When my children were young, I was asked to be an aide in the preschool classroom. It started me on a path that ended just five years ago when I retired from the classroom. During this span of fifteen years I was a preschool teacher for ages 3 and 4, an art teacher for grades kindergarten through sixth, a substitute for the myriad of grades in elementary school and junior high, a librarian assistent, and a SPED aide for four emotionally handicapped sixth grade boys. Also for three years I was an instructor for a "gifted" program for seventh and eighth graders to prepare for the chance to take the SAT's. My own two children went through the college SAT and search process in and around the time I investigated this "gifted" program and I discovered some things I hope will be helpful for other parents worrying about the whole process.

This gifted program was offered only to students who had scored in the 90 percentile on the California Achievement Test in sixth grade. The program I was supposed to teach was given to me by the principal of the junior high school, or what is now called Middle school. The big answer that I was supposed to impart all came from the college boards, a website available free of charge to anyone with a computer and Internet access and the time to sit with your child and go through it all.

It was sad to hear that some of my children's friends' parents were spending hundreds of dollars on SAT prep classes when all they had to do was go to this site. It offers the ability to sign up and plan for the entire college experience. A student and his/her parents can explore schools that best fit the individual criteria of that student and their family by population, location, major, etc. The student can individualize their page to keep track of their progress towards finding the perfect school. It's all in there.  Please take the time to fully explore the site.

But on to the big test. The SATs. It is a test that can strike fear into the heart of most parents and students. Some students become so paranoid that they study and study and fret and, well, do themselves no good. Some students feel so overwhelmed that they give up before they start. Some pretend the scores don't really matter while others believe the scores are the end-all-be-all. It is my humble opinion after watching my own children, and all their friends, of hearing horror stories, and going through teaching the how-to for the SATs that both are correct to some degree.

If your child wishes to be go to an Ivy League school, or MIT or CalTech, then yes, the SAT scores are very important, but so is the accumulation of their entire high school life. For a career in science or math, there is no getting around the grades and test scores. But these schools also like to see a life behind the studying. Well-rounded is something you will hear a lot of. Believe in it. High school is also about being young and experiencing a little bit of fun. Developing good study habits is the better course for any student but also knowing when to take a break and blow off some steam. To give a life story to illustrate this point, my daughter attended an all girl Catholic high school. The valedictorian of the senior class during her sophomore year did not, I repeat, did not get into Harvard. She had a 4.9 GPA, was president of the Latin club, the Math club, and student government president. She came back to school in tears after her interview. She had not participated in any sports. She had not taken the time away from studying for any kind of afterschool function whether it be a job or charity work. They told her and I quote, "Harvard represents the best of the best but the best are well-rounded. You are an excellent student. Come back to us next year after you've had a bit more experience. Maybe you can transfer in." This girl had worked very hard for four years. Harvard was the only school she had applied to. She had to hurry and apply to other schools that she had not done any research on. She did get accepted into a small liberal arts school in western Massachusetts, and yes, she transferred into Harvard. She was not going to take "no" for an answer. She called it getting in through the back door but she claimed it was fine with her. She was finally at Harvard.

If your child wants to go to a liberal arts school, then the scores are important but it seems these school favor the avenue of looking at the whole picture more. What classes did the student take in high school? Honors? What did they sign up for as extra-curricular? Did they play sports? My son played lacrosse for three years and was checked out by representatives from Holy Cross. Did the student get involved in student government? What about the drama department? My son took drama as an extracurricular and he discovered what I knew all along. He is hysterically funny. His improv became a sensation and he found he wasn't as afraid of speaking in front of people. It has served him well as he is now an instructor at the college he attended and some of the students are his age.  The improv is serving him well.  Did the student have an after-school job? Some jobs can parlay into credits given, but if not can still only enhance the recommendations offered to the schools. My daughter worked in a camera store and the school she went to gave her credits towards her photography degree. The letter of recommendation for her honesty, work ethic, and ability to handle sometimes stressful interpersonal relationships helped to land her five college acceptances.

There is also the advantage of doing any kind of charity work. Soup kitchens, church charity work, Habitat for Humanity, and Amnesty International are all worthwhile causes that should not only be looked at as "padding the application." They help give the student a different perspective of life, both theirs and the lives of others. My children both did work for Habitat for Humanity and my daughter took it a step further and became President for her high school's chapter of Amnesty International.  They are the better for it.

The SAT scores are part of the picture that is your child. I wish to tell you this. Take the SAT test. Take it often. Sit with your child and sign up to take the test. Your child can start taking the test in 7th and 8th grade. My advice is to wait until the 8th grade, but I wouldn't wait until senior year in high school and take it only once. Signing up for the SAT test is simple on the college board website. Currently the test costs $45. It will be the best $45 dollars you ever spent. Save up for it. If your child takes the test in 8th grade, then again in 9th, 10th, and 11th, there will be a foundation of confidence built that will enable them to feel like the SAT is not so frightening. They've been there. They've done that. The score you send to the colleges is the one you want sent plus the accumulation of scores, and their improvement as your child goes through their school years, will only prove what a dedicated student they are. It will prove it to the schools but mostly to themselves. I saw so many children defeat themselves before they ever took the test.  Senior year is not the best time to take the SATs for the first time.  There is so much going on.

Take the test at any time during the school year that you and your child feel comfortable. It's offered mulitple times during the year. You are given a time to view your test scores online as well. "Practice makes perfect." Sports teams practice all the time. Why not the SATs? Take away some of the fear and mystery of taking the test. Use or purchase the practice materials offered online through the college board website, a link I've provided with the article.

One last thing I'd like to share with you. When you and your child are considering colleges, consider this, take a trip there if you can. Don't make an official and individual appointment. If it's reasonably close and you can take the time and travel expense to go there, go there. Walk around campus. Look at the students who go there. Go to the campus bookstore and check out the textbooks. Buy a t-shirt. Walk by the dorms and Greek houses. See what the place feels like. Drive around the neighborhoods close to and around the campus. Investigate through campus security. You and your child have the right to ask those kinds of questions. As much as people feel subservient while being interviewed for college, you are interviewing the college as well. Do they meet YOUR standards? Are they DOING their job correctly? Will your child feel at HOME there and you not panic if they don't pick up the phone on the first ring?  Also, if the college they are really interested in offers overnight visits, do it.  The late night talk will give your child great insight into what really goes on and how the students attending the school really feel.  College is not something to endure. It is an experience that will be the fodder for stories both amusing and memorable.

Don't let the college dictate to you your life. It is your life. Plan on investigating several colleges. Apply to several colleges. Big ones and small ones. Rural and big city. They are all out there. This is your experience. The better you're prepared for it, the better it will be. Taking the SAT's is only part of this journey. Take it. Take it often. Plan. Research. Go to the guided tours but in no way believe every word. It's marketing. Ask direct questions and if you don't get a direct answer, ask it directly again. Yes, this is an incredibly important decision. It is big money.  You get an inspection done when you purchase a house.  Inspect the college.  It is as much yours and your child's decision to make as it is the college that chooses them.  You do have control over this. Be confident in yourself. And enjoy the closeness that this exploration can give to you and your child.