In order to enhance your self esteem you are going to have to go on an inner journey of sorts. It will be long and arduous, but it is worth more than all the gold in the world. As you go on this journey, don’t forget about the rainbow which is waiting for you at the end of the path. It certainly is not an easy thing to build your self esteem, and it’s not the sort of thing that we learn in school growing up, or even from our parents, so I will touch on some key pointers that I believe will speed things up a bit. So pay attention!

In thinking up different ways to build your self esteem for this article, it came to me that there are many roads which all lead to the same destination. So just keep that in mind as I throw some ideas out here.

First of all, self esteem does not come from other people. While it is always nice to hear genuine compliments and to feel the love of others, if you don’t really love yourself then that stuff will not really be able to penetrate through your so called shield of resistance. It is really your own belief that you are not worthy of the love. So the question becomes how do we change our own mind and beliefs about ourselves? That is the real question, and one that is not easily answered.

Some people advocate for standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself positive affirmations. Have you ever tried this? I have and in my case it certainly didn’t help! That seems like a pretty sketchy technique. Now, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if the mirror technique worked over a long period of time; I never had the discipline to do it for months on end. If you can do that, I would be interested to know if the mere repetition has an eventual effect to enhance your self esteem. In that case it would be like water slowly chipping away at rock over thousands of years: eventually something has to give. But do we really have “thousands” of years? Maybe there is a quicker way.

Here is one way to build self esteem which I can definitely say has worked for me in the past: do genuinely good things for other people. Put another way, this could be called “do the right thing”. Many wise people have suggested that our feelings about ourselves are the result of what we have put out there into the universe. This can seem a daunting task. I mean, who wants to start climbing out of the deep, dark pit of their own shady karma? Isn’t there an elevator I can take?

But the good thing about doing good deeds in order to enhance yours self esteem is that it can actually work instantly. I’m sure you have already had this experience. Maybe you have even had it today. You take care of a project you have been putting off, or you say something nice to someone who has been bugging you and lo and behold before you know it you have a little warmth going on in your soul. This is a great example of what I am talking about. The only problem is that you have to keep doing good things in order to keep this positive self esteem! It is definitely not a one time fixes all solution, but what is?

Now let’s take a look at how you can enhance the self esteem of your mate. This is a little tricky because as we pointed out earlier, it is not easy to effect changes on another person. And it is not easy for another person to effect changes on you. Nevertheless, it can be done.

The basic prescription here is to give strong, nonjudgmental love. It really doesn’t matter what you do or say, as long as it is coming from a pure and real place inside yourself. That is something that a lot of people miss. They think that they can kind of manipulate their mate into having higher self esteem. Anything manipulative will not work. It has to be a free gift freely given with no hidden motives.

Hidden in that little tip is also the key to enhance your self esteem as well. It all kind of goes together, doesn’t it? You really can’t help someone without helping yourself; nor can you be helped without helping someone else. This is the interconnectedness that we are constantly living within. It is vital to keep this in mind as you approach your own mountaintop of coming to a place where you finally feel okay with yourself. Also, believe me when I tell you that it is a real place.