Fathers day not just for men any more!

Fathers day has traditionally been an occasion to celebrate the men in our childrens and our own lives. It all began in Spokane Washington when a young woman who had lost her mother, was listening to a mothers day sermon. She decided that because her father was now her primary care giver, she wanted to celebrate him as we do our own mothers. Her fathers birthday was in June. On June 19th 1910 we celebrated the first fathers day.

As a single parent I do not only play mom which is often defined as the nurturer and housekeeper, but I also pay dad who is usually the disciplinarian. In a gay and lesbian parenting household how does one decide who is defined as mom or dad? in traditional families a father is determined to be father because he is male. Moms are female. So what do you do when there are two men or two women? Why is it so important that we be defined as being one or the other?

Any one wondering what my point is?

What I am trying to say is I think it is time we stop defining each other as being only one thing. As I mentioned I am not just a mother nor am I just a father. I think it is one thing to celebrate an individual male or female for their parenting role in a two parent family, but with the ever growing single parent household perhaps we ought to consider an alternative to the mothers day and fathers day celebration.

Out of the 20 people I was able to discuss this with all but one agreed that there ought to be equal celebration for single parents on fathers day and mothers day. Meaning that on Mothers day not only women should be given attention. Those men out there raising a child on their own should be celebrated for there motherly duties. The same goes for women on Fathers day.

The rate of single parents, adoptive gay and lesbian parents has risen significantly. Now with the new legislation being passed allow gay and lesbian couples to legally be married that rate may rise even more. in 2004 the rate of unmarried women constituted 36% of all births ( http://www.childstats.gov). 14,100 of the children in foster care are living with gay and lesbian couples.

We do not live in the 50's any more where premarital sex is unheard of and single parents are few and far between. There is no longer just Mom and Dad. There is no cookie cutter parent any more or a singular definition for what makes a mom or a dad. I think we all equally need to be celebrated for the challenges we have faced and for our fight to give our children a good and happy life. Regardless of whether you are single, gay, or a strait married couple, we all share a common goal. We want our children to be happy, healthy and successful. In knowing that I think we all need to be celebrated as parents!