How to Tell Your Date That You Have a Boyfriend
75What he knows could ruin your relationship with your guy if you kiss and tell him that you are dating someone else. He does not need to know your life history and especially if you are presently seeing another person. If he asks if you are seeing someone else and the both of you are out on a date, he may be questioning your loyalty of the relationship. Some guys like to play detective and practically tries to figure their dates out by asking questions. You do not have to answer the question. You need to be able to change the subject tactfully and get off of the subject right away if you are dating someone else.
Do not try to turn the tables on him by backfiring the question back to him. The two of you are out on a date and the purpose of the date to have fun and to enjoy each other company. While on a date, the guy should not delve into your personal business because the two of you are not yet a couple. If the relationship develops into a viable relationship, then it would be understood that only the two of you are involved.
On the other spectrum, you should not ask him if he is seeing someone else while on the date. The mention of another person only put a strain on the evening even if no one else is involved. He may think that the date is not going well and that you wish that he had taken out his other girl instead of you. There is no way of knowing his attitude about including the mention of someone's name during the date so the optimal thing to do is to not mention anyone else while on your date.
However, if he volunteers the information, then that means that he is not interested in you and is probably looking forward to seeing his other girl. There is no reason for him to mention another girl while out on a date with you and there is no reason for you to mention another guy. The other person added to the date even just vocally could put a strain on the date. Suppose you have are thinking about breaking up with the other person and then you blurt this out to your date. More often than not, he may think that you either need an attitude adjustment or that if a relationship begin with him that it would go the same route.
Don't Kiss and tell your date that you are dating someone else. If you do divulge this privvy information, that means that you have made a situation yet to develop into one of complications. Keep the dating scene simple by dating only one guy at a time. If you are dating more than one guy, you do not have to give out any information about the other guy who you are dating. How would he know unless you tell him and you should definitely keep news of another guy under wraps. Give the guy a chance by only going out with him and simplify your dating by shushing about any other relationship that you may have brewing. You may be brewing the wrong relationship and should give your new guy a chance.
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Comments
With men, lying is like a disease; once we start doing it with a certain person, the habit can stick. Hence, we try to offer the truth. However, the moment we find out that she lied to us, all bets are off. That's why in my estimation it's better to be truthful about everything up front. That takes away most of the doubts or insecurities you might have because you know exactly what to expect going in.
Good advice, Linda. Don't kiss and tell. It doesn't mean you have to lie, it just means it's none of his business. It's different if you're forming an exclusive relationship; then there shouldn't be another guy or another woman in the picture. But if it's just a date and neither party is committed to exclusivity, which Linda's situational hub outlines, then she's right--there's no need to mention other people.
I love your Hub about this topic, and thankyou for answering my request!
Waren E, thank you for your comment and from a guy's perspective.
ShyneIV, thank you for your comment. The truth and only the truth works everytime. People seem to forget that lies can also come from the other person in the relationship as well. Then you realize that you do not have much of anything going on between the two of you if both of are lying or avoiding the truth.
Paradise7, thank you for the comment and your thoughtful insights. You advice is well supplemented and I appreciate you for concurring. Why kiss and tell if nothing serious is going on in the relationship?
strictlydating, thank you for your comment and for giving a forum for "How to Develop Character."
I agree that on a first date questions like, "Are you seeing other people?" shouldn't be asked. If the relationship takes the step to the next level then any question is a good one. Trust IS the most important part of building the relationship. If after a few dates he or she reveals they are dating other people, I think it's best to move on. Keep the friend if you want, but look elsewhere for your soulmate.
frismasso, thank you for your comment. You speak the truth when yau say that it is time to move on if after few dates he or she mention dating other people. The confession would be like telling each other that the relationship is to be kept on a friendship level. Great response.
why are you dating another guy if you already have a boyfriend?
Stevennix2001, thank you for your comment. This was an answer to a hubpage question. In a relationship such as described in the article, the girl may be looking to leave the relationship with the boyfriend and was asked out for a casual outing among friends. Guys do this type of thing all the time with obvious intentions, but then that is the subject of another hubpage article. Your comment was much appreciated.
In many cases we all want to know who and what the other person is seeking. I must agree we don't always have to kiss and tell. You can be honest without giving away your entire soul. Don't forget we live in a society that loves to play games. We may not be interested in the person but just like the idea of them wanting you.
tracykeleth, thank you for your comment. You brought up an interesting point about how society likes to play games. Game of the heart can be painful and that is why if you are casually dating but developing serious feelings about someone else, it is best to not necessarily tell but to not continue to lead your date on.
Waren E says:
2 months ago
It so true speaking from the perspective of all guys,the last thing I want to find out, is about another man or men,before a serious relationship has a chance to start,it can really cause some weird feelings, consisting of doubt and well,just not being that important or special to a lady!
Nice insight there,thanks for sharing!