Call it what you want, lack of success, falling short of the goal, missing the mark… any way you look at it, it’s considered failure, it’s sad and not fun but as the saying goes… It is what it is.  No one likes failing and it is definitely a bummer when we find ourselves in a situation where we have been unsuccessful.  Since failure is so unappealing, most people want to avoid it… unfortunately there is always a likelihood we could fail, a lot of us, maybe even if it be subliminally, arrive at the conclusion, the only real way to avoid such a debacle is to avoid to endeavor altogether. How sad. If we avoid it, if we stop trying, we’ve deprived ourselves at the chance of greatness all because we’re afraid we’ll land somewhere south of there.

It is uncomfortable to think about what could be lost when we don’t succeed, after all, we are looking for something more, not less, and if we come out with less than we started with it seems foolish to even try… That is merely an excuse based in fear, maybe you’ve heard the saying “You get what you pay for” or “You get what you don’t pay for”… What’s it really worth to you, are you looking for something amazing, then why aren’t you willing to go all in.  It clearly isn’t the great thing you’re making it out to be if you don’t even want to invest in it. The “what if’s” can drive a person crazy… but that’s all they are “what ifs”, yes, there are liabilities in any investment, so we must stop allowing ourselves to hold back just because something MIGHT happen… and so what if it does?? What is it really worth to you?  Is it worth starting again, I think yes.

It seems failure could never be synonymous with anything good however, there is one massive benefit…the wisdom gained when we learn from our mistakes. Sure, we do learn when we go through a process that ends in success, but there is something deeply valuable in discovering what not to do. Perhaps it’s that we’ve lost something, be it lots of time, energy, and effort or maybe even money - when our dedication returns amiss we look deeper at the process, we want to know what we did, what worked, why it worked, what didn’t work… why it didn’t work and so on. Our experience becomes an asset, we gain merit when we give advice to others going through something similar… because we’ve been there and done that.  It’s never a perfect formula, sometimes one thing will work in one situation and not in another but the more you try, the more experience and diversification you gain to go through many situations. 

To me, there is no greater asset than wisdom; there are many stories of one-hit-wonders, who make it big with a song or a script or something, they become instantly rich but then frivolously use up everything they’ve gained in a short time… With no plan for future projects and no savings or investments to have for the long haul, they’ve ended up right where they started.  However, if some of these people lucky enough to experience the Cinderella life would have applied some wisdom to their success; they would have ended up in a much different situation, with security and the opportunity to go onto something greater. 

When I think about failure, I’m reminded of the synopsis of Abraham Lincoln’s life, he was truly a man who continued to try, and our nation is ONE nation in part to him. Many of us have probably seen the encouraging email forwards, but bare with me…here’s a quick rundown…

• 1831 - Lost his job
• 1832 - Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
• 1833 - Failed in business
• 1834 - Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
• 1835 - Sweetheart died
• 1836 - Had nervous breakdown
• 1838 - Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
• 1843 - Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
• 1846 - Elected to Congress (success)
• 1848 - Lost re-nomination
• 1849 - Rejected for land officer position
• 1854 - Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
• 1856 - Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
• 1858 - Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
• 1860 - Elected President (success)

Now of course there is a story to each one of those moments, maybe some weren’t the momentous failures that email forwards have dramatically made them out to be. No matter what the explanation, I see a man who didn’t quit no matter what the reason. Abraham Lincoln was a great president, a leader our nation needed in a very tough time, among many of the things he is known for is the Gettysburg address, take some time and listen to it… they are inspiring words. 

Lincoln’s speech is not very long but his words have strength, there is depth to what he says, perhaps because he had some personal qualification to speak on facing disappointment but moving forward. I love this part,” …but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced” (Source: Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, edited by Roy P. Basler.),  He was there at Gettysburg to remember those who had given their lives and notice he calls their work “unfinished”, he did not say “they tried, they died, we’ve failed”, no it was a call to move forward despite the unfortunate circumstances.  There is weight in sacrifice, choices must be made, but if we never try, we never succeed and in that… we’ve failed. The future is unknown, there could be more disappointment in the days ahead but no matter how a situation ends, if we learn from it, we’ve only increased our future chances of greatness.  We cannot to make all our effort useless, in failure we receive the great gift of wisdom; we owe it to ourselves to see just how lucky we are to have new found insight.

Conquer fear by looking it square in the eye.  Years ago I was babysitting some little girls for the weekend.  We had gone out for the evening and parked in the garage when we got home, so we came in through the garage door.  The youngest was going to go upstairs to change into her pjs, and she came back around the corner and said, “Libby, did you come in the front door, because it’s open”… My stomach dropped, my mind raced and I thought, “NO I DIDN’T COME IN THE FRONT DOOR!!! SOME ONE MUST BE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!”  I didn’t say that to her, I said… “Um, yeah… Hey ah – why don’t you stay down here and pick out what movie to watch” I called my dad, daddy to the rescue, right?  He said, “I’m sure no one is in there, you probably just didn’t shut it all the way”… Maybe, I thought.  Then he said, “You need to check the house”…. I NEED TO CHECK!  I was so freaked out, he kept saying, “I’m right here, you’ll be fine”… I’m thinking, you’re miles away – I’m the one here.  So I head up the stairs, and proceed checking in all the rooms, in all the closets, under  ALL. THE. BEDS.  So far clear, that’s good.  Just one place left to check… the basement. (Sounds like a horror movie, right?) So down the stairs I wasn’t, it wasn’t a walk out, just a regular old basement, with lots of boxes piled, plenty of places for a maniac to hide… I got to the last corner… behind the furnace.  My dads still “there” for me on the other end of the line… and he was right.  No one but us was in that house.  Nothing was taken; it was simply a matter of not closing the door all the way.  My fear was real, but the truth was, there was nothing to be afraid of.  With some help and encouragement I was able to behave rationally, face the circumstances and prove my anxiety wrong.  That’s how we need to address fear of failure, hunt after it, check in every nook and cranny.  If you happen upon an intruder, fight for your life – since your dad is on the phone and is there for you - throw the phone at them and run if you have to, just don't give in. 

Fear is irrational, action is rational.  Fear is based in imagination and past hurts, action is based in reality and the idea of something better tomorrow.  Don’t let fear of failure hold you back, only those who never try are the ones who truly fail.