When we think of the word atrocity we think of all the cruel acts being done or the horrid acts of injustice being done on a global scale in the world today. The news media is only too happy to report these terrible acts and so they should, as we as humankind need to know what is going on,so that we can do what we can to help in whatever way possible to make a difference in putting a stop to the pain and suffering of all people.

Now it is time to start talking about the atrocities that we as a polite society do not want to talk about or to acknowledge fully and that is the atrocity of thousands of homes where abuse and cruely abound.

In 1965 Dr. Martin Luther King in a speech at Dinkier Plaza Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia in part said " History will have to record the greatest tradgedy of this period of social transistion was not the vitrolic words and other violent actions of the bad people but the appalling silence and indifference of the good people. Our generation will have to repent not only the words and acts of the children of darkness but also for the fears and apathy of the children of light. Dr. King was talking about the silent majority and the indiffernce of people standing up to the atrocities being done against the black people.


Today the silent majority are once again ( did they ever go away?) in full force, for we have a terrible injustice being done and it is happening under our very noses and that is the the prevalent cruelty of what is happening behind closed doors..the atrocity of children being hurt, of spouses being victimized.

While people of good will are standing up to be counted about the global atrocities, maybe we people of good will need to be more proactive and stand up against the home front atrocities.

Let us not be the silent majority on this important issue, let us be the children of light and truly help those who need our voices..the children and the families of domestic/child abuse.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

For the Adult Victims:

Ask direct questions, gently.

Let her/him know you support and care about them, they are not responsible for the violence, and only the abuser can stop the violence.

Provide her/him with information about local resources such as phone numbers of the domestic violence shelter, hotlines, support groups, counseling, and legal advocates.

She/he may need financial assistance, and help finding a place to live, or store belongings. He/She may need assistance to escape. Make the decision if you feel comfortable helping out in these ways

Explain that physical/emotional violence in a relationship is never acceptable at any time. There is no excuse for the violence - not alcohol or drugs, financial pressures, depression, nor jealousy.

Explain that domestic violence is a crime, just like robbery or rape. Let her know she/he can seek protection from the police and the justice system.

If she/he has children, reinforce their concerns for them by letting her/him know that domestic violence is also damaging to children. In fact, you may also want to reach out to the children, and let them know you are there for them.

If you see or hear an assault in progress, call the police immediately because these assaults are often dangerous, but do not physically intervene.


For the Children:

It is important to understand that children are not always able to verbalize that they need help, but they will react in different ways to being abused or witnessing abuse:

# They may become anxious or depressed.
# They may have difficulty sleeping.
# They may have nightmares or flashbacks.
# They may complain of physical symptoms such as tummy aches.
# They may start to wet their bed.
# They may have temper tantrums.
# They may behave as though they are much younger than they are.
# They may have problems at school, or may start truanting.
# They may become aggressive.
# They may internalise their distress and withdraw from other people.
# They may have a lowered sense of self-worth.
# Older children may start to use alcohol or drugs.
# They may begin to self-harm by taking overdoses or cutting themselves.
# They may develop an eating disorder

# they may start anti social behaviours such as stealing

If a child does talk to you :

# Listen carefully and let the child tell you what happened in his/her own time.
# Reassure the child that he/she is not to blame for what happened (or is happening).
# Let the child know he/she is very brave to tell you about it.
# Show your child that you are concerned for him/her.
# Try to stay calm and not let the child see how shocked you are.

What else can you do?

Defuse a violent situation
If you're a witness to abuse, don't yell at the parent. You'll just make matters worse for the child. Instead, draw attention to yourself by feigning sympathy for the abuser, saying something like, "Kids sure can be infuriating, can't they?"

Talk to the child

Soothe the child – and simultaneously calm the parent – by offering a compliment. For example, you could say, "You're such a pretty little girl!" and then turn to the parent and add, "I bet you hear that a lot."

Report your suspicions

If you suspect that a child is being abused, call the National Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD). Counselors are available 24/7 and you can remain anonymous.


Involve others

If no action is taken by the authorities and you still suspect a problem, discuss your concerns with the child's teacher or the family's minister.

Help the family

See if there's something you can do to reduce tension in the family—and reduce the child's risk in the process.