidentally, I did have a relationship with I'd say, a less driven/less strong man, and it didn't end up so well. I accepted him, however, he became jealous/threatened in a way, threatened to have an affair, and later married a girl 12 years younger than him with much less education and who had a baby right away.
Us artistic freak types may just be blessed/doomed to have intense existences. (I actually wouldn't want it any other way.)
hi its not abt strong minded woman .As a boy if i see a woman i ll see her physical attribute first.the man who are saying they like strong minded woman is totally wrong.its by chance that u get woman who gets into strong mind.Even every man needs a seducive girl.........horney.may be simple but in bed strong in sex...after facing financial issues only this unnecessary logics come into picture....may for woman the situation is different.........but man wants a woman with 36-24-36.thats only the truth..ask in ur blog u ll get ur answer.....
Hi countrywomen,
I think some men do like strong, independent and intellectual women. Because they want intellectual challenges from their partner. We cannot generalize anything. Majority of men who have a traditional upbringing and are some what male chauvinistic. They love vulnerable and submissive women who can play the role of an obedient wife. I feel it's unfair to generalize anything when each man is born different.
I guess most men are afraid of women having a strong mind.
Interesting! I just read your article but I purposely did not go through the comments. I didn't want to post a comment with a prejudiced mind.
So you are getting there. Seems you've had the first encounter. LOL
As for my opinion is concerned, I will try to make it short and crisp.
Men sometimes don't know themselves what they want. They are a totally confused breed as far as chosing a woman (as a life partner) is concerned. Men generally gets attracted to smart women (with intellect) and when they bring such women in their lives, they expect them to be make the minimal use of that 'intellect' which had been the prime reason for admiration in the pre-nuptial phase. I hope I don't have to explain further how it leads to passive aggression in men after marriage. Thx for sharing.
Lita- Thanks for sharing so much information. I guess it depends on the acceptance levels of different families/societies about the relationship decisions one takes in life. I am sure you have taken the decision that works best for you. Yes sometimes our personal goals may not align with our roles in the family/society and it takes a really brave woman to take a stance at such times. And if one is prepared to face the music but still be happy internally then such people need to be admired (I personally would like to achieve as much as possible staying with in the accepted norms of family/society but that is just me). Thanks for stopping by and sharing so much about yourself. I am glad you could visit this hub. Bye take care.
Satya- I never deny that the physical aspect isn't important. But it can't be the only thing that is important there are other things besides physical i.e., emotional, intellectual and spiritual aspects which need to be considered. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Webofusion- You are right and this hub was written to elicit the views about men in general. As many people are there so many views would be there. I am sure there are many men who admire woman who are strong. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Anjali- It can hardly be considered an encounter (at least when I know a person for less than a week)...hehe. Well about the confused part I am not sure if it is only men as even we women maybe confused sometimes about what we really want. I guess idealistic perceptions or looking at individuals through rose glasses before marriage changes once the couple are married. I feel more realistic expectations may lead to better marriages but then it is totally my personal perception. Thanks for stopping by and sharing this personal insight.
'Realistic expectations!' I have heard this term so often that it has lost it's meaning now. I'm sure people who have treaded in that arena would understand what I am trying to say. Once you start sharing your life with someone (speaking for both men & women) and spend your days and nights with that person, it's kind of hard to bind your expectations within the parameters of being 'Realistic'. You tend to go overboard sometimes and that's pretty natural. Expecting 'realistic expectations ' in a relationship sounds quite 'unrealistic' when it comes to actually living together as a married couple.
CW-I understand what you are saying--to some extent. As an American, I pretty much am in the norm of society, I'd say, now. This wasn't sharing anything more than I haven't already said elsewhere.
Might I also tell you the 'weak' guy was from a traditional society--he was Georgian. Those kind of caught between two cultures will have difficulty fitting into two societies. This is one of the reasons why the women's movement, after all, occured.
Appreciate your comments, Anjali. I think you are honest and that is always best.
Thx Lita Sorensen. I was born this way (honest & brave). I suppressed these qualities for major part of my life but realized it one day that it wasn't worth it. I learnt to put aside my fears and speak my mind. Thx for appreciating me for what I am.
Okay.. It was a difficult yet interesting time reading all opinions and I voted for "maybe" option, CW. While reading your hub, I was wearing a sarcastic smile and thoughtful mind. Men don't like woemn with strong mind, rather they love today. However, there are still many who'd take it to their manly ego if the lady happen to be intellectually and spiritually better than a man. They may definitely get attracted initially, but sooner or later, they may quit (I don't know they run away from girl or their own manhood... Damnn). I've faced many such pretty bad exeriences where men get attracted towards me because of what I'm. But they give up.. not because I'm little stubborn or silly at time but because they find me too strong and independant to bear. Needless to say, am having enough issues in getting a decent match as almost every guy wants me quit everything I've achieved so far (eeekk.. my name too..lol) and be a complete housewife :p. Not possible for me as I'd love to make (at least try) a good balance between personal and professional life.
It's a pleasure to meet men who respect and accept women wit and I often meet many. But somewhere, they take strong women competing their ego. I wonder why don't they take it a value plus factor :p. This is a truly debatable topic and I've already read awesome opinions above.
