Field Marshal or Field Mouse?
69It’s interesting the way people see us. Often it has nothing
to do with the way we see ourselves. In recent months a friend has been trying
to convince me I have fine leadership qualities, and I’ve been scoffing at him
rather rudely. He came to this strange conclusion after observing my
interaction on an online community that I moderated, where I often had to
balance fragile egos and intervene diplomatically when debates got too inimical
or out of hand. According to him I was
doing something right, even if I didn’t realise it.
Yesterday I said something that had him reiterating his
claim that I would make a great military leader. What that brought to mind was
a stodgy old general barking out commands to hapless minions, and so I
protested, quite naturally. He quickly softened the blow by adding that he was
referring to a charismatic leader, someone like Field Marshal Sam Maneckshaw!
A Field Marshal is the highest rank in the Indian Army, and
the gentleman he referred to was one of only two Indians to ever achieve that
exalted status. A towering personality, he had a magnificent moustache, an
endearing irreverence, and of course, oodles of charisma. I have none of those
enviable attributes, and I’m not sure I will make it to the grand old age of 94
either. But of course I should be honoured to be spoken of in the same breath
as the great man, and I am.
However, what my friend has conveniently forgotten is that
when the going got too tough I conveniently handed over my duties as moderator of
the community to someone else and fled! That doesn’t seem to me like the
behaviour of a Field Marshal. More like a cowardly Field Mouse. Or rat. Confrontation
is not something I enjoy and if things can’t be settled amicably, I would
rather retreat. Not the sort of thing any self respecting military man would
approve of, I imagine.
We show different facets of ourselves to different people.
And depending on our interaction with them, they come to their own conclusions
about the kind of person we are. Interestingly, rarely will two individuals
share the same opinion about a third. For every person who thinks I’m a good
leader is one who thinks I’m a spineless creature who doesn’t have the gumption
to take a stand. Some may see me as rational, others as an impulsive idiot who
rarely stops to think. Does anyone really ever see another as a whole?
As we go through the various stages of life, our self image
changes, depending on the experiences we’ve been through, the people we’ve met,
and the amount of growing up we’ve done. It follows that people who have known
us at different stages of life will probably have completely conflicting views
of our personality. Try telling someone who knew me in school (and I was very
definitely a quiet mouse then) that I have leadership qualities and their jaws
will drop open in shock. “Not her! Why, she could never open her mouth wide
enough to be heard, leave alone get anyone to do anything!”
Perhaps in the years since school I have unconsciously learned a trick or two about handling people, but if you asked me to enumerate them I would be at a complete loss. I prefer to blunder along, playing life by ear, without following a defined script. Which is why others get compliments on their beauty and grace and intellect, and I get called a Field Marshal!
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Comments
Shhh...it's cat...not rat! :P
Thanks for reading CC!
LOL as a member of that community, I do think that you would be better as a liasion person that a General. A mediator I guess the term is ...........
haha, sorry. LOL Being a leader is not all it's supposed to be. too much stress. Of course, being a follower isn't so great either when you have a rotten leader.
Ritu, I took the easy way out...let braver people mediate! :P
CC, I agree - sounds like way too much work to be a leader - it's not for us lotus eaters of the world! :D
Hmmm, never ate lotus. Had plenty of Paw Paws tho'.
Nice one again FP (maybe you should change your pseudonym to FM). How do you manage to write so much? And so well? Its taken me 20 years to write four hubs.
What you say is also explained (though your hub is far better) by the Johari Window which states that there are four areas of self-awareness - one that we know and everyone else knows, the second that we know and noone else does, a third that others know and we don't and the fourth that neither we nor anyone else knows. I hope this is some value addition to your hub though I am sure you did not mean this to be a classroom lecture on soft skills.
Two important points you make - one that people change with time the other that seldom do two persons see another through the same lenses. So very true
Try it sometime, CC...most satisfying! :)
Thank you Sabu. And if you think I'm prolific you haven't been here long enough! There are hubbers who write multiple hubs on a daily basis!
I hadn't heard about the Johari Window - sounds very interesting. I should look it up. It's true that no one really knows oneself completely - leave alone someone else.
Since I too was a member of that community...I understand why you ran away. I do not know about Field Marshal Sam, he led from the front and was an amazing man, but there are all kinds of leaders and while you were at the helm, I know we thoroughly enjoyed being part of the community.
As always, well written FP .... umm Field Marshal FP :P
Hahaha ... Trust the master strategist to use the element of surprise so well! FP has caught me unawares and drawn me out here, the battle ground of her chosing!
But, seriously, I maintain that she is ideal Field Marshal material. She is gifted with leadership qualities par excellence. I'd march any and every day to her orders and her tune.
A true leader never fights every battle. He chooses the ones to be fought with sagacity, and fights them only after first creating an advantageous opportunity. If a battle must be fought to achieve the overall aim, he will fight it, but at a time, place and in a manner of his chosing.
Withdrawal is not defeat. It is an operation of war, to extricate oneself from a battle that is not worth fighting at that time, when the odds are against you, when aspects like concentration of force, or surprise, or any others are not quite right.
German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel, the Desert Fox, earned high respect for his brilliant strategy, his ability to anticipate his opponents and his endearing charm and his leadership qualities. In a Reich famous for brutalities and inhumanities, he was a professional. Even Winston Churchill called him a "skillful oponent' and 'a great general.'
FP has all that is needed - wisdom, level headedness and oodles of charisma; she sees only the larger picture; never loses sight of the forest for the trees; can walk away unpeturbed from issues that do not matter too much. Her Brigadiers, Colonels, Majors and Corporals can take care of such detail..
