If you have been divorced two or three times, it is time to rethink how you are starting these new relationships.  It is a known fact that women have the propensity to select the same type of man and have to be careful, thoughtful, and analytical  the second time when entering a relationship.

You must understand that the most difficult thing to get around is yourself.  You are the most difficult person to understand because you are more than what meets the eye.  You are a product of generations of marriages that may not have gone well that you have no knowlege of.  The relationship that is most important is the one that you have seen played out between your mother and your father.

Children pick up on what is important in life from their parents.  If they are products of a divorced home, more likely than not, they may think that life is all about broken homes.  Unknowingly, they may select a man identical to the one whoi her mother selected because that type of man is the only one that she is accustomed to having around.  Case in point, Rihanna was physically abused by Chris Brown and all speculation was that he was from a home where the wife was constantly beaten.  Recent interviews with Rihanna revealed that her mother was a product of an abusive husband and she had grown accustomed to seeing her mother battered.

What happened is that Rihanna and Chris Brown both found themselves in physical abusive relationship.  These people are not married and that is a good thing but for illustration the case was brought up to prove that women select men similar to their fathers and men select women similar to their mothers.  The simplicity of the statement is cause for much debate but from most indications, the statement is true.

How do you evaluate a situation that is too close to call and that you have difficulty stepping back and getting a clear picture of who you are marrying?  Rihanna aptly said that you must take a step back and look at the situation as a third person to see if this person is good for you.  You can not use love as a measurement because love does not allow its partakers to see clearly.  One person may mask the problematic situation to keep the "loving" relationship going and the other person may think that silence is a sign of approval of unacceptable relationship behavior.

At the first sign of problems in a marriage the person to take the objective look can be a marriage counselor.  If after talking to marriage counselors about your marriage situation and you still marry someone difficult to get along with then the problem may be that you are not allowing enough time between failed marriages or relationships.  You need to take a closer look at what you are bringing to the relationship and could improvements be made in regards to your behavior or personality.

If you do not want to keep repeating your divorced situation over and over again, you may want to examine what you are bringing to the table with each of these highjacked relationships.  You should not think that a quick replacement to a failed marriage is the go to formula in getting over a relationship.  If you use this formula of hurrying up to get someone new, then you are not giving yourself enough time between relationships to examine what went wrong.  Something must have gone wrong or the two of you would still be married.

The best healer is time and the best examiner of what went wrong in a relationship is time as well.  Do not rush into a second, third or fouth relationship until you are ready.  You are putting yourself through a lot of stress dealing with so many relationships in the hopes of getting over one.  People are complex and with each new relationship, you have to learn about the other person and be flexible with his wants and desires.  Why not give yourself enough time between relationships getting to know more about you so that your rate of failing in yet another relationship is minimized.

Research your family  history and if you find that you have selected someone similar to someone in your family history that had a few problems. be aware that the same problems may be encountered. Get relationship counseling if you want the relationship to work.  Take time between each relationship before starting a new relationship to make up or as as  makeover from the last one.  Get to really know the person who you are having a relationship in instead of trying to make the relationship work. 

Relationships are only complex because of the two people involved.  If you get to know who you are in regards to expectations, needs and wants, it will be easier to select someone compatible for a lasting and enduring relationship.  Multiple divorces does not necessarily mean that the divorcee is problematic.  More often than not, it means that enough time was not devoted to analyzing the other party and herself before jumping into yet another relationship.