As a romantic, it has always been my hope to find a girl that I truly admire. Not just strong in personality and intellect, but strong emotionally and confident. Don't worry, someone will eventually appreciate you for your strength. Great post!
Anjali- Thanks for your comments. Even I join Lita in appreciating you. Maybe in a few years down the line when I write from my own experiences in married life my views would be acknowledged too.
Lita- I can't speak for all but in my case I would prefer someone as close to my background as possible as then it would be easier to adjust for both of us in the long run. Thanks for your comments.
ChillingBreeze- Good luck on finding a "strong man" who appreciates a "strong woman". I am sure you will find your Mr.Right soon and who will accept you for whatever you are. Thanks for stopping by.
Benjimester- Yes many guys do admire "strong" woman but sometimes the woman they admire may not be the one they would like to be married to. Again it differs from person to person. Thanks for your good wishes. And thanks for appreciating this hub.
dear country women
greetings to your attitude.
that this hub has so many response itself is testimony that men and women both like strong minded women
as you rightly pointed out what is strength??
for a woman weakenss is her strength and for a male strength is his weakness
women are emotionally not weak but insecure because they predict that they are going to undergo multiple transitions-from tom boy attitude to a shy girl after puberty,then a eligible girl, then a bride ,then a young wife ,then a caring mother ,then a family maker, then a harbinger of peace in domestic quarrels
if she is able to do all this do we think she is strong-NO
if she is able to survive in an unexpected crisis than these expected ones then only she is strong
women understand that materialistic signficance is important and will see through these crisis that is why they prefer finacially secure male (at least he will give his purse if not a thought or solution)
women also understand that its love that makes the world go around and so they like romance and shower love
the whole problems come in when women complicates education and position as strength .these are parameters applicable to the man's world not to the world in general because every civilisation perishes with male wars and egos and families perishes because of women possesiveness and love battles.
if a lady has like a man - education,power , position and attire ,then the current society complicates the issue by saying they are women of strength.
(let us leave out character and moral issues of either sex because they complicate even more)
a well educated lady not marrying or not bearing kids and going to the next stage is not power. it is weakness.because she is insecure that marriage and parentage will make her weak.
what men want or who is strong -is a lady who can balance her virtues of women and family and education immaterial of the power and the position she holds.
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control-once power education position comes in ,instead of the characteristic trait of possessivenes and love -the phenomenon of control comes in. who controls whom (male controls female or female controls male)-it is an ego battle.
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these are points for discussion.in general males welcome a thinking women i suppose.i am married to to a thinking woman.-when a lady can think the male can share a joke and discuss issues and argue and convey hs point at times-when a lady is not educated and thinking then he has to tickle her funny bone to make her happy and ends up as a clown
it is actually depends on the man himself, some like women with weak mind and like women with strong mind, i personaly like woman win strong mind
i guess it depends on the man - any guy with class will appreciate a woman with a brain!
CW, you are, obviously, intelligent and well-meaning. Remember that one can not please all of the people they come into contact with. In the pesence of strength, intentions can be misconstrued, and insecurities are often revealed in many people. From some of your "Hubs" that I have read, it is clear that you are struggling to find acceptance between two worlds. It is also clear that you have a warm heart, and a strong mind. In todays society, it is almost an anomaly to find such, overwhelmingly prominent, qualitities in any one person. You are a gem, it seems. Just be, and many good things will gravitate towards you. In my travels, I have seen many marks confirming the ideal of Karma. You should have nothing but positive things to look forward to. These things will not come because you have been void of mistakes, but because your intentions have been just. To ask the difference of morals compared to ethics will only leave you with the question remaining unanswered. It is not affected by debate, it is a truth that lies within the inquirer. Questions of such nature are rhetorical... You already know the answer, and it is your own personal truth. Also, it is my belief that a person should not be judged by where they have been or by what they have done. That often tends to be circumstantial. Better, by far, to ask what they have learned. Accountability is one of the few things that determines who we, truly, are. "Are you a victim of circumstance, or are you a wise survivor of things past?" CW, you have been blessed with safe and serene circumstances since birth. Your truth seems beautiful, and is a legacy of your parents devotion to family. In light of this, I would caution you against discounting people who have taken a more difficult path to find enlightenment. It is a fools belief that beauty is only found in a garden, and wisdom only in a school. You are sensitive, and thirsty for knowledge, so seek it in everything. I do not mean to appear condescending, but more compelled to share a view with someone of great potential... You pose the question "Do men like women with a strong mind?". Personally, the answer is "Yes", if that mind is guided by just and kind convictions of the heart. Do not accept a lesser answer from anyone that you are considering sharing your life and dreams with. They will detract from who you are, and who you can be.
TinyTeddy- "a well educated lady not marrying or not bearing kids and going to the next stage is not power. it is weakness.because she is insecure that marriage and parentage will make her weak". Not everybody who seeks a career over family life is weak and not everybody who gives in to family life is strong. Although personally if my husband asks me to leave my job then I would do it but if I like my job a lot then understanding me he wouldn't even ask me in the first place. Marriage to me is a lot about adjustments and expectations which I have observed my mom who was pursuing her law career wherever my dad was posted at that time. I feel family life and career shouldn't be mutually exclusive especially these days when times are tough. Husband & wife are one team and they need to face the life's challenges as they go along. I am glad you have a great relationship with your wife. Thanks a lot for commenting.
