A True story about Drinking and Driving
78Donald Nolan Nov 25,1927 Died Mar 14,2006
Dedication
Now that I have your attention please take the time to read.
This is a true story and I hope that I can shed some light on drinking and driving as it can happen to anyone. If one person just takes the time to read it and embrace it , it could bring about life changing events. Keep in mind I am not saying that you cannot drink, I am asking that you do not drive as this event that happened to our family has changed it forever. We cannot turn back the hands of time we can only move forward and tell others about it. If you to have a story share it on the comments so that others know what you have experienced. If you have not experienced this embrace it and I do pray that this will never happen to you.
copyright 2007
In Memoriam
On February 16,2005 2 days after Valentine's day my parents both senior citizens were on there way to work. My mother who was the driver and my father who was the passenger left at the same time every night. On this particular night an impaired driver , speeding down the freeway at 95mph slammed into the back of there 2002 Grand Cherokee , careening them into a wall and there vehicle spun out of control and again hit the wall but not before hitting a another vehicle and road signs as they were doing repair on the freeway. Due to the severe impact the vehicle ,was totaled and my father who's seat split in half and had been thrown from the passenger seat to the middle of the vehicle was left with broken vertebrae in his back and double aneurisms both around his heart and in his stomach. Here was an active man who's life was cut short due to another person getting behind the wheel and driving. Needless to say my father past away 1 year and 1 month later due to the aneurisms bursting around his heart and my mother found him in there kitchen his head laying on a crossword puzzle book ,gone. This tragedy could have been prevented if that man from New Mexico did not get behind the wheel and drive. I met him on the road that night as I pulled up behind the accident , I remember is face and the smell of alcohol profusely on his breathe. He could not walk,he could not function. Am I angry? I am saddened by the circumstance what if that was his family member? Am I forgiving? The only thing I can hope is that he quit drinking and driving as I don't want him to harm any others on the road nor himself. Did he get time?The answer to that question is no he did not! As he resides in New Mexico so laws vary from state to state. He has taken from us many happy memories due to acting irresponsibly behind the wheel of a vehicle.
My goal is to get the word out to as many as I possibly can so that they or someone they love may not become a statistic.
Recommendation
1. Know your limit. If you don't know experiment at home while someone observes you.
2. Eating during drinking alcohol absorbs much more slowly.
3. Accept a drink only if you want one , not because someone else is telling you to have one, don't be pressured by a friend remember you are in control.
4. Do not mix alcohol and prescriptions those two are a deadly combination.
5. Don't let yourself or others drive intoxicated. Call a cab, take the keys, have them ride with someone who is sober but never ever let them drive.
Final Word
Do not be a statistic or have someone become a statisitc please make responsible decisions before getting behind the wheel.
For more information on how to get involved contact your local city or state MADD (Mother's against drunk drivers), if you believe you may have a problem with drinking contact AA or any church group who may assist you.
copyright © 2008
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
It is however we can only learn from it, I wish that I could contact the gentleman and let him know what happened as I am in Arizona and he is in New Mexico maybe then he wouldn't drink and drive. I have forgiven him but would just like others to know that when you lose a loved one and there life is cut short it is painful to everyone. The officers at the scene were surpirse that the vehicle did not explode as they stated it was common for it to possibly happen due to the impact of the other vehicle. I am just blessed to still have our mother.
I am sorry for your loss. I guess Dads die for lots of reasons and it is never easy. Your Dad did get to live a pretty long life. Perhaps the blessing is he didn't have to get into all those difficult aging problems like alzheimers and general debilitation. I am in a place where I am watching my mother and my father in law struggle with memory and with oxygen tanks. They are really struggling with mortality. I think in a way it was easier to lose my father while he was vibrant at 60. Thanks for the Hub. Again, there are technical issues, like spelling and punctuation, but the message is clear.
Thank you for the critiquing again as I need to slow down and look before posting I appreciate your advise , guidance and input. You are absolutely wonderful !!! As for my father I still miss him and always will, I hope that maybe I can get the message across and save maybe one person from harming themselves or another person.
Some people choose to live their lives in a careless and reckless manner, and unfortunately it all too often affects us all. We can live our lives to the fullest, helping others in all the ways we can, and know that when our time has come, we have done all we can.
