What's Sex Got To Do With It?
57Milestones when the "weaker sex" had some powerful moments
This column originally written June 2008, after a specific political situation. It was inspired by a 'sex' (gender) political situation, but the hub below is not about that situation. It is about how the people in our lives, regardless of their sex, influence our futures. I hope you enjoy.
(update 9/6/08) Well, I guess 'sex' has some credible elements for the political game after all. Although this isn't actually a political hub per se, it was inspired by a political moment. And, 90 days after that political moment in June '08, 'the unnamed person' here, who didn't crack through the glass ceiling (as she put it) perhaps has a bit of oddly poignant satisfaction that another of her sex has been selected to represent another side to women's roles in our society. Sixty more days and the USA will decide, one vote at a time, how 'sex' will play a part in government.
Women, making USA the great country it is today
Sex and life milestones
All of us in the USA realize that 18 million voters just created a hugely powerful moment for a member of the "weaker sex." I don't want to go too heavily into politics, but those 18 million know who they are...and we all know the issue involved here.
That "weaker sex" person's life, no matter what happens for the rest of her days, will live on in American history as the living icon for a moment when the USA's history shifted.
That is, if we weren't all, regardless of our sex, too busy on our cellphones or our ipods or our Xbox360's or those new Wii's to really let it soak into our collective craniums!
Ah...but I'm getting off point...
How lucky we are
The point is To Remember....Remember events in your own lives...when was the first time you cast a vote for president? When did you first feel truly "like a grown up," a moment when you realized you'd ventured beyond the cares and freedoms of childhood and were standing up as a responsible member of society? When did you first have that special heart-filling moment of patriotism? When did you last have it? Can you remember moments in your life when you realized how lucky you were to be a citizen of the USA?
Remember...
The point is To Remember...to remember, and treasure, and pass along to your descendants...the lives of your parents, the lives of your grandparents. Even now, you could do a little math, a little internet research, and discover...who were the presidential candidates when your grandfather was your age? We all had to learn "the winners" in American History classes...but who were the candidates? Then think back, to when your grandmother was your age right now, what year was it, ... could she even vote? (Women were allowed to vote as of August, 1920 - our constitution's 19th Amendment)
'Weaker Sex' person who may now get the glory, with only 60 days on the campaign trail.
'Weaker Sex' person who's hard work, intelligence, commitment, steadfastness, will have paved the way.
More memories...
The point is also To Remember the lives of others...those who made a difference in your life...a scout leader, 10th grade English teacher, soccer coach, first boss. Don't let your brain lose those memories...the people and events that shaped you, that made you the spouse you are, the parent you are, the neighbor you are, the citizen you are.
Remember your personal civic history...the moments that occurred during your unique lifetime that shaped the USA and formed it into this monumental year, 2008. Polio vaccines and space travel and personal computers and the internet. How did the "weaker sex" make their mark in our society? The first female Secretary State -- Madeline Albright appointed 1996. Who was the first woman to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company (there are currently 13)? I still remember the stunning emotional feelings I experienced when the first woman was appointed to the Supreme Court. What "weaker sex" moment made an impression across the bumps and valleys and high spots of your life?
Women in our lives
Remember the first time a woman became a mayor of your town (has it happened yet)? Or a governor of your state? (There are, I think, 12 states with women as governors.) Do you remember how "sensational" it was when a woman became an anchor on your local TV news programs? Remember when a woman became your school's principal? A woman became your mailman? Your dentist, your doctor, your accountant? Chances are these events either still have not happened OR they've happened in just the last two decades.
Truly, not a very long span of time in the USA's history for the "weaker sex" to reveal its power. I hope there will continue to be more and more over the years of my daughter's adulthoods, my yet-to-be grandchildren's lives. It seems that being a member of the "weaker sex" still perhaps carries a burden...unequal paychecks still dominate, and incidence of spousal violence still brutal in our ‘civilized' country, ...
But, take a moment, or two, or a hundred....and think back, write down, remember.