Nadim- Glad to know that you like woman with a strong mind. Thanks for commenting.
Annabella- It depends from individual to individual and what works for one person may not work for another person. Thanks for stopping by.
J- "I would caution you against discounting people who have taken a more difficult path to find enlightenment. It is a fools belief that beauty is only found in a garden, and wisdom only in a school." That is a nice advice and I would just like to add that "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." I may not have lots of experience (dating or relationships) but I do possess the ability to understand ( and to a certain extent ability to judge) and I feel I can assess whether a person would be right for me and also whether I would be right for him. Some people don't give enough thought before engaging in a relationship like marriage which is for a life time and once having taken that decision feel maybe it would have been better not to be married to that person. I have a few things which are a priority for me and I would assess the priorities of my to be life partner too. But once having taken that decision then I would try to be as good an example as my mother was to be a good wife/mother and any other changes that take place in my life. I have already realized a part of my dream and hopefully will achieve some more within the bounds of the next stage in my life. Thanks for your best wishes and glad you could comment.
WeddingReceptionCenterPieces- Thanks for stopping by and appreciating this hub.
“Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children are above-average.”
Garrison Keillor
God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met.
Farrah Fawcett:
Darn it! I wrote a very long response and I lost it. I can't write it again. I think in America, most men prefer a strong woman.
I am so mad for hitting the wrong button! AAAaahhhhhggg!
Same here Christoph.. I guess there is bug in hubpages.. I replied to "someone's" opinion here and I lost it .. sighss**** Anyway.. your one liner response worked too. :p
They may say the don't, they don't encourage it and they often act hostile towards women with a strong mind, but I notice that they'll go wild after a woman like that. For an example that both you and I might know of, Ben Affleck chased JLo. However, that's in my culture the men can certainly be different in yours but I believe they like a challenge. Goes back to the caveman days of them being hunters.
Naturally not all men are the same.How ever i have found that a lot of British men feel threatened by ladies who are strong in character.I have in the past dated guys who have initially chosen me for my apparent doll like qualities but a few dates later they realise i am self sufficient and actually have more than one brain cell.This quite simply puts them off.I am not a puppet for these gents to pull my strings,i am independant,intelligent and do not suffer fools lightly.Hence, i am a very strong female and it is not a gift these days.How ever i have actually found a very nice gent that actually admires my strength of character.So in my personal opinion i would have to say that gents do not prefer strong ladies.
Mr.Nice- Thanks for those quotes and I have heard about that argument before that men are more "intelligent". Only recently it has been shown that IQ is one thing and EQ (emotional quotient) is another thing. To be successful and happy one doesn't necessarily have to have the so called "high IQ". Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Christoph- It used to happen earlier to me and ever since then as soon as I finish writing then I use copy command. In case my comment blows up then I get to paste it again. I am sure you personally prefer strong woman with whom you can have great conversations. Thanks for your valuable comments and don't worry about missing out on this particular communication. We will have many many more conversations as we go along to make up for it..LOL
ChillingBreeze- I guess it has become an epidemic now about all these "lost comments". Anyway thanks for checking back and if in case you still feel like commenting then please do so.
WriterRider- That hunter comment really set me thinking as in one movie the hero says that every man is like a hunter and once he gets his prey he loses his interest in it. I am not sure if it can be directly applied in present scenario. Thanks for commenting.
Bevy400- I hope the one you have found now appreciates you for what you are. I am sure there are lots of British men who appreciate strong woman and may be haven't met you. Our limited personal experiences can sometimes lead us to draw incomplete conclusions. I pray and wish that your present relationship blossoms. May this year bring you health, wealth and happiness. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
countrywomen, the quote was mis-understood by you. God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent.
Quote says "not necessarily more intelligent"
Wow, CW! Are you psychic? That is precisely what I wrote about!!!!! I'm serious!!!!! I've got goose bumps...or chills...or something!
Mr.Nice- I got what that quote meant and I was just addressing the issue of intelligence in general which even my own brother once raised why woman and men don't have combined chess championship. I personally feel intelligence as mentioned in IQ scores is overrated. Anyway no worries my friend. Thanks for stopping by to clarify about that quote.
Christoph- I wish I was psychic to figure out what goes on in men's minds..hehe. But you know what my mom says "that when two people who are familiar with each other than there is medium of communication through the mind sort of like a telepathy". I am often surprised when I have a cold or something then my mom would tell me the next day whether I was ok as she felt uneasy for me. Often at times when I call India my mom would say that I was just hoping you would call me now and so many other small incidents which can't be explained. But thanks for stopping by again and commenting.
In my case, being a stage director and all, men in our country often tend to be either intimidated or reluctant. I've observed that it's the foreigners I got to know who appreciated the kind of "strength" I have. In the end, I believe, it's still a personal choice. Love knows no boundaries:) Take care:)
Dayzeebee- Well sometimes when we are appreciated by others we get appreciated better by our own country folks. Yes love knows no boundaries and you are ample proof as you spread your love to all over the globe to all of us. Thanks a lot for your lovely comment.