We often feel cheated if we are taken from this life due to others irresponsible and inconsiderate actions, when in fact is those who are left behind that are actually cheated. And we can only hope and pray that those responsible have recognized their faults and are actively pursuing a better way of life.
Jeremy, I couldn't agree more and what some may know and somemay not is that it hurts everyday , however we have to keep on going wiht our lives. I am sincerely happy that others are taking the time to read it and I hope that it is an eye opener.:)
thanks for sharing your experience and your thoughts. I am also keen to write about drinking and in particular drink-driving. The world has to change for the better.
Benson. I hope it does and all we can do is get the word out. I believe my father would be proud knowing that I am diligently working on having others acknowledge the truth.:)
Very well done. I hope I can get that good some day. I write a clean and sober blog and this is good work. thank you for sharing this.
God's Child, I thank you and the inspiration on this article came from the loss of my father. I miss him with all of my heart as I would talk to him faithfully everyday, and stop by and have coffe often. I spoke with him the day, before he past away and will not ever forget our conversation. He is in my heart and forever will be, and if I could turn the clock back, I think I would have said more. What comes from his passing, is sharing so that others will understand that it is not that they should never be able to drink as I cannot condemn that, it is just that they have to learn how to control it , and not let it control them and I ask that they do not get behind the wheel and drive. You are already on your way to writing brilliant articles, keep them coming. :)
very nice story nicely written
I feel for you AEvans, I truly do. Losing someone to this sort of thing must be heartbreaking, I do not know if I have the capacity to fogive someone who committed something like this to me.
TravelMonkey: That is the heart I have , I miss him with all of my heart but I cannot turn back the clock unfortunately , the only thing I can do is share my story and hopefully I will be able to save someone out there from the same pain we have been through.:(
Such a sad story, AE. I'm sorry to hear about this. As I've said in the past, I'm not against drinking, but alcohol kills over 100,000 people a year. Marijuana has NEVER killed a person, EVER! But they won't legalize it...weird. I don't advocate that people run around out of their minds all the time either, I just don't understand the logic of alcohol being okay, outside of a persons home. In my opinion, bars should be illegal. But then people couldn't have a few drinks at their friends house either, without having to drive home. It's a difficult situation, that's for sure. Again, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Thanks for sharing:)
MissJamie: I understand your thoughts tremendously , I am not for marijuana either but has been proven to be less harmful then alcohol. I miss him very, very much and I won't forget the last phone call the day before he died, I think about it sometimes and it hurts my heart. We can only continue to move on as he was a wonderful human being, and is dearly missed. :(
I am sorry for your loss. Not that this would bring your loving father back but have you considered filing a wrongful death lawsuit against the driver with the claim that the death of your dad was a result of the injury that was caused by the accident....It doesn't bring him back but you might get some feeling of justice from it.
Again...I am sorry for your loss.
I have never thought about that, could we even after all of these years? He should have been prosecuted, wouldn't they have to exhume his body?
no...if the medical records from the Doctors conclude his health problems were caused from the injuries and the cause of death coincide with that...I don't think that there would be need to exhume the body. The guy that caused the accident is still alive right? Also, you need to check your states statute of limitations since this is a civil suit. I would consult with a lawyer who specializes in wrongful death suits.
JJ, Thanks so much I will have mom look into this today..:) You are so smart, you should become an Attorney.:)
I would love to be one too. I have had alot of people tell me that all my life. I think maybe one day I will go back to school...that's why I went to school to be a Legal Secretary because I love legal stuff. I would love to be a lawyer and go in the court and plead my cases....exciting!!
You can do it!!! I know you definitely will..:)
it is very sa hear about this. i am truly sorry. that guy shoul have never gotten of that easily. what have he learned? nothing other than it is possile to get away with MURDER.i know that there is some kind of way you can get this guy no matter where it has happen. i am touched by this story so i decided to write about this story for my criminal justice class. i will ask my teacher about this case and see what he say, and i will be sure to let you know.
Classy1,
Thank you and you are welcome to share my store in class and link it if you wish. I miss the man I called Dad and the man walked away free , I do not understand I criminal justice system, I just hope that he doesn't do it to someone else.