Remembering our recent past
A stirring collection of patriotic moments to remember, highly recommend Caroline Kennedy's Compilation: An American treasure historically collected in this one
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The American Patriot's Handbook: The Writings, History, and Spirit of a Free Nation
Price: $12.55
List Price: $19.99 |
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The Patriot's Handbook: A Citizenship Primer for a New Generation of Americans
Price: $5.00
List Price: $15.95 |
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A Patriot's Handbook : Songs, Poems, Stories, and Speeches Celebrating the Land We Love
Price: $6.78
List Price: $16.95 |
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Comments
Thanks for your comments...it is amazing that women have made such progress in the USA in the last decades, and also amazing that it's still even a topic that needs discussing for this reveals how far the "weaker sex" has to go!
How very well written, desert blondie! You have craftily articulated the progress of women in our society. And you did it without making me think that your column is "no men allowed". Nicely done! Keep it up.
Well done!
Thanks for the Hub. I find myself conflicted over this race. On the one hand, I am thrilled that younger women do not necessarily see the history Hillary made because they don't consider sex to be an issue. On the other, I continue to be frustrated by the way both media and men portray a strong woman running for President.
I have never really put too much in this "weaker sex" bit. I have always known that women played a vital role in all phases of our society. I think in many ways that women were smarter than men, focusing on the outcome rather than who gets the credit. They have been the builders and the cement that held our society together.
I am concerned that younger women are starting to act more like men. To me that is not good. Women have as a general rule, focused on the long term - men on the short term. Women have been more concerned with lasting value, men with short term pleasure.
I am all for equal pay. I think men have taken advantage of women far too long. But I am not sure that I believe women or society will be well served by women behaving more like men.
Thanks for all your comments and opinions...To John, it's just my thinking, but maybe some women feel that IF they didn't behave like men, they would be sublimated...if we'd all been treating equally....which hasn't happened in any country, among any population, for thousands and thousands of years, the issue wouldn't exist. It's a legacy that races and genders have faced since ancient times.
Henry A. Myers, one of my all time favorite teachers (American Lit) put it this way: women and men and all people are not identical, but they are equal in ultimate value. Myers reasoned that agreement on what is "more equal" is impossible to achieve. That is who is better--the kindest person, the most artistic, the best mathematician, the most humble, the strongest, the greatest quarterback, etc.? Nobody can say. Therefore, we all are equal in ultimate value. (Except for the Dem Super Delegates!)
John, I agree, fair pay has nothing to do with ignoring our "genes." (jeans?)
As women, i believe we're entitled to equal pay for equal work. Still, the world needs us to maintain our feminine side...we keep the population going and "sane." if I don't claim too much credit for us females. We push society to be all it can be....we bring our men home from war...we perform next to them in war...but we are a vital heartbeat to humanity AS WOMEN.
Great hub and subject.
As a middle aged woman, I have achieved a certain amount of success in a traditionally male-dominated profession. I have frequently been in awe of the women who went before me to make my own successes possible. I have also frequently been grateful to the many men (and women) who have helped make the teams I have supported better. I have observed that young women today don't appreciate the sacrifices of those who blazed the trail. But that proves the progress women, and more importantly our entire society, have made throughout the years.
I thank all of your for enriching this hub with your own perspectives. Regards!
Very good hub desert blondie--
I have to give my father a lot of credit for how strong I am. He told me I could be anything I wanted to be in my life and he taught me from young not to let anyone take anything from me. So I never saw women as weak. I wanted to be like my father and be strong ...never let anyone take advantage of me.
With his teachings, I passed it on to my children. I hope to pass it to my grandchildren too.
Yes, it is amazing how much one persons words will ring in your ears all of your life. "Go get the bike ...it is your ...don't let anyone take it from you" ...I was 3 and I had to do it ...a boy took it ...I was told if he hit me ...hit him back. The answer is ...I got the bike and I am much stronger for it ...with values ...and kindness.
I loved your hub ...it does make one think ...we need to do that more often. Thank you for taking me back!! I will never forget my father .."I am my father's child."
Have the belief that the fair sex impose their own limitations on them selves on 2008.
They created those words of the glass ceiling.
We have a lady who took over a bank made it the 5th biggest and now has been poached by the 3rd largest bank. Guess what that bank has now bought her old bank and become the largest bank in Australia.
Stop putting your self down and become an Olympian. Stop excusing yourself with this glass ceiling.