I too live in a country with very strong traditional values yet I have adopted independant views on everything. I think tradition is good when it gives us roots but it is terrible when it imprisons us in the past. Cherish your traditions but do not be bound by them. So to your question: I love a strong independant people, men and women, who know what they want from life and exercise that strength with due care and respect for the good of others. Find a man who shares your values (even if not your traditions), respects your strength and who will not stifle your spirit. Have a great life. ... and by the way, after nearly 30 years of marriage, a good marriage always takes work but respect makes things a whole lot easier!
Me, I'm not really interested with the girl's mind if I only want a one-night stand. But if I am to engage in a serious relationship, I would always prefer a girl with a strong intellect.
countrywomen says: “strong means a person who is an emotionally, intellectually and spiritually strong.” I like that definition and I like women who are strong according to that definition. A woman who is depending on me (be it materially or otherwise) does not make for a ‘better’ wife. I prefer equality, or equivalency in a relationship.
But I guess that all depends on the culture and background you come from. At the end of the day you should decide for yourself what it is you’d like to find in a partner. The better you know yourself, the better you will know if things are going to work out with someone else.
Shaun- Thanks for the nice advice. But unfortunately I am not inclined to consider someone not following our traditions. Its great to know that you have such a successful marriage and "respect" surely is one of the ingredients responsible for it. Thanks a lot for stopping by and commenting.
Thejimster- Glad to know that you like a woman with strong intellect. Thanks for stopping by.
Ananta- I am glad you like my definition. I agree that there has to be mutual respect and understanding of each others roles which make for a great marriage. There is nothing superior or inferior and both are equally responsible for a successful marriage. I know what I seek and I know what I can provide so I guess I will do fine (touch wood!!). Thanks for stopping by.
countrywomen, no problem my friend I do not want to offend you or other female hubbers. That is why I wanted to make sure my comments were not misunderstood. I agree with you that IQ scores are overrated.
Here is my personal opinion.
Someone might be very smart & have excellent grades plus very good in extra curricular activities too. However, if he/she cannot score very high in the IQ test. May be they don't have the knowledge about all those puzzling question's they test you for in IQ test. That doesn't mean they are dumb.
I'm answering for my husband, but he tells me all the time that he is proud of me and wouldn't change me (yeah, right on a few accounts I think). But if I was a woman that just went along with him, I don't think he would be happy.
Mr.Nice- Thanks for stopping by and clarifying. It is nice to know that you echo my thoughts. And don't worry I am not too easily offended..hehe
Rgraf- I am sure your husband admires your "strong" qualities. I guess when we can keep our ego in check then it does work wonders. Some people may like some qualities in others but if they are puffed up then those qualities no longer seem like virtues. And as they say when we like some one then we might overlook there biggest short comings but when we don't like someone then there smallest mistakes are blown out of proportions. I am sure you both make an ideal couple who are mad(e) for each other....hehe. Wishing you both very long happy married life.
Mad(e) for each other could be one way of describing us.
Let it remain that way forever :-)
CW, I agree with Constant Walker, run! You are a beautiful woman, and I don't mean just physically beautiful. You are smart, warm, caring, have a great sense of humor and very pretty. The man for you needs to be able to not only accept those things about you but embrace them and love you for them. Please don't ever hide who you are!
Gwendy- Thanks for all those kind words about me. I will let you know some good news soon. I will try to be me as much as I can. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I absolutely want a woman who has a strong head on her shoulders. Although some guys may find this "intimidating" why not go for someone who is confident in themselves...andpossibly even smarter than you. I think you are more limiting yourself when you hide behind your uncertainties. Strong women are sexy and we need more of them.
great hub!
I like inteligent women but with sense. Intelligence differ depends on how women use it.
Bspilner- Thanks for encouraging me. I am glad to know of your preference for "strong" woman. Well real strength sometimes lies in knowing when to use it and hence I will not limit myself when the need arises. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Kenshin- I am glad you like sensible women. Yes intelligence is just one half of the issue and the wisdom to utilize it appropriately when needed is the other half. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Wow... You are so right, Ladies. All men are controlling, and feel threatened by an intellectually, and emotionally intelligent woman. Men are so inferior to women. Oh, but, of course, theoretically there are a few good men out there, tending to the unicorns. Even then it's probably just an act, a conspiracy if you will. Only a foolish woman would consider a long-term relationship with one of these knuckle-dragging, neanderthal, heathens. Only a foolish woman would judge a mans compatibility based on his character, instead of his background, and ethnicity. Do not mix the cultures or the races, unless, of course, it's for posterity, right CW? Strength lies in protecting the question from the answer. Wisdom lies in seeing only as far as the truth makes you comfortable. By all means, do not limit yourself, you have it infinately figured out! Lonely, isn't it?
YES ... YES ... YES!!!
countrywomen
thank u for this nice hub
I am not only like the women with strong mind but I couldn't emage my life without her.
I have read many comments for u
I that u have strong comments......
That’s just great – once again...good going CW
UsoSmart- Thanks for a very thoughtful comment. I personally believe men and women are equals but may have slightly different roles and need to complement each other. Thanks for commenting.
