Fenway for Beginners

Maybe you're just visiting Boston, maybe you just moved here, maybe your new boyfriend is really into baseball and you're lying that you are, too. Any way you cut it, a Sox game is one of the best ways to get to know Boston--and, of course, Bostonians and New Englanders in general.

It's really tough, when traveling any where, to travel like a local. In other words, do what the locals would actually do, not engage in activities that cater to tourists. The Red Sox is the perfect place to start. Around here, being a Sox fan is something you're born into--winning, losing, or anything in between.

So here is my guide for those who want to step up to home plate and gaze at the green monster.

How to Get Tickets

If you don't have the foresight to buy the tickets in the dead of winter when they go on sale from the MLB, you're striking out at that venue. But Sox tickets are the hottest commodity to buy and trade in Boston, so chances are, if you really want to, you can get your hands on some.

Little known secret: Fenway does release additional tickets the day of, so you can line up early in the morning at the ticket counter or you can buy them online the night before (this I have only heard tell of, here for example, but I have never tried it myself. Lining up outside however is a definite yes.)

You can also bid on Green Monster tickets. Obviously this will end up one of the most expensive ways to go, but if you're unfamiliar with Fenway, the Green Monster is what big hitters fear and also aim for, so you're right in the middle of the action with home runs. This section was only opened a few years ago. Check out Fenway's interactive map for the view.

Depending on availability (obviously this is the real problem with Sox tickets), Mastercard also runs a pretty good deal where you get four tickets, four hot dogs and four large cokes for almost 20% off ($152 value for $124) which, if you can get it, sounds good to me.

The lowdown on scalping: Yes, it is against the law, but it's not an enforced crime. (Read what boston.com has to say on the matter). So basically, if you're heading to the game right before, you can always find a guy who will shout at you that he needs a ticket. Just be smart about it--always try to talk them down for the price (especially if you have multiple people) and watch out for obvious creeps--last game I went to one guy was specifically targeting women to give a ticket to. (I think not). You will pay a lot for these tickets, but the closer it gets to game time (and especially during the first or second inning) the prices come down drastically--the ticket isn't worth anything to them if it goes unsold.

Other than that, there is also acetickets.com and stubhub.com. I would be shocked and impressed if you ever found a deal on tickets here, but if you're willing to put up the money, the tickets are there.

Now say you get on the ball early and you're looking at the map: if you have your pick of everywhere, where do you want to sit?

For first timers, unless you have tons of money to throw around and can buy really sweet baseline tickets or tickets close to the field, I would really recommend the grandstands. While they're the worst view because they're farthest away, it's also the rowdiest section--here you'll participate in the wave, get some beach balls going, and do clap, clap, clapclapclap "Let's go RED SOX!" until your hands hurt. They're also some of the cheapest tickets, so why not?

Of course, if you can afford it, go for the Green Monster. The seats are better, it's much less crowded, and yet it's still a big hard-core fan section. Plus, you might catch a baseball! Or at least get beaned by one. (This is Beantown, after all...)

How To Get There

Parking is tough, expensive, and disingenuous--it's not the way real fans go. Real fans take the T. It's really easy and inexpensive. All you need to do is get to the green line. Here's a map. Once you get to the green line, take any train except E (So take A, B, C, or D) and get off at Kenmore. From there? Follow the crowds.

What to Wear, What to Bring, What to Eat!

So you managed to get tickets, and you're all set to go. Now, assuming you really want to get into the atmosphere, these are the essential points you need to know.

Wear a Cap. If you support another team than the Sox, you're not going to get cussed out for it unless its the Yankees (Fenway faux-pas!--check out the video to see what happens), so where your colors with pride. Now mostly, I really recommend a cap because a lot of sections get a lot of sun and you'll end up with your scalp burned, which is uncomfortable for you and everyone who has to look at your head peeling. So if you want to get a Red Sox cap, here are a few guidelines:

Shop official merchandise. Otherwise it's crappy quality and you just look cheap. You can purchase from the MLB store, or you can go where real fans go--the Souvenir Store on Yawkey Way. There are a lot of other venues for real MLB merchandise, too--just make sure it has a sticker on it that says official merchandise.