As regards the moustache, I am sure the Army will be happy she doesn't have one!
Amazingly, and this too is the truth: Just by chance, I happened to mention FP's name to a comparatively new friend, but now a rather good one who is also on HubPages. To the best of my knowledge they did not know each other. And her first comment was, "She's a born leader!" I haven't asked her how or why she had reached that conclusion. Maybe she might happen around here and leave her own comments...
Your strongest point on the community was that of being in constant touch with everyone, that little sentence of appreciation, a hi and a hello! That made everyone feel associated with you!
Of course I would definitely not consider you FM material, though you did manage the community well and uniquely in your own way :-)
Thank you Diana, Uma and Ravin for your kind words...especially for clarifying that you never imagined me in the role of a military leader! :P
Jaspal, you overwhelm me! And since you've let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, let me thank you for your faith in my abilities to lead...but if you ever had to actually click your heels and salute me, you'd realise I was a terror...lack of moustache notwithstanding! :P
Someone once told me, an employee of mine, who actually liked me, "that there was a fine line between fear and respect" and any of my employees would always work as hard as I did, because they saw how hard I worked, but i never did find out if they feared or respected me, perhaps a little of both. I'm not sure any of this has made me a good or bad leader or just chief lemming. :-) but I really loved your hub. I would never want to be field Marshall in an army I would want everyone to make love not war. :-))
I'm sure it was respect more than fear Sandman! :) As for Field Marshal on or off the battlefield - I would never want to be in such a responsible position! Some of us are happy letting others lead. Thanks for stopping by.
Yes, FP, I know you are happy not being in the military and knowing that you never will be. One just senses the qualities, and I know they will stand you in good stead anywhere you chose to be.
Never mind the terror, as long as the moustache is not there, one could handle it! :p
Sometimes leadership involves clever delegating.. you rock on both items.. *hand to forhead salute* Hone those skills..
A number of things come to mind here: leadership and selv-evaluation.
Leadership is something that comes from within. It can never come from without. It is not something most leaders will set as a goal, but will come naturally from actions. One of the greatest examples of this is Mahatma Gandhi (reading his biography at the moment).
Self-evaluation is needed at all times, no matter if you are a field marshall or a a field mouse.
And who should decide if you are a field marshall or a field mouse?
Candie, delegation is a good term for turning tail and fleeing! Thanks for reading! :)
Birte, Mahatma Gandhi was a leader, whether he wanted to be or not...I guess that is true of many great leaders. Like you said, it's instinctive in some. The rest of us have to figure out whether we are field marshals or field mice! Thanks for dropping by. :)
The many facets of FP - you conveniently forgot the 'famous editor' phase :)
I guess everyone has a bit of both - it's the circumstances we find ourselves in that brings out the necessary traits. As for you, you are lucky that you can be whatever you want - depending on your whims. Both Field Marshals and field mice can have their day!
Are you calling me whimsical now? :P
You're right Shal, how we behave depends on what we are up against, and we all show contradictory aspects of our personality from time to time.
Prophet - Oh, how wonderful your writing and your insights are. And your titles! I always come away feeling smarter than when I arrived and impressed not only with what you have taught me but with those things your commenters add about you and the topic.
Thank you Meg! I enjoy rambling on HubPages and I'm glad you enjoy reading these pieces. :)
TEN HUT!! Laugh! The very last sentence gave me a fit of the giggles :-) I have to respectfully disagree that rarely two people will share an opinion about a third. Why, in my case everybody who knows me thinks I'm a b*tch! Laugh!
Shucks Elena, then there's no hope that you'll pay me a wonderful compliment some day? :P
Thanks for reading...and glad you got the giggles! :)
Another awesome journey into the insights of one Feline Prophet. I'm with Elena about the last line pushing the laugh button. It was so unexpected, and yet so poignantly encapsulating of your "thesis".
What I actually said to my new HP friend was: I think FP is gracious and brilliant, so it would not surprise me that she had excellent leadership qualities as well. So you, see, before I read your last line, I was already seeing your beauty, grace, and intellect. Now try to get out of that one! :) Love your writing, FP.
when colonels comment about field marshals there is not much corporals can say.
will i follow her ???? well if it is out of battle certainlyyy-
ST, thank you yet again! And I have no wish to try and get out of any compliments I receive...LOL.
Neelesh, thanks for the vote of no confidence! :P
lol - I very much agree with you. I have at least 100 personalities in my head. Some of them are old and don't show themselves much anymore, but they are still there. Some of them pummel the others into submission. Many of them are mice; and however many mouse traps I set up I can't seem to get rid of them all :)
Another great read. Thanks!
I like that comment about the mouse traps - maybe I should try laying some too! :P
Thanks for reading shibashake!
Discretion is the better part of valor, eh, herr Field Marshall?
You, my friend, are a most excellent writer!
You are so right Christoph - when in doubt, run out! :P
Thanks for reading!
I like this hub!! Very good!!
Thanks scottaye73. :)
When I was going through Massage School we had to take the Meyers/Briggs personality tests.. almost without exception the results for the class were in the intuitive/feely categories. I was "field Marshall" a term they called me for a long time (funny since I was 2nd oldest in the class). All I asked for was a salute once in a while..nothing much!
Well what do you know...seems like I'm in good company Candie! :P
We shall dine in the officer's quarters, albeit alone, perhaps, but the company's great!
And we shall eat lazagna! (did I spell that right?). thanks for your support yesterday..tough day..
Ooops, did I miss the lasagna? Sorry for the tardy response but my net connection has been acting up. Hope you're feeling better now Candie! :)
C. C. Riter says:
8 months ago
Well this is a great hub my dear Field Marsall Rat. LOL love it