Hsoyfan- Thanks for that emphatic YES. Thanks for stopping by.
Warm Heart- Thanks for that warm comment. Yes a woman with a strong mind without strong ego could definitely be an asset. Thanks for your nice opinion.
FirstGlance- I am glad even your "second glance" is appreciative of my writing..hehe. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
This is very culture-specific. As an American living in Hong Kong, I can tell you that most Americans are strong-willed and independent-minded, but here in Hong Kong, the traditional attitude is that women are SUPPOSED TO just sit there and ask their husbands/boyfriends/fiances for money
WOW.. I scrolled all the way down after reading your HUB because I did not want anyone to influence my response to you. I honestly think that the world is too diverse to say which one is the accurate answer. It would depend on where you live, your culture, and mostly, what each individual wants out of life, and each other.
I personally have had both sides of the coin, as far as relationships go. My X husband of nearly 14 years wanted me to think the exact same thing as him, and if I didn't, well, I wasn't part of HIS team.
My SOUL MATE now for the past nine years, well, he doesn't care if I have my own opinion, wants me to have my own, appreciates the fact that I have a strong mind. I am not his property, and he is not mine. I do not tell him what to do, and he does the same for me.
Men and women are as variant as the number of the stars. If a man doesn't want a strong, vibrant funny, smart, ambitious woman, maybe he should just build himself a virtual woman...because there are more of "us" out there than anyone probably wants to admit.
I, myself, I want a partner, who has the desire to succeed just as much as I do. I happen to have most of the technological talent, and he is the motivator, Super Dad, who doesn't mind cleaning the house or helping with laundry while I do reports, write ads or just surf the net, learning.
Now, that is a duet.. We sing in perfect harmony!
FishSkinFreak2008- You are right it could be culture specific. As some people who are from other cultures then they find it difficult to understand the concept of arranged marriage and may jump to conclusion that all "arranged marriages" are bad. The support system that exists in different cultures maybe unique to that culture and some cultures when it is strongly advised to be independent then they may find that it is not an easy task to understand (unless one is born and raised into that specific culture and not just see it from an outsider's point of view). Thanks for stopping by.
Sharon- You are so right "world is too diverse to say which one is the accurate answer". Every body has different perceptions and even in India people born into different religions, castes and background have different attitudes hence not an easy task by any stretch. I guess the best thing unless one is up for a very big challenge is to go for familiarity breeds "consent" (instead of contempt)...LOL
i love your hubs...
Tring-Sandra,
Thanks for appreciating my hubs. It is due to encouragement from you all that makes me write. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Nice hub..yes like them both emotionally n physically...but no games please..only ocassionally..
Affiliator- Thanks for stating your preference. Its nice to see men stating "no games please" which is often what we feel about men...LOL
countrywomen u r doing a good job keep it up
I told u that u have strong comment. Thank u.
the sharp woman is better for intelligent man and unwise man, other wise sharp woman generates clever children then take care of them better than unwise woman.
sharp woman is better even in doing love, I feel excited when I Look at her eyes.
finally wise women make nice world.
Many have already said similar - but I think you should always be yourself no matter what.
I think a strong women is someone who is proud of who they are & love themselves first - but not in a selfish way -lol
Somewhere out there is a man that will appreciate and love you just for being yourself. Don't put too much pressure on getting married - when the time is right, then your future will fall into place. Wishing you all the best.
Shaye
I like Women with a strong mind from the country-side.
hi sweety
my name is khalil
from
pakistan
i want friendship best girl
my contact is
03444192090
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I agree with so many here--it depends on the man. Some men are afraid of a strong woman. I think the boy you talked to, wouldn't make a good husband. He wasn't listening to you and didn't care what you wanted from life.
This was a very interesting article. I'd like to see another on what a "marriage portfolio" is. I think that would also be very interesting.
i need help! i have a boyfriend but two of my friends say he said im hot but two other friends say he really doesn't like me at all but the two friends that say he does not like me like him who to beleave!
Strong man likes strong woman. It is seldom that it will be attracted to the opposite of his quality. As for me it will be more enjoyable and fulfilling to deal with a woman of strong mind. This is base on my experience only not a general conclusion.
not always a strong man like strong women, cozy of its low looking attitude towards women. But a men who is well knowledged and respect women (like me) always like strong womens to walk togther with them in all foots of life.
>mikayla: you just stay quiet and see you tend to attract you will come to you...!
HIPHOP
love your post
HIPHOP
hiphop you rock...
In a relationship strong and weak is always relative! A smart independent intelligent woman may be relatively weaker in a relationship and the same holds for the man too. Its not so much about how strong or weak you are but how compatible you are and how well you compliment each other. I wanted to emphasize this point because every relationship is unique and notions of independence and strength of mind apply very differently in a relationship than otherwise. There have been instances of strong men--leaders and dictators--behaving very meekly in a relationship and vice versa. `in short, everything is relative. :)
Most men like to be the dominant one in a relationship. It probably goes back to cavemen times when they were the hunter gatherer and the women bore the children, cooked the food, kept the cave and planted the garden. You know the time, when men yanked women by their hair. I don't think it's because of their tiny egos. I think it's just an ingrained inherant thing which women are evolving out of. So, independent women are just more evolved.
