In 2007/08 in the UK, there were 342,000 recorded incidents of domestic violence.  What's meant by "recorded incidents" is that these are incidents which were reported to the police; the real figure is probably quite a bit higher than this.  Indeed, it's estimated that one in four women will be physically abused by their husbands/partners at some point during their lives - a frightening statistic, to say the least.  But what many people don't realise or acknowledge is that women aren't the only ones who experience domestic violence; it happens to men as well.

In the statistic I've given above, 15% of the recorded incidents (i.e. 52,000 out of the 342,000) were acts of violence that took place against men, not women.  This information comes from a survey published by the charity mankind.org.uk.  This survey makes the telling point that men are less likely to report domestic violence against them than women are - perhaps they think that people won't believe them, or they are too ashamed to do so.  Thus the "real" ratio of male to female domestic violence victims could well be a lot greater - the mankind.org survey believes it could be as high as 40:60.

Since 2003, the Home Office has provided local authorities with £60 million per year to support women at risk of domestic violence - this support takes the form of affordable housing for "at risk" women who have fled abusive relationships. No such support is available for men, and there are only a few domestic violence refuges for men in England and Wales, and none in Scotland or Northern Ireland.

After the recent news stories about female paedophiles, perhaps it's not terribly surprising to hear that women are capable of being abusive towards their husbands/partners. There are plenty of violent men out there, but men don't have the monopoly on aggression and violence by any means. Some people might ask the question "Why do men put up with it?" After all, men tend to be bigger and physically more powerful than women. In an analysis of callers to its helpline, the mankind.org survey even gives statistics on the average height and weight of the female perpetrator (5 feet 4 inches and 145 pounds) and the male victim (5 feet 9 inches and 169 pounds). So it's not just a question of puny men being picked on by Amazonian women.

However, as many female domestic violence victims will attest, it's not just about physical strength but psychological manipulation and control. I've known several pathologically manipulative women in my time, and it's not too big a stretch of the imagination to believe they're capable of physical violence on top of this. Children are also a factor. In Britain at least, it's much harder for the father to get custody of children after a break-up than it is for the mother. This makes me wonder how many men put up with abuse from their partners/wives because they don't want to walk out on their children and lose custody of them. It's a sobering thought.

© M. Ibbotson November 2009