On your first date with a hot chick or hot stud - here are some dos and don'ts you might want to take heed to before you go out.

First I'll start with the guys:

First off look good. If you are naturally an ugly guy (like me), then groom yourself to look handsome. One thing my brother would always say is that, "I may be no Denzel Washington (or Brad Pitt), but I'm somewhere on the family tree." I would always say, I may be ugly, but I can make myself handsome.  So trim your beard, get a nice hair cut - you can't afford that (you really don't need to be going on a date), then at least make what you have look presentable.

Next, you JUST got to smell good. Typically, and in every culture men blow this to two extremes. They take a bottle of cologne and pour it on their head like Magic Johnson use to pour champagne after winning an NBA title. You have to be easy with all that stuff.

There is a guy I see often who loads up on it, and when you I see him and greet him, you know shake hands, for the rest of the date I smell that crap. Don't over do it. Don't spray yourself down with Axe deodorant. It won't get you any extra girls than you had before (that's all marketing). However what you must do is shower up with good soap, clean behind the ears, under arms (hard scrubs if you have an uneasy scent), and shampoo the hair.

What? Are you too hardcore for all this cleaning up? Fine, simply clean up, but who knows you may get lucky and when the cloths go off, she goes off into the night too, because you stunk ya hardcore goof. Wash up!

You've groomed yourself, got cleaned up - next up get into some comfortable nice looking casual cloths. Don't over do this either. You don't want to show up in a 3 piece suit and she's wearing in a blouse and jeans. On the same shoe, you don't want to show up in a Cowboys Jersey and shorts, and she's wearing a dazzling dress; that would be uncomfortable. A good casual blazer you probably can never go wrong.

This does depend on where you are meeting or going on the date. But keep it simple fellas, seriously.

Now you're on your way to meet her. Greet her with a side-by-side hug. This a hug where you simply put your arm on her back and your shoulders touch, right shoulder to her left shoulder.  Now if you're catching up with an old friend or ex girlfriend, then a regular full hug may be more appropriate.  If you're not the touchy huggy guy, avoid this. And please do not measure it up or shoulder bump her too hard. You are certain to have a rough date the rest of the way.

So you can do the shoulder touch or you do what I call the "Jay Leno." That's where you come together and hold hands (facing each other), look her in the eyes with a slight smile, and then lean in and kiss her on the cheek. Leno does this every show when he welcomes a female guest on the show. When beautiful women come on I can see Jay licking his lips.

Now if that greeting stuff is not your style, just play off of how she greets you, if she comes in for a full hug, give her a full hug and tease her about it. If she doesn't get up to give you a greeting (because you are late), tease her about it. Don't get all into what she didn't or did do.

Now the meat of the date is rather simple, bring up topics that you want, ask questions, even questions you think are too "cookie-cutter." We have to remember you are dating to learn about each other so ask away. One of my favorite questions is how often do you wear underwear before you throw them out?  Also you can ask her who her favorite actress is or if she could be any female celebrity, who would she be.  These are fun, interesting, and you'll learn a lot about her.

It's off the wall, it's funny, and it gives me an idea of their hygiene. When dinner is over; don't freeze up like most guys and pay for dinner. Only do it if you want to. You have to remember she's a big girl and can handle these things. Her having dinner with you is just as important as you having dinner with her.  If she gives you the vibe that you should pay, ask her to comp you because your credit card is maxed.  Then when she pays, all of the sudden find a few bucks and pay your share.

Now if you opened your big mouth and said, "CAN I take you out." Then you probably have to pay. If you said, "I'm going to the Bistro, want to join me.?" And she says yes, then that is a meeting/date. You're not obligated to pay for her dinner.

When you're leaving, if you drove separately, then walk her to her car and tell her you're sorry her evening is going down hill now as you depart; or something funny and a bit arrogant or cocky.  And see where she goes with it, if she invites you to her place or request for the evening not to end, etc. 

You just got part one first date tips.

Now for the women:

I'm a guy so this of course will be a guys perspective list.

First thing women, be yourself. Don't get all preppy and made up. You don't want it to be too much of a dramatic difference when he sees you. If you didn't have rosy cheeks when you met - then leave the rosy cheeks at home.

Women need to smell good too. And don't overdo it either. There is nothing like smelling bath and beauty works products all night long, even while eating my grilled steak.

Now I'm pretty sure woman will clean up well (at least the sane ones), so I won't go into detail here.

Next first date tip - DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING! Too often women have a small list in their mind of what they want - He better bring flowers, he better dress good, he better pay for dinner, he better open doors, if I get cold he better give me his coat. If you have all those expectations, then what he really better do is get loss, because it will only be a bad date.

If you go in without all these false expectations that your parents feed you(really your mom - feeds you that stuff knowing those aren't what got her attracted to your dad - but rather those are the things your dad did once he got to know and love your mom) you'll be free of sizing your date up and open to knowing who he is.

Get rid of that and go in and just meet the guy, enjoy what he has to offer by his conversation. Is he a joy to be around?

Does he give you a good feeling? So lose your corny expectations.

Now it's up to you on how you want to greet him. Just don't tongue him down and don't shake his hand like it's a 10 year $3.6 million dollar contract signing. Be casual; half hug is nice, or the 'Jay Leno.'

Don't ask about his job, how much he makes his dreams, goals, what type of woman he likes. Those are nonsense questions (they drive every man nuts).

Asking about his job and money he makes are directly related to gold digging and/or sizing him up. No man likes to be sized up. He's with you so you don't have to ask what type of woman he likes. As a woman you want to know if you can be around him as a friend - so you can learn so much more by asking what movies he likes, favorite actor, sport.

His favorite actor will tell you who he tries to be like. Okay let's wrap this up, my hands are starting to hurt. Don't be too flirty; because this will make him assume you want some body-to-body action and that does not always end well.

Play the tennis match. In other words, don't let him be the only one carrying to conversation. Lastly, when the bill comes don't sit there and wait for him to pick up your tab (remember the expectations thingy). Pick up the bill and immediately presume to pay your part.

Now what that may do is impress him so much that he'll insist on paying for the meal all together.

I just assume for both genders; no belching, farting (silent or loud), strong sexual innuendos, cursing, spending all your time on your cell phone, spitting out food, regurgitating chewed up food and setting it on the plate, being rude to the waiter or waitress, and illicit behavior are a given.

Chris Bondae

Mr. Bondae has been a dating coach for several years helping men and women make a special connection.  If you want to learn more about how to get a date and get a second date easily contact Chris Bondae by contacting the mightyone!