I think men are losing, there place in society and the roll they play at home.I like it when girls are independent and can find for them self,They still need the touch of man and offer a safety net.
this is one hell of a debate and I don't think there is any one solution, this question has been asked for centuries, Shakespeares 'Taming of the Shrew' is about a man who falls in love with a strong woman and then try's everything to make her subserviant to him,Why? Woman fall in love with strong driven men and then want them to give it all up because of the 'You are never home with me' syndrome.
Just be yourself and don't look ,the right one is there somewhere, you are strong and be proud of it, don't hide it.
Compromise is the key, let the other feel and know that you are strong in some ways but in others his help is needed...If you show too much independance he may wonder why he is with you at all..
In any case if you are in love what does it matter ?
hello dear how are you doing with life there, i hope things are moving great with you hon. nice to meet u bebe
If there ever was a man who wouldn't want a women with a strong mind. Then the man himself must be weak and insecure. And so a strong minded women wouldn't want such a man.
I do not know if all those voted yes were all MEN. It needs to be clarified first that only MALE SPECIES with no gay tendencies (no offense meant) can vote.
Anyonimus- Thanks for appreciating and commenting.
Warm Heart- "wise women make nice world" Yes wise Men/Women certainly are required to make the world nice. Thanks for stopping by.
The How To- Thanks for the wonderful advice "be yourself no matter what" and I am now happily married. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Guidebaba- May you get the woman you desire. Thanks for commenting.
Khalil- Thanks for the friendship offer. Thanks for visiting this hub.
Michellcat- I will see if I can write a hub about "marriage portfolio". Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Yes! Strong mind, Strong heart.
Very thought provoking. I was thinking about it from a dog pack perspective, and I think a human pack has some similarities. There has to be an alpha so that things can run smoothly and decisions can be made, but this alpha does not always need to be the same person. For things that matter to the man, he can assume the alpha role, and the woman can assume the alpha in others. It is interesting to note that many of my friends who also have dogs say that their packs are ruled mostly by a dominant female :) Also there are many different types of alpha - from dictator to democratic leader. Sorry, this is a bit off topic.
I think with regards to whether men like strong women - it depends on the man, the culture the man grew up in, and the culture the man is living in today. I saw this really interesting movie with Sally Field, where she married an Iranian man. Anyway, her husband acted very differently when he returned to Iran from the US, because he was affected by the societal norms and expectations of the people around him.
I feel for you girl. My culture is just the same way. It is believed that only guys should attend school, while the women bare children and be a housewife. Nowadays, we are more independent and have more rights. You continue being your good old self and finish with schooling. Don't let no man get you down for that reason.
Countrywomen, firstly as a respectful compliment to you- you are quite beautiful in every sense of the word and so you should never have to feel compelled to lower your standard for anyone.
Secondly, out of respect for your culture I won't delve into the "arranged marriage" situation (unless I misunderstood that part) but if that is the case, then those doing the arranging should endeavor to match intellects as well as heritage, culture, financial stability and other categories. The reason I bring this up is- this "guy", actually had his mother call your mother to have your mother tell you, you were too stong willed for him. By Anerican standards, that's not very manly but worst, by your standards- it reveals the guy was already "below" you in intellect. To reiterate, it is of my opinion that the whole arrangement was botched to begin with and had no chance of future success just based on the kind of character this individual exhibited and the way he handled things.
As far as your subject matter- yes, I love a woman with a strong intellect. A strong intellect by interpretation means that she is goal driven, has dreams, is self confident and assurred and is going places. Women on the other side of the equation tend to be needy, possessive and lacking confidence. The lack of confidence alone leads to all kinds of trouble such as poor self image, weight gain, careless appearance, messiness, etc. This is the kind of situation that drags men down, strips them of their natural affinity toward conquoring and being a provider.
Remember this, while a woman's # 1 "need" in a relationship is to feel loved and secure by her man, many women make the mistake of thinking that men feel the same way- that feeling loved and secure is their # 1 need. This is NOT the case. Men place the same value on being respected as a woman places on being loved.
All that to say that when a man is respected, he will return the love a woman needs without pretention and without limit. Even if her intellect is superior to his, when this "right" equation exists: "man loving woman, woman respecting man" their two intellects will mesh with unbridled harmony and form something beautiful as a result!
I believe you have to be equally intelligent as stimulation of the mind is necessary, you have to be able to share common interests equally as well as home responsibilities etc. , but then again it is based on culture. I wish you could meet our friend Sunny as he is from India and quite handsome, his entire family is quite wealthy and they have been trying to find him a wife. He is humorus, intelligent and respects a woman for who she is. I guess you would say in some ways he has became quite americanized, his family sends him to India and his complaint is the women are not smart enough for him and just want someone to have many children with. It seems him and you are on the same page of intellect and also wish to have other things. Sioux City has nice people as we lived their for a short period of time, but I believe they are behind culturally speaking and will be for a long time, the upside of Sioux City is a neighbor will lend a helping hand and if you leave your door unlocked, you certainly do not have to worry about finding anyone in your basement or carrying out your personal belongings while you are away. Lol..:) I hope you find everything you are looking for. :)
My answer is a definite, yes!