Your hub was good but it will be getting better. Has you have broken through that ceiling. Forget Hilary. or Bilary for that matter. They are spent forces.
Desert Blondie, thank you for writing this empowering Hub! Women of today have so many more opportunities than our mothers or grandmothers. Just think what our daughters have ahead in their lives? Glass ceiling will one day be a term over which people will scratch their heads and wonder - "what the heck does that mean?" I give this one a thumbs up!
to New Day, I too will be glad when the term "glass ceiling" has no relevance to anyone. Thanks for your comment.
To Mr. Marmalade, Yes, we should all strive to by Olympians! Thans for stopping by!
To GJCoday, how wonderful that you have such great memories! Treasure them!
Thought-provoking, awesome hub! As a mom of girls, this indeed hits home. My hope is that equal pay will be a non-issue when they reach adult-hood, but the reality has it that it may, unfortunately, take longer in some industries for this to actually happen. Looking at the lives of women in other countries, I definitely feel blessed to be a woman in the good ole USA. And I do believe that someday we will have a woman president!
I finally got you your email.
Have previously seen your hub and commented.
I believe you will be reaching the top. We all go as far as we want, and not a step further. We can be anything we want.
I was a good salesman, as long as I only talked to one person. Place me in front of three people (A group) Could not talk.
I made my self talk and achieved wonders. You also can do that.
Good luck and keep on achieving
Really enojyed this hub--I keep finding things at hubpages to share with my daughter! Thank you!
Interesting Hub but as a woman I wouldn't want the first woman President to be Hillary Clinton. I don't think she is a good, strong role model for young women and I don't believe she's the best 'person' for the job.
It would be great if a woman got a chance to run the US for a change but it should be the right woman, the right 'person' for the job.
Holding a candidate aloft as a beacon of hope simply because she is a woman is just as bad as not voting for her because she is a woman.
What I would like to see is a better choice and more women candidates! :D
Also don't forget that more than just feminist history was written either. All past Presidents have been older, white, men. A lot of 'shift' has occured with this election and it's about time!
Your government should reflect your diversity. IMHO
Great, thought provoking hub!
I appreciate the difference between men and women. I agree with John that women should not try to be men. I still hold the door for women, or give up my seat on the bus. But I worked for my wife in a family business for 25 years because she was the better business person. And I believe when a woman runs for president that is worthy of the job, the country will rise to the occasion.
Wow! Thanks for all your comments. To Ron, we all appreciate your courtesies...this whole opening the door thing somehow got a bad rap, that I think was started by just a few harsher members of the "weaker sex." Personally, I've never felt belittled by courtesy, nor have I ever felt entitled to one either.
To RFox, This hub wasn't supposed to get political, as I mentioned in my second sentence...although you make some good points in your comment. This column was meant to remind us to take a moment to reflect, perhaps reflection can bring about the best in each of us, which in turn rubs off on society as a whole.
To Dineane and HubSub, glad both of you, as mothers of daughters, found some worthwhile nuggets here. I hope mothers of sons, and sons themselves, see soemthing here for them as well. Best, and thanks for your comments!
Here's an update everyone! Orange County, CA, one of the most populated counties in the state just got a female sheriff!
Great Hub .
This is an excellent thought provoking Hub. In South Africa the challenges are the same although we do have female vice president at the moment. Interestingly enough, I attended a talk by a CEO of a software company that specialises in Payroll and HR systems. She was telling us how difficult we men make it for the Ladies. She has maintained her feminism. Her husband of 26 years and her grown up children are key to her lifestyle. Inapropriate jokes, or sexist remarks at board meetings or business forums are simply not tolerated by her. She has made to the top without behaving like a man or compromising her values.
Go gettem Ladies and remain ladies!
The best compliment I can pay you is by becoming a fan.
Hi Desert Blondie! I read this one yesterday and am just getting back to leave an enthusiastic comment!! Love it, love it, love it! When I was a little girl I always said that I would be the president of the United States when I grew up. I wonder what people thought of that back in the late 1960s, early 1970s. No longer will people chuckle and pat girls' heads at such a proclamation. Girl Power!
just great hub
Hi Desert Blondie,
I think you and I are thinking on the same wave length these days... I simply have termed these courageous women, "Pioneers"... Thank you for the admonition to remember... For in remembering our past we can move forward into the future with more strength. Women are incredible creations... aren't we?
