I don't know why I do the things I do.  But, I do.  Lance & I are moving back to Oregon in less than a month.  I think I may be insane.  It's not that I don't like Oregon...I do...it's just that this wasn't in the plans at all.  We were going to stay here for another couple years, I'd finish my Master's, he'd finish his second Bachelor's, & then we'd settle down somewhere else in the Texas Hill Country.  I might work on my PhD & he would probably end up starting his own company.  We'd probably have a couple kids.  It all looked so pretty on paper.

Then, I applied for a job.  So dumb.  It was this amazing-sounding job, & I definitely didn't have the required 10+ years experience, so I figured I would throw my name in, then never hear back.  I heard back.  Then I heard back again...and again...and the job was offered.  It kept sounding better & better, & it made sense in a lot of ways: our renters were moving out of our house in Oregon, it would be vacant, we could move back into our own house. 

BUT, I was hesitant--was this really the way things were going to go?  Would we really do a 180 & head in the opposite direction?  I waited for clarity, hoped that the decision would jump out at me like a clown from a jack-in-the-box.  It came unexpectedly when a door was shut for future advancement at my current position.  With a single answer, "no," I knew my fate.  Back to Oregon.

I'm nervous.  I'm not going to play it off like I'm not.  I don't know how I feel about the 9 months of rain.  I don't know how it will all work out.  The position I'm taking on is a huge one...what if I don't like it...what if it's too much...

These thoughts come, but I brush them aside.  The decision is done, we're going, and all I can do is have faith that whatever comes is meant to come, that we'll take it on with strength and tenacity whether it's pain or glory.