How often have you received an e-mail, called the sender and asked a question only to be told, “That’s not what I meant.” How often have you sent an e-mail or letter and received a phone call from the recipient because he or she had questions or concerns and you found yourself responding, “No, no, no that’s not what I meant at all.” Or perhaps, “I was just joking. I thought you’d you know that.” Sometimes jokes can’t be recognized without tone, texture or body language. The result is hurt feelings. Remember if you need to put a smiley face after it, it wasn’t funny to begin with. Don’t take that risk. Minimize e-mails as much as possible.

And sspeaking of tone, remember there is no tone in the written word. A few examples will show us how important tone is. Let’s take this simple sentence.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. How many different ways are there for the reader to interpret that sentence. Think about it.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. I mean he did but I’m not the one who said it.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. I mean I inferred it and you interpreted that but I didn’t come right out and say it.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. I said she did.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. I said he put it in the fridge for you.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. I said he ate her sandwich.

I didn’t say he ate your sandwich. He ate your chips.

Think of the various ways you could interpret that one without tone or body language. You see how much the writer loses control and understanding is up to the interpretation of the reader.

You could view the question of words versus tone another way. The problem with trying to communicate through writing is that it is still 93% tone. Who sets the tone again? The reader or the writer. Yes, the reader. The writer loses all control.

For more tips, check out www.powerdiversity.com where you'll find videos, advice, tools, audios, and more information on on-site communication training, keynotes, and energy vampire slaying.