Gossip is one of the most powerful, damaging, hurtful yet popular activities that maintains its presence in every facet of our society. It only makes sense that it would affect the workplace, right?

As an ex-Human Resources professional, I've often wondered why people engage in this behavior. Oh, Mon Frer, people in HR do it too and it can get twice as nasty as it does in the office because HR is behind closed doors. It's one of the nasty and unappealing parts of the job that prompted me to get the heck out of there. I've finally put together a hypothesis on this subject: I think people gossip because they want someone to side or agree with them. That's it.

And, if you've watched Oprah Winfrey at all, you will know that she has battled this particular activity in the workplace. This is before her fame of course but now the gossip has spread to the tabloids of Hollywood. She traded in one form of it for another, much to her chagrin.

One show she hosted was dedicated to Gossip. Between insecurity, prejudice, ladder climbers and the like, she has had to deal with gossip. I bet you have to. And, it isn't fun. I have dealt with it first hand and know that it can be a really devastating and hurtful experience. Oprah's word of wisdom? DO NOT SAY OR WRITE ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO PLASTER ON A BILLBOARD WITH YOUR NAME NEXT TO IT. Pretty clear and simple, right? If ole so and so is being difficult at work and you feel the need to say something to a friend....stop and remember Oprah's advice. I do. And, it's very effective.

Other effective means to deal with Gossip

1. Do not participate - PERIOD : If someone tries to engage you in the gossipy conversation, simply smile and say you have work to do. You may receive a bit of backlash, but not as much as if you had participated in it.

2. Change the Conversation - If someone says "Don't you agree that Mr. X is being rude to Cindy Sue?" Respond, "I didn't notice....hey, did you read that book by Taryn Simpson and Alan Solomon? It's great!"

3. Associate with other people who feel as you do. Discussing gossip doesn't benefit anyone.

4. Ask the person spreading gossip about a co-worker if they have gone to HR or their supervisor to file a complaint. When they say "No" (and they will) respond that maybe they should if it bothers them that badly.

5. When the gossiper tries to engage you about a co-worker, ask if they have discussed the issue with the person they are gossipping about. When they say "No" (and they will) respond, "Rather than talking to other people about it, try talking directly to the person. I know I would appreciate someone taking the time to discuss with me if something I was saying or doing was causing a problem. They probably don't even know it's a problem".

There! You have effectively steered the conversation away from demeaning anyone and provided some possible resolutions to the problem. Do this often enough, and people will get the hint that you don't care to gossip.

Gossip affects the workplace, the morale, people and lives. People have even been fired for gossiping! It's a harsh move, but one that is causing other employers to sit up and take notice.

Because nobody likes a gossip. Don't you feel the same way?