I've been calling myself a vegetarian for almost 20 years, but I do slip up sometimes, and for smoked salmon I am WEAK!

Here's an incredibly easy-to-make recipe for a delicious bagel schmear or classy party dip.  It takes 5 minutes to whip it up and I predict your guests (and you!) will inhale it in half that time.

What you'll need:

A 4 oz filet of smoked salmon-- This is the most important part so don't skimp here.  I like to get the filet rather than the slices because it's much more flakey and flavorful.  Whole Foods sells these 4 oz filets of hot smoked, wild caught salmon for $4.99!  Get the one with peppercorns!  Trust me.

About a 1/4--1/2 of a brick package of Neufchatel cheese or cream cheese.  I like Neufchatel because it has a great flavor and has fewer calories and fat than full cream cheese.  But if you're one of those annoying people who don't need to worry about silly things like a waist line, or chubby thighs, you go full speed ahead and do your thing!  Heck, throw in the whole package.  I'm not judging you.

1/4 cup of crumbled feta cheese.  If you have an international grocery or Middle Eastern store near by, buy your feta here.  You'll get way more cheese for your cheddar if you know what I mean.  And anyway, support your independent business friends.

About 1 1/2- 2 tablespoons finely chopped red onion.  If you don't have a red onion, don't bother making this spread till ya do!  Really, I have tried using white onion in a pinch and it just isn't the same.

Some corsely chopped green onion.  I don't know.  Just eyeball this.  Enough to put about a tablespoon in your spread and then have some to sprinkle for garnish. 

About 2 teaspoons of dried dill weed.  I really like fresh dill, but in this case, I think dried works much better.

2 or 3 cherry tomatoes, cut in half. 

What you do:

Put all ingredients except: the cherry tomatoes and the green onion you're saving for your garnish into a mixing bowl.  Using an electric mixer, whip these ingredients into a pale pink cloud of salmony heaven. 

It's not going to be smooth, it'll just be nice and spreadable, with no discernable white blobs of cream cheese showing.

Use a spatula to get every last speck out of the bowl and pack it into 1/2 cup measuring cup.  Run a knife around the edge and plunk out the molded masterpiece.  Using a butterknife, smooth the top and edges. 

Top with the slices of cherry tomatoes and the green onions.  If I have capers, I add those too.  (These can also be found at your Middle Eastern grocery for cheap!)

If it's breakfast, toast a bagel and pile it on!

If it's party time, bagel chips fanned around the dip is a great presentation.

I can't eat either of those things, because I'm gluten-free.  So I like to toast some gluten-free bread and make a sammich.  Or, this is good on top of a bed of salad greens.

Enjoy, foodies!  And don't forget the breath mints after you've scarfed it down-- your loved ones will thank you.