I think many men do feel intimidated by a woman who is independent or strong-willed. I personally am willing to stay single rather than try to seem less "threatening." lol. And I also find that when you do finally meet a guy who likes your independent nature, he usually likes it a LOT. :) He considers it one of the attractive things about you, rather than something he merely tolerates.
Great hub!! Good luck with your search for the right guy!
www.insidefun.net
a good hub! I really like it! you have touched upon a very sensitive issue!
Good article
Not only was the Hub good, but the comments were (mostly) reassuring.
Good to know there are so many guys out there who appreciate an intelligent girl.
I'm struggling to teach my neanderthal (who pretended to be a modern-day man until mid-marriage) that he doesn't want a dumb, giggly groupie raising his kid.
Thinking, after seeing that so many other men understand that already, whether I should give up or take it as a sign that there's hope.
Great topic and wonderful comments. Most people who know me consider me to be strong and independent. There have been plenty of men who have found that part of my personality a bit intimidating and a few who seemed to want to take it on as a challange for all the wrong reasons. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a man who appreciates and is not intimidated by my intelligence and independence. He has also taken the time to get to know the weaker/softer and more emotional side of me - as they say, there are two sides to every coin!
Yes, real men love a woman with a strong mind. I wouldn't have it any other way. Man, having a one with a strong mind that loves you, should make a man feel like he is on top of the world. Keep in mind that, I am referring to a woman who is educated, have goals, ambition, and thinks for herself while not being easily influenced. Thank you, thank you, and thank you for this hub page.
Review my hubpage on Love Power.
Kelvin
Do Men like Women with a strong mind
it Was very well written, I support you, welcome to my hub
Quoting your words "Anyway that certainly was a wake up call for me to be more careful in the future." I certanly hope you do not mean to be more careful of showing your strengths. That would be a tragedy, and you would end up spending the rest of your life pretending to be something which you are not.
Do Men like Women with a strong mind
Please revisit the last hub I started. I think it will make a little more sense.
Mikayla- I hope things are working out for you. Without knowing the full details I wouldn't like to give any advice.
Broyce- Nice to know about your preference for a strong woman.
Hiphop94- Well your suggestion that "birds of a feather flock together" would be an ideal situation. Thanks for taking the time to give suggestion for Mikayla.
Jaky- Thanks for visiting and appreciating Hiphop.
The Sophist- That is so true when you say everything is "relative". Yes each relationship is unique and there can't be one hard and fast rule.
Cindyvine- Your analogy of a caveman may help explain the underlying sub conscious mind. I guess in some relationships in some areas one partner takes the dominant role but you are right we need to have more understanding and cooperation for the efforts put in by the woman.
Tyger200711- Yes those roles are being redefined and thanks to the cooperation of supportive husbands.
Hawkesdream- WOW!! That is a nice shakespeare lesson for us. I guess you nailed it to a certain extent. Yes we women do love to change our partners to a certain extent...LOL
JohnsonSmith- It was nice meeting you. Thanks for commenting.
Ilena Mince- I guess it would be a tough thing to generalize that all girls who like "strong" men must be strong women and vice versa. Each relationship is unique in its own way.
Ajesdretorre- Thanks for mentioning that disclaimer and I guess this poll has already had its run. Maybe in next hub.
Thanks everyone for stopping by and commenting.
Nice Work
I haven't read all of the previous comments, and I almost didn't even read this hub (though I am glad that I did).
My experience tells me that the question you ask will be answered differently depending on the culture of the answerer. Often this culture will be religious (which is not the same as spiritual, might I add). I don't know very many Hindu couples and therefore cannot speak for the boy or his parents. I do know, however, that in certain very conservative Christian sects women are expected to be very submissive to their men. When I first became a Christian I struggled daily with the idea that biblically speaking, women were inferior to men (I no longer believe this).
I believe that women with good minds make the best wives. You as a woman need to be able to handle yourself independently of your husband. If he were to die, you would require the intelligence to handle your financial affairs and the ability to bring money into the household to support yourself and your family. I think that many, if not most, men would feel more confident knowing that their wives had this ability.
YES! A strong women is benificial to a relationship as long as the man understands the marrage concept (as well as the women). The two bonded together should be stronger then each other independantly. Thats the purpose of the bonding together. A man must be mek enough to accept that he needs help and support in certain areas. The women must be strong enough to not only fill that gap, but to remind the man of each of thier roles.
A man , with the natural ego and dominating levels needs a strong women to balance out the relationship. If the man cannot see that, then he needs a little more maturing or...???
For me i will saybthat it depends, what matters for me is if you have friends for some time and you know the person more,and during your time of knowing each other you bring all your expectations and traditions in to discussion.and then agree if you want to get married how you are gong to live, how you are going to solve your problems in times of stress,understand a bit more about the family you friend comes from.
For me this what matters,
for sure some men they feel unconforable to be challenged by a female again for me i think this is being unrealistic anyway thats all i wanted to say
Very interesting Text
I am a fan of Everyday Miracles. She speaks very fact and very true. No one is inferior to any one, not only between a man and a woman but also between one man and another man and one woman and another woman. Each person has value. All are interdependant in family, society and the world.