The one exception to the official merchandise rule? The cheap t-shirts they sell on the street after games. Here we find such gems as "Cap'n Tek", "VTek is My Drinking Buddy" "Derek Jeter Drinks Wine Coolers" and "What Would Papi Do?". These are amazing and revered by all. Wear as often as humanly possible.

Now, if you're a woman you're probably eyeing all those cute pink, lime green, violet, and baby blue hats. These are so saucy! Very very cute--but they aren't for game time. As far as I'm concerned, wearing one of those hats labels you arm-candy and absolutely nothing more. Wearing the team colors--navy and red--is a sign of respect. There's nothing like being at Fenway and seeing a sea of red and navy stretched out before you. So keep the cute for at home, and when it comes time to watch a game, rock it old school for the home team.

Player T Shirts are a necessity for any Sox fan, so if you get hooked, be sure to pick a couple up at the Yawkey Way store before you leave.

What to bring is a great question. According to the MLB website, "the following items are prohibited: Umbrellas, hard-sided coolers, cans, bottles, glass containers of any kind, alcoholic beverages, illegal substances, firearms, noise-making devices, and commercial audio/visual equipment. Fans will NOT be able to store any prohibited items at Fenway Park. "

Don't mess with those guidelines, because no one but you cares if you don't get to see the game. Food is ok to tuck in your bag, and I recommend this because it gets expensive, but often they'll take water bottles just in case they're alcohol containing. That's hit or miss though, so take your chances.

Bring a sweatshirt for any game before July 1st. It can get really cold in the park at night!

Bring enough cash--the stuff you really don't want to miss (cheap Tshirts on the street, programs, vendors) is all cash, and there are ATMs in the park, but they have expensive fees associated with them, and there are always long lines. Also try and bring some small bills--food vendors troll the aisleways, and if you don't have exact change to pass down to them, it can be a real hassle for all the people sitting between you and the aisle.

What to eat is everyone's favorite question to answer. There's the contingent that gripes about prices inside the park (which are astronomical compared to the outside world, especially for beer) and there is the contingent that will lecture at length on the merits of sausages v Fenway Franks.

So here's the lowdown: Buy at least one Fenway Frank while you're inside. Yes, it's 4.50$ for a hot dog, but it's all beef, and it's a total classic. Vendors come up and down the aisles hawking them and you can buy them everywhere inside the park. So just do it--just one, just for the experience. Besides, they come on really fluffy buns.

Personally, I wouldn't buy a sausage inside the park. Instead, buy them on your way in or out at The Sausage King, a Yawkey Way classic with huge, delicious sausages for your gastronomical displeasure.

Also, no baseball game is complete without a big bag of salty peanuts that you shell between your legs, leaving a large pile of nut shells at your feet that anyone passing you to their seats has to teeter over. It's really and disproportionately expensive to buy these in the park, so I recommend BYON (bring your own nuts).

What to DO at Fenway Park

So you're all set, you're totally prepared, except, what do you do once you're there?

First--Observe the Code of Conduct which includes drinking responsibly, not smoking, cleaning up after yourself and keeping the language and aggressive behavior to a minimum. This last one is essential, because fans have been known to do such crazy things as flipping a car (see video inset) and ripping out elevator gears (this wasn't even in Boston, but still, you get the picture). The security staff also takes this pretty seriously now, so keep it chilled.

Second-- PARTICIPATE! Boston fans are rowdy in absolutely the best way. The crowds chant almost constantly and the atmosphere is off the charts at tense moments--but here are some of the best crowd pleasers: the Sing A Longs! First, during the Seventh Inning Stretch, is Take Me Out to the Ball Game, which everyone belts out while literally stretching. The words play on the jumbotron, so there's no excuse!

Next is the Boston tradition Sweet Caroline. The Neil Diamond classic has become even more so at Fenway. Played during the eighth inning, every Sox fan knows this song by heart. For those that don't, the words play on the screen, but there is no better way to get wrapped in the spirit of Boston than shaking your thang while shouting out, "Touching meee....TOUCH-ING YOUUU!!! SWEEEEEET CAROLINE (OH OH OH!) GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEMED SO GOOD (SO GOOD SO GOOD SO GOOD!)" It's an absolute must. Check out the video for one of my favorite renditions.