I'm soooo sorry you lost your dear father this way, but I'm with jj - a wrongful death suit is the only way to get across to that guy the long-term consquences of his actions. As yet, no one has come up with a device to keep drunks from driving, and probably never will. Nor has the legal system. Something about having a vehicle in the equation makes killing or permanently injuring occupants of another while driving drunk makes it less of a "crime" than, say, shooting those same people or beating them. The mindset being there's no premeditation. To my thinking, getting behind the wheel intoxicated is "premeditation".
btw, talking on a cell phone while driving is just as bad as driving drunk. Even "hands free", one's concentration is on the conversation, not on the road or what other drivers are doing.
Jama, Thanks you so much for your thoughts and we are working on the wrongful death suit, but we are trying to find out the statue of limitations. I also believe when someone gets behind the wheel it is premeditated. I miss him and even when I talk about it , it still brings tears to my eyes.
People should as well pay attention when they use cell phones as that is also a serious cause of accidents and fatalites. Thanks for commenting. :)
Thank you for sharing this story, this hub is touching and I'm glad that you wrote about this. Have a great day Julianne! ~ Scott
scott: Thank you for reading it , when someone comments on it and appreciates it, I also heal and know I am getting the word across. :)
My heart goes out to you!! I just completed a hub about my father as well...he too was killed by a drunk driver, so I know all too well the pain and emptiness you feel. Thank you for sharing your story.
Montana: It is a sad thing and I was so angry at the beginning I could have harmed someone, but all aside I can only hope that some will heed the warning as it certainly doesn't feel good to lose a family member to somebody thinking they could drive. My heart goes out to you, as I also understand your heartbreak and pain. :(
AEvans -another excellent hub nice takes thnaks
this is a lesson for us to avoid drinking while driving.great hub story.thanks for share
There are no words to express my compassion and sorrow over the loss of your dear father. This kind of tragedy happens all too often.
The sad fact about drinking is that it impairs judgment. Even otherwise responsible people take risks thinking they are not as impaired as all that and can make it home. But I hear so often of people, now sober, who talk about driving in blackouts. Universally, they say this: I can't believe I used to do that, but I did. I could have killed myself or others. They are horrified, but at the time nothing could have kept them from driving that way.
I am glad you refer to MADD in your hub. They do a great job. I personally feel that all vehicles should have an ignition switch that disables the car if the driver is over the legal BAL limit. That removes the problem of human error once and for all. Is it punitive to responsible drivers? No. I don't think so. I do believe the slight inconvenience will be worth it to save lives.
AE, sorry to read your story; but I think it's always good to try to tell these stories. There's always a chance at least one potential drunken, criminal, driver may think twice because of it. Still, trouble is these idiots don't think anything bad will happen, and then they're shocked when it does. Sorry, too, to know you lost your father so recently.
I set up a blog just for the purpose of trying to send a similar message, because I was in a car hit head-on by a drunk, speeding, driver going 70 on the wrong side of the road. My 20-year-old friend was killed. The 27-year-old woman who hit us was fined $20 and lost her license for one (one!!!) year. If there's someone "up there" who may forgive this criminal one day it isn't my business. Even after decades I don't, and never will, forgive her. Nobody has a right to get in a car after drinking and risk killing innocent people. Saying they're sorry and didn't mean it doesn't cut once somebody is dead. Of course, if a lot of them are like the girl who hit us, they just say, "It was accident" and won't even feel remorse.
Lgali: I am glad that you read it and appreciated it.
prasetio30: I sincerely hope that others do learn from it, I realize I cannot save everyone but if there are a few out there I can then I will.
MM: Your strength about sharing what you did and what could have happened is powerful, I believe we have all did something and none of us are perfect. It still seems like yesterday that we lost him and coming back to this hub reminds me of who he was. I know if he is looking from up above that he is happy that I shared his story. I miss him dearly however I have gotten stronger since his death. Holidays are the hardest part but we still have mom for which we are blessed and greatful for. :)
LisaHW: First and foremost I am thankful that you are here, to talk about it and it saddens me to think you lost a friend over a drunk driver. It is very painful, and here is a lesson you should forgive the woman that killed your friend as she is battling her own demons and has to live the rest of her life with knowing that she killed someone, all over a drink. The law was wrong for only giving her a fine of $20.00 as life is priceless and that as well right now makes me angry as it was the law who failed and continues to fail many of us, it is the Alcohol and Tobacco who allows it to still flow. Heal yourself Lisa and forgive her we cannot bring them back but we can certainly fight for there rights. :)
AE, I've been healed for a good long time now. With the loss of your father being so recent, I know it will take time for you. Also, I don't compare the loss of a girlfriend, in any way, to losing your father through the same cause. It's just very, very, different, I lost my own father through natural causes, and I know how much "worse" it was to get past. You have the added "complication" of losing your father when it didn't have to happen.
