Napoleon Bonaparte, the 18th and 19th century French commander and self-crowned Ruler of France, died while in exile on the island of St. Helena in May 1821. After his death, it is said that Abbe Vignali, the priest who gave last rites, cut off and smuggled Bonaparte's manhood back to Corsica (Napoleon's birthplace). The French deny it ever happened.

Why would anyone want a penis, I mean, someone else's penis? In the days of Barry Bond's and Mark Ecko or the guy who dug Tiger Woods' apple core out of the garbage, I guess it is understandable some nut-job would want to save the Ruler of France's wanker. But was the world as crazy back then as it is now? Or was there a different motive to stealing Napoleon's manhood?

In ancient times, as described by Wiki, the removal of the penis was often a jesture of superiority. By removing a man's conjugal apparatus, the man was subsequently no longer a man.

In war, the victorious soldiers would commonly cut off the opposing soldiers' manhoods in order to keep a "kill count" and served as macabre trophies.

Eunuchs were men who were castrated, implanted with a tube for urinating, and deemed the underclassmen and slaves. The resulting decrease in testosterone led a eunuch's voice to be much higher than normal. They were commonly found singing in performances and operas.

Was Vignali's booty a trophy? "Castrate the arrogant a-hole?"

Once described by a New York newspaper as resembling a "... maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace or shriveled eel", Napoleon's penis was sold at a Paris auction in 1977 for an absurd $3,000. The proud winner? Dr. John Lattimer, a professor emeritus and 25 year chairman of urology at Columbia University in New Jersey. Dr. Lattimer kept his new trophy in a breifcase underneath his bed in his New Jersey home. Also belonging to Lattimer was Abraham Lincoln's blood-stained collar, Hermann Goring's cyanide caspulet and some of Adolf Hitler's drawings. When asked why he desired the items in his collection, Lattimer explained his love of history. (???)

Let's count how many people have handled this guy.

1. Abbe Vignali (the priest)

2. British Collector (1916)

3. Rosenbach

4. Museum of French Art (1927)

5. Donald Hyde

6. John Fleming

7. Bruce Gimelson

8. Christie (auction) Did not meet Reserve Bid.

9. Dr. John Lattimer (1977)

..Nice.

One-and-a-half inches. (Congratulations)

Don't look under your pillow. You know when your arm falls asleep in the middle of the night and you feel your thumb, but it's asleep? About one-and-a-half inches isn't it.

When Dr. John Lattimer died in 1997 at age 92, his daughters took charge of his estate matters. I say the daughters go around putting the Napoleon treasure under unsuspecting suburbanite's pillows, just for fun.

No word on whether or not Lattimer was buried with his own manhood in tact.