My father is a 54 year old diabetic who has had one heart attack and bi-pass surgery, currently has hypertension, smokes cigarettes constantly and is seriously obese. He didn’t just wake up this way; he was classically conditioned to be this way. He is the second to the youngest of nine children, mostly boys, growing up poor in San Antonio’s south side of town he was forced to compete for resources (food) while growing up. There just never seemed to be enough to go around, and his mother, divorced from the father of her first seven children, was too proud to get on government aid. In fact, he once told me a story about a time when a social worker went to their house and his mother threw rocks at her and told her to get the hell off her property! My grandfather, married to a woman unable to have children, met my grandmother and later had two sons with her, the other children immediately recognized him as their father because of the abuse her ex-husband inflicted on her time after time.

My father was in sports, so he had to eat a lot to keep up with all the calories he was burning while playing football, which turned into over-eating as an adult. He has been over-weight for the past 27 years, and thinks he still needs all those calories when he doesn’t exercise the way he used to. Unfortunately, he has the worst table manners, sometimes I can’t tell if he even breaths in between bites, and eats until he feels sick. Growing up, he would make comments like “Eat. There may not be food tomorrow so enjoy today!” We were not allowed to waste a single bite even though we never had a scarcity of food in our house. This turned into my own battle with food, since my parents never exercised and never ate healthy foods-I had to teach myself as an over-weight adult. Additionally, as a result of my father's behaviors, I don't smoke and I hate gambling because of the affects I have witnessed in my parent's lives.

The way in which an individual is raised during childhood, like my father, food is the neutral stimuli, the competition to fill up was the conditioned stimuli, which developed into my Father’s conditioned response of over-eating as an adult. This has proven to be very dangerous and harmful to his health. He likes to put bacon grease in refried beans, which is a very old practice in Mexican cuisine, but because if it’s detrimental effects, Mexican restaurants no longer prepare their refried beans like that. He often suffers from indigestion, heartburn, sour stomach, severe gas, and high blood-sugar from over-eating a lot of starches and sweets. No matter how much we try to encourage him to change, he doesn’t care, and thinks that if he is going to die, he is going to die eating whatever he wants. It is actually sad to see this type of self-destructive behavior, he suffers from shortness of breath performing simple tasks such as walking up the stairs to his room and at times, simply tying his shoes seems to be a heavy chore for him. I’m certain that smoking a pack of cigarettes contributes to his high blood pressure, shortness of breath and poor circulation, as well.

Additional harmful effects from his over-eating is back problems from carrying all that weight, foot and leg cramps because of his poor circulation, and suffers from constant fatigue from eating until there is no room left. Over the years we’ve tried different diets and interventions with him but to success, he just gets upset and defensive. My mother is no help either, she does nothing to change his behavior, she just adds to it. My whole life, my father has always told my mother what to make for dinner; she obediently does so, and never intervenes or tries to help him. In addition to his over-eating and cigarette smoking, he loves to gamble, which does nothing to help him. He will sit there for hours on a slot machine, pressing buttons and chain smoking, which eventually caused my parents to lose the home I grew up in. My siblings and I have tried to help him, but have all given up because he refuses to change. He gets so defensive that he will curse profanities at us and we simply cower away. To make matters worse, he works in a call center where he sits at a desk and talks on the phone all day.

Surprisingly, recent developments had changed his behavior drastically. His company started a Biggest Loser contest with the potential of winning $700-$1000, joining his other habit of gambling (a neutral stimuli) with encouraged weight-loss (conditioned stimuli) to help him lose weight and eat healthy foods (the conditioned response) it ultimately encouraged a healthy lifestyle. No matter who won the contest, my father is a winner in my book. I had been supportive and gave him as much motivation as possible so that he wouldn’t give up. I was so proud of him, that I volunteered to be his personal trainer, we fought a little but, but overall, we were bonding as I encouraged him to keep pushing forward. I had hoped that when the contest was over, that he would continue to eat right and exercise. He was discouraged when he didn’t win, but he gave up half way through, and when the winner was announced, he acted like it didn’t bother him. The guy that won was actually about a hundred pounds heavier then my father, and he thought that maybe that guy needed it more then he did. Since then, he has continued on the same self-destructive path he was on before the contest started.

This behavior is common in my father’s generation of poor Hispanic men and it affects the overall life-span of their demographics. Unfortunately, Hispanic women have been following in their footsteps, causing both genders to leave their families with the legacy of an unhealthy lifestyle. While our parents and grandparents die of heart disease, strokes, diabetes, and cancer, we are left with the heart ache of watching them suffer a slow, painful, death. No matter how much their families try to support them and encourage them to change, they are too stubborn to listen. Both parents are overweight, but my father exhibits a lack of self control, whereas my mother attempts to go for walks and lightens up on her portions, she doesn’t change the content of her diet at all. Somehow, I managed to educate myself and lost one hundred pounds in less than two years by diet and exercise; I tried to be a source of inspiration, only to be mocked by parents and siblings while they told me I needed to eat.

One night, in an attempt to show them how eating healthy can taste good, I made vegetable spaghetti. I used Prego sauce, added cooked frozen veggies, ground turkey with Italian spices and Worchester sauce, and instead of spaghetti noodles, I used spaghetti squash. They absolutely loved it, but it didn’t change a thing! I am constantly telling my Mother to add vegetables to everything she makes, but to know avail. I ask her to warm up tortillas on a grill instead of frying them up for tacos and nothing. Although it seems that they don’t care, I don’t want to give up on them, not yet. I know, as a reader, you are awaiting a happy ending, but there isn’t going to be one. If you can relate to my story, have any comments or suggestions… please feel free to voice them here in my comments box. Thank you for reading my Hubpage.