In the Doghouse, We are all, regardless of our sex, incredible creations...and some of us--once in awhile, or over an entire life-- exhibit such amazing powers of tenacity, grace, brainpower, and desire...that I'm surprised to be part of the same species! I for one love the line (I've forgotten which comedian) "I don't want a president of the people...I want a president who's BETTER than most people I see" I agree.
to Steph...Yep, what changes in our country since early 1970 for women! It only took about 200 years since USA formed for these freedoms, powers, equalities to start taking shape!
to Sixtyorso...thank you for the huge compliment, thank you for great anecdote of a graceful, powerful woman...thank you for stopping by to leave a comment...and thank your for becoming a fan! Warmest Regards.
Very Deep and very interesting!
Maggie thather (ex UK prime minister) was a great leader, but they all said she had balls!!
;)
Desert blondie a very well detailed expalanation... You have expressed equality, in the negative issue that lowers women to men in the ancient times. And with your hub, you have expanded men to be open. Its changing the meaning of "weaker sex" before and what it is now, women have gone ahead and is still going too.
I agree.
I thank you all for your comments...and am humbled that I have written a hub that has generated so much commentary...I'm looking forward to seeing how the comments continue,... I just am wanting all of us to take a few moment to fully remember our individual 'mentors', regardless of their gender, and appreciate those individuals who brought each of us to our own moments of 'awareness' as we became adults, guiding others in this society. Here's to good citizenship!
A nice celebration of women.
Very nicely done, and I would hope that no matter how hard women have to push to be seen as equals in a male dominated world, that they will foremost remain ladies.
I, and my two siblings, were raised by a single mother and had no concept of the "weaker sex" mentality until I was at least in my teens. I remember being very confused the first time I heard this kind of talk.
There is nothing weak about Woman.
To Constant, Nope...nothing weak about Woman...it would be fascinating to somehow track down the very first time that term was used!
To Donna, I hope we remain 'ladies' as well, as I wish all men to be 'gentlemen.' The labels meaning, for either sex, those who behave courteously to others in thought, word and deed.
To Karen, thanks for the compliment!
Very thoughtful hub! I too would like to know the origin of the phrase "weaker sex" because I can't think of a single female I know who fits that description!
Also found it interesting to see Kathleen Sebelius's photo here. She's the current governor of Kansas, but not its first. That distinction went to Joan Finney, who had some silly notion that being guv was nothing more than showing up for ribbon-cuttings and photo ops with school children. Needless to say, she was not re-elected, and Kansas women were sure she'd jinxed the office for them forever. Then along came former state legislator and insurance commisioner Kathleen (who prefers to be addressed as such, not "Governor Sebelius"), who won re-election to a second term by a landslide. But Kathleen is a "First" in another catergory...first daughter of a former governor (of Ohio) to become a governor herself.
Cool trivia about Kansas!
I don't know when the term "weaker sex" originated desert blondie and GamaGenee, but when I was a boy girls and women all wore dresses, and sometimes skirts, and were univerally considered the "weaker sex." Girls did not play sports as they do today. When walking together on a sidewalk, males always stayed on the outside to protect females. Girls were expected to get married, be supported by their husbands and raise a family at home. World War II had a lot to do with transitioning women to the work force -- although many left the work force when the war ended. I think the term "weaker sex" originally referred to both the physical and mental attributes of females. Women today have all but reversed that condition. If we took a vote, I think the majority of men might still say that men are physically stronger than women, but they may very well acknowledge that women are at least as smart as men.
William, my hubby still walks on the outside at the curb, he still opens my doors, and so on and so on....he behaves this way out of respect and love. Many, of both genders, seem to believe that these behaviors came out of demeaning women, lowering them somehow by opening a door. Now, I don't expect a stranger to hold open a door for me "just because" I'm a woman...but my man knows that I've enriched his life in ways he couldn't imagine...and I have "acts" that I have to show my love and respect for him as well.
