How To Find True Love

“Who Are You?” is the first question asked in week 4 of my Self-Mastery course.

Have you ever thought, really thought, about this question?

Often, we come up with our age, what we do for work, what we excel in, who we know… you get the idea.

But, is this really who you are at your core? Is this really the essence of you?

NO! In the much of our world, we are moving so fast that we don’t want to take the time to look inward. One reason, as far as I can tell, is that if we do take a serious look inside, we might discover that we don’t really know who we are.

Here’s an excerpt from the class workbook:

“Who are you? How we [you] answer the question affects the entire way our [your] life unfolds. Who and what we [you] think we [you] are shapes our [your] life experiences and our [your] responses to life’s everyday events.”

How this relates to finding your soul mate is that who you think you are shapes your responses to people, as well as just events. Have you ever discarded or disregarded a person because they didn’t fit your ‘perfect mate’ criteria list? Maybe they were 5 foot 8 inches and you are an inch taller than that. What woman wants a guy who is an inch shorter than she is! Or… maybe…

Once I talked to a woman who was considering ending a relationship because this wonderful guy didn’t make income that she had set as an acceptable benchmark. My coaching direction to her was to go inside and discover what is important to her – money, material items, a new car or the warmth of the arms of a wonderful life partner.

I personally don’t care what she decides. I do however care that she makes a conscious choice, a conscious decision rather than be driven by what she thinks she should do. And that is key when you are in the process of learning how to find your soul mate.

I invite you to discover what I call your irresistible definition of true love - what true love means to you? Not the committee’s idea.

Committee’s don’t work in love.

If you don’t discover your irresistible definition of true love, you’ll pick you next love interest by committee – the committee of your past, your parents, your peers, and your culture. And, having tried this approach on numerous occasions, I can tell you that what you get is heartbreak and heartache.

The class workbook goes on to say:

“If we are basing who we think we are on our past experiences, the opinions of others, events, and/or our own judgments, then we are likely to be getting an opinion of self that is in error. This is our ego self. Our responses to life than fall short of the magnificence of our True Self, because we see the Truth dimly.”

“Where does intrinsic security come from? It doesn’t come from what other people think of us or how they treat us. It doesn’t come from the scripts they’ve handed us. It doesn’t come from our circumstances or our position.

It comes from within.”

When you take the time to learn about yourself, you are giving yourself the gift of awareness – awareness of yourself and how the real you relates to the world. And, this type of self-gifting is magical because once you learn about yourself, you will always know. And, when you know, you become more sure, more confident, and more conscious. All those contribute to your self-esteem and your personal authority.

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This is an older book, but the words are right on.

How we feel about ourselves crucially affects virtually every aspect of our experience, from the way we function at work, in love, in sex, to the way we operate as parents, to how high in life we are likely to rise. Our responses to events are shaped by who and what we think we are.