I know that many people who have been victimized, or who have had someone close victimized, by a drunk/speeding driver find peace in forgiveness. I don't question their thinking if it works for them. I know, too, someone can't be always thinking about the grudge he holds (every hour of every day) for the rest of his life. That's not healthy. It's been so long for me now that I go from one week or month to another without ever thinking about the person who hit us, so I'm not harboring some "high-blood-pressure situation" over it.
My thing is I now have grown kids who are older than my girlfriend was. I now know the absolute horror my friend's mother/family must have gone through. Now that I'm where I am in life I almost see it as a far worse "crime" than I did back then. This girl who hit us didn't have a "drinking problem". She was out at a lounge, having a good time. I understand addictions, and I don't care who drinks - but the minute anyone ever gets into that driver's seat they're taking the risk of robbing someone else of his/her life, as well as robbing his/her family of a life with that person. There's just no excuse for being that stupid and cavalier about other people's lives. I just think forgiving should be reserved for people who didn't essentially make a decision to risk other people's lives. If someone makes a mistake even though he tried to do his best not to, that's forgivable. Driving drunk just isn't, I don't think. To me, there are some things that the whole society has to decide just not let people off the hook on, and this is one of them. I don't mean to "ugly up" your Hub or comments about forgiveness, and I don't "live ugly" because an ancient-history accident. As I said, I know that my "cold, dead, lack-of-forgiveness" comes from knowing how a mother feels about her 20-year old son or daughter or how kids feel about their own parents.
LisaHW: I honestly understand and you did not ugly-up my comments you were able to let it all out and that is what matters. You are not cold you simply understand the pain.
AE I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible loss. I'm amazed at your ability to try and garner some good from it as what's done is done and cannot be reversed. I can only imagine your pain, but your using it to teach others is a priceless gift that you are sharing and I appreciate you doing so.
Thanks for writing this and again I'm so sorry for the pain that this careless person caused your family.
RooBee: If it is one thing I have learned that is to forgive anyone that has caused you pain. Alcoholism is a disease and many suffer from the affliction. All of us have our own addictions however if I can allow others to read it, understand and learn something from it, it certainly brings closer for me. Thank you for your thoughts. :)
Thanks for sharing your story. People can never hear it enough. I am sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing someone to a drunk driver. It has happened twice to me. The first time me and my best friend were walking on the sidewalk in front of a school no less, when the drunk driver in words thought he was on the road plowed into us.
Killing my friend. I survived with injuries. The driver walked scott free. It was all pleaded out. It is sad they don't take driving drunk serious. They have campaigns and groups, but the laws just aren't enough. Especially if you kill someone.
crazybeanrider: Thank you and it is also sad that you had to also experience such a loss that is horrible! The driver should have been imprisoned but God knows there fate and they have to live with that for the rest of there lives, if they have a conscious I am certain they will do something about it. The laws should be tightened up because taking someone's life destroys a family forever. :(
I'm sorry for your loss. I know that your Dad would be so proud of you for what you are doing.
ftgmom: Thank you and I know he is looking down and is honored it still hurts deep within in my soul but hopefully I am saving someone's life. :)
That is so sadd, i would be so mad as well that person hadd no sence hopefully people wake up noww and see that its wrong DRINKING AND DRIVING IS WORNG!!!
Chanel: You are right it certainly is wrong until it happens to them they will not understand. But if one person decides after reading this that they will choose not to get behind the wheel then I have accomplished what I was set out to do and that is save a life or lives. :)
- phoenixpolicedepartment.com
phoenixpolicedepartment.com - Arizona @ Your Service
Arizona's official web portal main page. Separate pages are available for residents, employees, visitors, and businesses. - HubPages
HubPages is your online space to share your advice, reviews, useful tips, opinions and insights with hundreds of other authors. HubPages is completely free, and you can even earn online ad revenue!
GreatGoji says:
17 months ago
Ouch, that really is depressing especially for a fact that you had to lose someone special due to circumstances that has been caused by someone else's irresponsibility. It is why I always advice my close friend not to drive if he is drunk or not to drink if he is going to drive someone home.