Plus, having been raised "southern"...I learned from both grandmothers something that I guess many "yankees" didn't hear. I learned, rather along the line of 'Steel Magnolias' that all gentlemen know that all ladies deserve courtesies and respects (door opening was a sign of respect, not belittling, as the 1970s 'women's libbers' made it to be)....anyway...I learned that these behaviors to women were because a woman, any woman, all women....could give birth...that we, as women, were the source of all life...and as such...we deserved a "tip of the hat" as it were just for being born female. We deserve every other equality offered to USA citizens as well. But, the respect that's offered by gentlemen just because...in some way...each woman is "entitled" to the respect a that a true gentleman would show his own mother. Now, does that show how southern I am or what?
I don't check my e-mail very often, but it was worth it to read this latest article by desert blondie. I don't want to sound rude, but having lived 64 years and "known" a few men, I am postive that having estrogen rather than testostorone is a safer way to rule the planet!
Thanks Kristen....i think a lot of us agree!
Kuddo's Blondie!
Great introspective hub. I think us "women" can tend to forget that it hasn't been that long since we were given voting rights, and that women started to hold positions of influence.
We've come along way baby - as the Virginia Slims Cigarette Ads used to say!
Great hub!
I'll be glad when we're finally past the point where we have to point out the gender or race of someone who does something well and just have a society where excellence is expected and given its proper due.
Isn't this a great hub ...I agree! I like to return just to read the comments. "We've come a long way baby" ...is truly fact. I am a hairdresser for many years and at one time that ...itself was not considered a business ....women had to go to the barber shop to get their hair cut ...if they could even get it cut. Yes ..great hub!
Dorsi, yes, I think it's to the detriment of women that, somehow, we don't seem to honor the equalities we have so recently gained. We've always deserved them, as do all citizens of USA...but to fail to celebrate them...that's when they get lost again ... rather like forgetting the Fourth of July somehow.
Shadesbreath, I think we all agree with your comment!
GJCody, I'm flattered you've come by again...just to check out the comments. Aren't they good? So reflective of the great hub community we have here!
All I can say is Yeahhhhhh! Good Hub!
Desert Blondie-- how did I miss this one??--and the wonderful comment thread-- just have to add that I do remember and we have come a long way baby:-) When my grandmother graduated from college(a rarity in her day) she could not vote because she was a woman. When I graduated from college and was looking for a job in New York, the NYT want ads were divided into " help wanted male" and "help wanted female" and the female ones were all clerical. Boys got chemistry sets for christmas and girls got suzy homemaker toy carpet sweepers LOL-- it was a different time indeed. Thanks for the reminder of how lucky each succeeding generation of American women has been.
To Lilymag...thanks for stopping by and for the compliment.
To Robie2...That's right! I remember when want ads were that way as well! Also, when I was in college, we were encouraged to take career assessment tests to see what kinds of jobs might be a "good fit." The results came back..."If respondent male" with cool jobs--architect, engineer, lawyer, journalism, etc. .... "If respondent female" it listed secretarial/assistant positions to those same cool jobs! Fortunately for me, my testor showed me ALL the results regardless of MY gender.
That's a great hub. It's really nice that the perceptions about the 'fairer sex' are changing, and I believe they had to change as inequality can do no good in the longer run, even for the ones committing it. It's really unbelievable to know that women weren't allowed to vote before 1920. What i am seeing in the not-so-far future is that there is no pay inequality in the World.
I hope your view of the future is correct, there are so many developing nations whose situations of inequality are so severe, that whatever inequalities linger here in USA seem minor by comparison.
Good article! Thanks for the perspective you put on so many broad topics. I always like reading your columns!
William F. Torpey says:
18 months ago
You've put the advances of the "weaker sex" in perspective here, desert blondie. When I was a boy, girls could look forward to being school teachers or nurses. I remember when a woman on the police force or in the fire department was startling news. I'm also old enough to remember when women were not allowed in bars, but later won the right to stand (but not sit) and eventually won the right to sit at the bar. When my first child was born, my boss called me into his office to tell me that I would be getting a raise in pay because my family was larger now. Women always have been paid less than men, and they've had to push against the glass ceiling, but equal rights are getting a little closer these days. Thanks for bringing up this interesting topic.