Everyone, at one time or another, has to face their past. It always comes back to haunt us. I am no different. In the past 10 months, I have been on a quest to re-design my life. So far, it has worked, but not without many visits into my past. Some visits have been more painful than others, but all have been constructive.

My children have played a large part in those visits. They have expressed to me their many thoughts and opinions of their lives growing up. Things like physical abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse had become almost a normal part of life. Now they tell me how they felt while this was happening. I hurts me to know that I could have prevented them from being a part of it.

The only thing I can say to them or to myself about it all, is that I am okay now, I am strong, they are away from it, and so am I. Gathering the strength to survive it was not easy. I look back and see things that I don't want to see, but I cannot change the things that have happened. I wish I could.

So here I am, 10 months later, and I am doing great! I take everything that has happened to all of us, as do my children, and do my best to ensure that the negativity doesn't continue to play a dominating role. You see, I look at things like this. It was bad, very bad, but I have a choice now, just as I did then. I can either choose to let it run the rest of my life, or I can take charge of my destiny and control it.

Sometimes the most important thing is maybe not knowing what you want, but knowing what you don't want. My girls are wonderful and strong, and as a result of the past they now live with, they are careful not to be in the same situation I was. I tell them to make footsteps of their own, don't follow every one of mine. They know the signs, the words and the actions, and they know how to avoid it. They also know that they are important to many people, but most importantly, to themselves.

I have come a long way. I have a wonderful job now, and my life is peaceful. I am happy with who I am. I am not sure where the inner strength comes from, I am just glad it is there. I have finally grown to like the skin I'm in and I am comfortable in it too. It felt very good about a month ago, to tell my husband, that I have been separated from for 10 months, that my future does not have a place for him. I can't go back to that, and I won't. Yes, it was hard, but not nearly as hard as I had once thought.