FUNNY PENGUINS Collection: Top 8 Funny Penguins Jokes from Funny Penguins Cartoons

(Contributed by anonymous)

How do Penguins drink their cola?

On the rocks.

What´s black and white and goes round and around?

A Penguin in a revolving door.

Why don´t you see Penguins in Britain?

Because they´re afraid of Wales.

Who is a Penguin´s favourite pop star?

Seal.

What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?

Starfish.

Why don´t Penguins like rock music?

They only like sole.

Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they haven´t got any pockets.

What´s black & white, black & white, black & white and black & white?

A penguin rolling down the hill.

***

(Contributed by anonymous)

What do Penguins sing on a birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow.

What do mother Penguins say to their children before they go out in the dark?

Beak....careful out there.

Why do two Penguins in a nest always agree?

Because they don´t wanna fall out.

What do Penguins have for lunch?

Icebergers.

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost.

Why don´t polar bears like penguins?

Cause they can´t get their wrappers off.

Where do penguins go to dance?

To the Snow ball.

What´s black, white & red all over?

A penguin with a sunburn.

***

Contributed by Badtux the non-Arizona Penguin)

A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

***

(Contributed by anonymous)

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver... "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"

The man in the car says... "I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven't a clue."

The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

"Hey, they're still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!"

"Oh, I did," says the driver, "and we had a great time. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

***

(Contributed by anonymous)

Frank is driving a truck load of penguins across Europe to the Antwerp zoo (replace with geography and zoo relative to your city). Near the Belgian-German border, his truck breaks down. Frank inspects the damage, sees his truck will need to be towed to a garage and so tries to flag down another truck for help.

Finally, David pulls over and asks Frank, "what's the matter?"

Frank says, "My truck has broken down and it is full of penguins that need to be taken to the zoo today! Are you carrying anything?"

David says, "no."

Frank continues. "Great! I'll give you 500 Euro if you take these penguins to the zoo for me."

David says, "sure."

So they load the penguins into David's truck and David drives away towards Antwerp. Meanwhile, Frank calls a garage to come fix his truck.

The next day, Frank finally arrives in Antwerp. Imagine his surprise, then, when he sees David walking down the street with all the penguins; hand-in-wing, wing-in-wing.

"What the hell are you doing with the penguins!?" shouts Frank, "I told you to take them to the zoo yesterday!"

"I did," said David calmly, "but I had some money left over. So I'm taking them to see a movie today."

***

(Contributed by anonymous)

A penguin walks into a bar and asks for a sandwich and a pint! The bartender is astounded by this talking flightless bird and asks about his life. The penguin goes on to explain that he is working at the building site across the road.

Weeks go by and the penguin becomes a regular lunchtime fixture at the bar. One day a circus comes to town and who should walk into the pub, but the ringmaster. He starts chatting to the barman and learns of the talking penguin who frequents his establishment.

Amazed at this and somewhat skeptical, the ringmaster retorts that if this is true then he would draw in the crowds with an act such as a talking Antarctic bird. The barman says that the penguin should be in soon as it was nearly lunchtime. So the King of the Ring sits in the corner and waits.

Sure enough in walks the penguins and orders his pint of Guinness and his tuna sandwich. The ringmaster walks over after hearing the penguin's food request to introduce himself to the amazing bird.

"Hello there," said the Ringmaster, "I run the circus that's in town and I am always on the lookout for new talent. Can I offer you a job?"

"Is it that big tent in the park?" said the penguin.

"Yes," replied the Ringmaster.

"The big round tent with the pole sticking out at the top and the flaps and ropes?"

"Yes, Yes my feathered friend."

"Don't be daft," said the penguin. "I'm a plasterer!" and walked back to the building site.

***

(Contributed by anonymous)

What did the sea say to the iceberg ?

Nothing, it just waved.

Where do penguins go to dance?

At the snow ball.

Why did the penguin cross the road ?

To go with the floe .

What do penguins eat for lunch?

Ice burg-ers.

How do penguins drink?

Out of beak-ers.

What's a penguin's favorite salad?

Iceberg lettuce.

***

(Contributed by anonymous)

Who's the penguin's favorite Aunt?

Aunt-arctica .

Who's the head of the penguin navy? Admiral Byrd.

How does a penguin make pancakes?

With its flippers.

What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator ?

I don't know, but don't try to fix its bow tie .

Why are penguins good race drivers?

Because they're always in the pole position.

What do little penguins sing when their father brings fish home for dinner?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What do you call a gigantic polar bear?

Nothing, you just run away!

***

Here is related link to other funny penguin's cartoons

-www.asianbraincartoons.com