Hi countrywoman,
Thank for great information, for my opinion man should be strong mind than woman.
But now I realize that we woman should not depend on them...
We need to move forward.... Sorry guys.....
great hub, its so wierd but i woke up this morning thinking just this. im in two minds, but i shall mull it over!
CD
When I met my wife she was handling a home and two kids on her own. She had a solid position with the US judiciary and she was taking care of business. This is what attracted me to her. I wanted a full partner not a dependent. I wanted someone who would be with me in decision making and could handle things on her own if necessary. We've been married almost nineteen years and I wouldn't have it any other way. Cathy retired as Chief Deputy Clerk of a federal court and I couldn't be more proud of her.
good hub.
I voted 'yes' ...I'm 18, I'm very strong but i'm not hard, I'm still gentle...I just adore diversity and I think I have many good values, I'm open minded, and my mind is often absorbed in the spiritual side to life. I've been constantly single my teenage life, however...and I'm not ugly or anything. In fact, people have expressed shock at my single-ness. I noticed that my friend who I think is also strong, has been mostly single too, although she's got a bit more experience than I do. This very masculine guy I worked with, dated a very femininne, shy, sort of girl. But what is that?! I mean, I use to blush quite a lot at school, but now that I've graduated, I don't really blush anymore. There is also the 'myth?' that men don't like funny women and my other strong friend and I are both hilarious, or at least, we think we are. I mean to say we're silly, and we enjoy being silly when we're together, we have a real good sense of humour...we crack jokes...I read that guys like girls to laugh at their jokes but feel threatened if we are making the jokes! Another girlfriend I talked to this about said that they think it's their job. Their domain. My strong friend was like 'they can get stuffed if they think I'm going to lose my humor! without it i'd be boring.'
Next it will be no personality. The humour thing is relevent because if you're funny, you're witty...you're smart, and that's part of being a free and strong woman. If they're threatened of any of that or don't like it...well then they're not good enough for us! this one guy was 'interested' in me and we connected, but then he stopped texting and began ignoring me so I think these are the men that are weak and like it was said before it's possible, it just takes a strong man to appreciate a strong woman and why would a strong woman want to be with anything less?
I definitely appreciate a strong minded woman who knows what she wants in life. My fiancee is actually attending school for her Masters while I'm settling for a Bachelors and I have no issue with this. I appreciate the fact that we can have long, intellectual conversations and that we have so much in common.
Great Hub CW, I think men love a woman with a strong mind ,at least while the lights on , lol, then again like someone else mentioned , its all about compatibility and compromise,like two different plants sharing the same garden etc. Im a morning person , hes a night person ,so somewhere around midday its all good ,lol....no its choices ,right ,sometimes Im stronger in some areas where hes weak and vice a versa...and it reminds me of this great quote
Behind every man ,Stands an even greater woman....but do you know what stands behind a great woman???
Coffee , damn good coffee!! (lol)....thanks again for your well-written hub CW.
yes Men do like women with strong mind but in way that she dedicate to their children and family once she has shown her strong mind towards her career then they don't like it and in some way one has to compromise and that woman has to do it I am not saying that woman has to give up her career but I am telling abt the time when one has to compromise than it will be her when ever the woman become strong head of not giving up her career than she has to give up her family that's why we have seen so many successful woman family life are disturb. Regarding that indian girl you tell us brought up in US and looking for a boy from india that's never going to happen first of all the Indian boys are looking for a girl who has Indian values who give more importance to family rather than to her individuality that you can barely see girls in here no matter she brought up in Indian or American family and second thing openness in the culture no matter how open Indians are but they will always be conservative that's why the Indian boys who brought up in US but they marry the girl with Indian values kind of good deal but the girls who brought up in US they have to manage with NRI's that's how it is.
Great hub and sparking some great conversations. I consider myself a woman with a strong mind and what I've learned is that a man with a strong mind will like a woman with a strong mind as long as he feels you need him every once in a while. Don't worry about the men who don't have strong minds, you won't be interested in them anyway :)
I know I do. Otherwise, it is boring.
Being of Lao descent, I think I understand where this guy is coming from. Usually men from my culture want women who are pliable like a young tree branch in order for them to kind of bend to their like. If the woman is strong and independent, they may be turned off to them because they fear they cannot control them, as chauvinistic as that may sound. On the other hand, in the States, men want women who are strong (just look at your poll!) and have an opinion on things, rather than some robot like Rosy from the Jetson's cartoon! Hope I some how contributed.
Dohn- This hub was written even before I met my husband. Can you believe it I met my husband for the first time just 2 weeks after I wrote this hub. We got married in Feb this year. Maybe as my mom always says "whatever happens it happens for good". You have certainly given some insight which I think is common in east although to generalize "all men" would again not be correct. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I think it is very important for a woman and man to have strengh in whom they are for a healthy relationship. A strong mind, intellect with the ability to compromise in a healthy means. Great hub!
RelSol1 says:
10 months ago
Nice hub. As a man, I definitely want a woman with a strong intellect. I want her to be goal driven, and someone who can drive me to success as well. I believe that the 2 partners should push each other toward success, and share the joys that success brings.