It is a well known fact that children suffer when fathers are not present in their lives. It is of utmost importance that you as a father remain involved in your children's lives...even if your ex-wife is trying to push you out. Study after study confirms that fatherless homes have a detrimental effect on children.

Fathers should not have to fight in court and pay thousands in legal fees simply to keep the same level of contact they had with their children prior to divorce.

When a court decides custody, the judge uses what is called the best interest rule. Decisions about parenting time are made based on what is considered to be in the best interest of the child in that particular situation. The court considers each parent's parenting skills and abilities, mental health, stability, parenting history, any conflicts with the law (crime or child abuse), substance abuse (alcohol, drugs) and try to determine the parent's ability to create a loving environment for the child.

In an ideal situation, the court is going to look at the specifics of your family's situation and make an unbiased decision based on what is going to benefit your child the most.

However, it sometimes happens that the family courts automatically assume that the mother is the better parent, even if there is evidence to the contrary. Every day in courts across the country, fathers are forced to pay thousands in legal fees and spend months in court just to remain involved in their children's lives. Unfortunately, it is the children that suffer most from these gender biased procedures.

Why this happens is another story. In many cases men seeking custody of their children capitulate their position and resign themselves to asking how much visitation time they can get. However, when a father takes the time to educate himself about how the family court system works and applies this knowledge to his own case, then he stands a greater chance of getting the result he wants.

Even if you and your wife are going through the divorce amicably and seem to be cooperating to find a solution that's best for your children, it is vitally important that you seek the advice a child custody expert. He or she can help you work through important issues that you may not otherwise think of, such as what happens if your wife wants to move out of state with the kids after the divorce, or under what conditions can the custody agreement be changed, or how important it is to come up with a common child-rearing philosophy.

When you are seeking custody of your child, the first thing you need to know is there are two kids: physical custody and legal custody.

--- Physical custody --- refers to where the children live on the regular basis. Courts generally prefer that parents have joint physical custody so that children have regular contact with both parents. Joint physical custody doesn't always mean an exact 50/50 time split where your child will get to spend equal time with both parents. If children are with one parent most of the time, that parent is usually granted sole physical custody, while the other parent is granted visitation rights.

The parent with physical custody has a right to move away with the kids, in which case the  noncustodial parent will have to go to court and prove that the move would be harmful to the kids. So if your wife's lawyer tries to tell you that it doesn't matter whether you let your wife have sole physical custody, do not believe

---Legal custody --- refers to the right to make decisions about your children welfare, such as where they go to school, what religion they practice, or about their health care, etc. If you decide to seek joint legal custody, both parents must agree upon any major decisions about a child’s life.

Courts make decisions about legal and physical custody separately. So you may get joint legal custody, but your wife may get sole physical custody and you will get visitation rights.

There is no single formula for winning custody of your child. Therefore, it is crucial to discuss child custody issues with an experienced divorce attorney. A lawyer who has experience in child custody cases should inform you of your rights as a father and tell you how likely you are to get full custody of your children.

In case when you are not likely to will receive full custody of your children, your lawyer should advise you on what you are entitled to. He or she should also be able to provide assistance in preparing a plan so you can spend as much time as possible with your kids and be the father that you want to be to be to your son or daughter.