Finding Help for Mental Illness
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Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder
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Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder by John D. Preston
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Dealing with mania and depression
How we dealt with mania
We had heard several reports of bizarre behaivor and I went to check it out. Not sure what I was getting into I asked a friend who referred me to his mother that works in social services. She was educated and aware of what to do. I'd recommend calling local social services and see if they can help diagnose the situation. When I talked with the social worker she asked several questions:
- Is he talking really fast?
- Does he think he has super human strength?
- Does he feel like his thoughts are racing?
- Does he think he is smarter than everyone else?
After answering yes to all of them, she suggested that I get him to a hospital and gave me advice about how to get him help. First, she suggested that I say to him, "I'm happy for you since you're feeling so great, would you mind if went to the doctor to get you checked out since people are worried about you?"
She said if he is not willing to go to the doctor on his own than to call the police. You have to be very clear with the police and tell them that you believe that he is a danger to himself, and give them reasons. Our reason was he told me he was going to learn to fly - not in an airplane, but like a bird.
The police were called and he was put on a 5151 hold and taken to a mental care facility. Since he had good insurance, he was then moved to a nice facility. There he was evaluated and prescribed drugs.
The difficult thing about watching the evaluation in our case was that he knew the questions they were going to ask and lied so that they would not think he was bipolar or schizophrenic. This was very frustrating since it is difficult to diagnose mental illness and when patients lie it makes it harder. I should say he lied well enough to a triage nurse that she asked why he was here. However, after I explained what happened and he told part of the truth, it became clear to the nurse.
After he was admitted we learned more. Like most people resist treatment and stop taking their medications. Some will start to seek out help after they have been in the the psychiatric ward multiple times. After the three days were up, there was a hearing where the doctor and a judge came to the hospital. The patient has to prove that he is not a danger to himself and that he can take care of himself. Since he didn't have a place to stay, I convinced him to stay longer. It's very difficult to force someone you care for to stay. After the hold was updated to a 5250 he was held around 9 days (don't remember exactly) and then there was another hearing. This time he was released. True to what we learned, he quickly stopped taking the medication and going to his appointments and then came severe depression.
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Dealing with severe depression
When his depression became so bad I called the suicide hot-line and asked what I should do. 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-suicide. This was very frustrating. The lady was compassionate, but could not offer advice on what to do. What I needed was actions to take.
A friend referred us to Cottonwood de Tucson in Arizona, it turns out that they didn't take Blue Shields CA insurance, but I asked for a list of places that they would recommend that would take our insurance. They provided a list and in a few days he was in treatment in Pasadena, California.
Tips
- Contact a social worker and get advice.
- Contact a Hospital and get recommendations on treatment centers.
- Ask friends for help.
- Don't be afraid to call the police. Do it immediately in a suicide situation.
- Be prepared for them to resist treatment.
- Join a support group like NAMI.
One of the most difficult things for me was wanting him to behave like a rational person. For example, if you are sick, take your medication and go to your appointments. This is one of the hardest things when dealing with a mental illness since they don't respond how a rational person would.
After taking him to multiple hospitals we have seen a huge variation in the recommended treatments. We now know that mental illness is difficult to diagnose and the opinion of the best treatment can vary wildly. The best treatment is one that the patient will do.
UPDATE: He has returned home on a mood stabilizer and Zoloft. He appears to not be suicidal which is very good, but a long road ahead to learning to live with the illness.
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"An Unquiet Mind" by Kay Jamison is a good book on Bipolar Disorder. The author is a Psychologist at Johns Hopkins who stuggles w/ this disease herself. It was a brave book to write...a real coming out to her colleagues. She has written several other very good books on Bipolar Disorder.
A very interesting story. Glad you got your brother sorted out. We have a state health system here in New Zealand, and your brother would have been taken to a hospital for assessment. You said you had good insurance; what would have happened if you had little or no insurance? Mental health is extremely difficult to deal with. There has to be danger to the patient, or to somebody else! Most of our former mental hospitals are now closed down; you have to rely on hospital mental health units now, which have limited space. Much the same round the western world now, I guess!
Bipolar disorder, like anorexia and bulimia, is a common butt of countless jokes, but few people really understand what is involved for those who suffer. Thanks for sharing.
Sorry to hear about your brother. Iv'e had similar experiences personally. Like you said, sometimes it's hard to diagnse. Doctors couldn't readily diagnose me after I had my first nervous breakdown which spiralled into depression, suicidal tendencies, mania, etc. They had me classified as bipolar, manic depressive with a borderline personality and suicidal tendencies, and perscribed me every drug, antidepressant, mood stabilizer out there which just made life worse. I finally cut out the medication as I got dependant on it until I looked some of it up and realized half where placebos ( and expensive one's at that!).
Plus it was a waste talking to the psychiatrist about the same things over and over. Don't get me wrong, actually having someone to confide in was a great help, but when it's the same old, theres time to change. The only thing that eventually worked for me, and we don't know why was exercise ( like weight training).It does something to the chemical in the brain and stabilizes everything. Occasionally there is a relapse, but I tell you it's better than any medication. I hope your bro is doing better since you posted this. My advice to you as a sibling though, is if he says the meds don't work at any stage listen to him, and question the doctors if they are quick to prescribe anythig else. Some medications like Seroquil and Paxil increase manic moods, depression and suicide risk. Hope it is going better :)
Thank you for writing about his very important subject. As a mental health worker I am in contact with symptoms such as this. There is hope.
Glenna Edmondson says:
3 years ago
As a mother I felt responsible for finding help for our son, who was given a dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and drug dependence (marijuana). I was frustrated at every turn by the difficulty of getting professional help, as well as the cooperation of our son. We found a support group through a local mental health association, and in doing so, got our best advice and counsel. Our son in doing better, but it is an incredibly difficult family dynamic.