There He or She is. They fullfill al your dreams. They make your heart sore. All your wildest fantasies about [romance] are realized by their slightest touch.

The sound of their voice is like, thousands of violins playing. You embrace perfection when you hold your lover in your arms.

This is your first experience with passion, your first time letting, your emotions run free. Your mind tells you that what you are experienceing is [IT]. This is true love and the end of your search for your sole mate. The Ying to your Yang.

But saddly as time passes the picture fades, the violins turn to screams of mental anguish. The days that were once so sunny and bright, with the prospect of being with your [true-love]; become part of an on going nightmare, of dread and a feeling of entrapment.

Where did it all go wrong? What happened to the bliss and euphoria, of the [true love] you thought you'd found.

FACING YOUR OWN DIS-ILLUSIONMENT

Lets go back to the beginning. First clue. Was it really that person sastifying all your wants and needs, for a healthy, nourishing romantic realationship, or was it you fabricatiing happiness? A combination of immaturity, unrestrained desire. and an irrepressable will, bending thiings to your imagination?

The other perosn was a victim of and caught up in your, manipulation and self delusion. Helpless under the weight of your overwhelming insistance, that this is [it];the end of your search for the perfect love.

Soon unable to continue to live up to your expectations, or confrom their behavior, to the lies they are living; to keep your company, the whole pretense falls apart.

You are left totally devistated and experiencing, deep feelings of depres-sions. You are asking yourself questions like: what's wrong with me?- How could I have been so blind?-Will there ever be someone for me?

A PERFECT TIME TO RE-GROUP

Your first experience with love has been a heartbreaker. Why? Because you played your self.

You wanted love so bad that you created a perfect love out of what could have been a lasting friendship, or an encounter with a psssing aquaintence.

Question is will this bad experience dictate how you look at love for the rest of your life? Will it eventually spoil your chance at having that perfect love, when it does come along; or will you develop issues that cause you to sabatoge your own future happieness.

This is why so many parents caution their children about getting envolved in commited realationships, before they mature psychologically.

Why they encourage them to seek maturity, and some experience with people and their own emotions, before they engage in the physical aspect of a loving relationship.

True love is not, as some people say, does not exist on a give and take basis. It takes place in a totally giving environment. Each party has to be able to trust the other person with out reservation.

This means using your mature powers of observation, and preception, to size the other individual up; before you commit your emotinal future to there control and safe keeping. One of the purposes of [dating] is not to see how long it takes to have [sex], but to get to know the true character of the other party.

How do they react in streesfull situations. Do they have issues, with emotional honesty and sharing. Do they openly acknowledge their feelings for you, or do you have to choax, words of endearment out of them? Are you doing all the work to maintain the balance in the relationship or does the other person meet you half way?

THE RIGHT PERSON FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.

Most of us tend to choose our first love, based on peer group fantasies; rather than mature understandings of what real love should offer.

The person is popular. They are socially adept. They are attractive, manorable, and sought after by many other suitors.

These type of people, unless they are persuing you and check out to be emotionally honest; are desasters waitning to happen; for the emotionally inexperienced and immature.

[Heart break] wearing a smile. They may play along with your fantasy for a time, but soon they miss the notoriety and social esposure. But rather than be honest about their true intentions, form the start, and their narccasitic, need for attention; they manipulate the other person into believing they are the problem.

Some even become verbably and physically abusive, in fact these traits are more common than uncomon in this type of A-social individual.

Sometimes we feel we can help. Our feelings of nourturing and compassion, betray us to loveless relationships that end badly when we realize we can't change anyone but our selves.

Failures in love take on many disquises and come with many faces. But avoid ing these pittfalls can be made easy by; first knowing yourself.

Know who your are, and what you need to maintain your emotional balance. And above all know what you will, or will not, settler for in a relationship.

When you meet someone you feel may be a good candidate for your deepest affections, emotionally and physically; don't just give yourself away, like some bargin basement, door prize.

Anyone worth having is worth waiting for, and their love is worth, working for. Is the other person capable and willing to make changes; when necessary to live up to your requirments, for a longterm realationship.

Don't fill in the blanks here, take your time, get to know the person, and make a final judgement based their observed behavior. In other words do not arrange manipulated [tests] let this happen naturally.

Are you willing to make changes to live up to the other persons expectations for a longterm relationship? Wanting the other person so baddly; for all the wrong reasons may cause you to deny incompatabllity, and set the stage for future desaster.

BEST BET FOR LONG TERM SUCCESS.

Find some one who meets your requirements, and loves themself, but loves you more. Make sure you are capatable on [every] other level and capable of the changes that will be needded to keep the experience of love fresh.

Finding ways to make each day a new quality experience in your love affair is something you will have to work at.

If entered into, with a mature out look, and goals for emotional success. Your first love can be, a love at first sight experience, that lasts a life time.

Rushing head long into a relaitonship just for the superficial euphoria that comes from the exchange of fleshly desires; can leave you emotionally scarred, for life; and incapable of ever experiencing ture love; out of fear of being hurt, again.

It can also turn you into an emotional preditor, breaking the hearts of those you become involved with and them leaving them dismayed and rejected.

True love does exist. It is out here for those who have the maturity and courage to face the truth about it.

1.You have to be preapared to give more than you take. But emotional wisdom will help you choose the right mate, and make true love a rewarding experience.

2.All that glitters, ain't gold-Beautys only skin deep. If it looks good to you it looks equally as good to some one else.

3.If you are being chosen is it for a moment of a life time?

4. Are you both mature adluts, our are you applying for a babysitting job?

5. Do you care enough about each other to make changes when necessary?

6. How do you both feel about having kids.

7. Does eduactinal experience matter.

8.Will the realtionship survive infidelity.

9. Are there any family ralation issues.

10. Do you love each other more than life itself.

It doesn't mean I can't live with out you. It means I rather not have to.

LIVE, LOVE, AND BE HAPPY