A question often asked me, in my capacity as a leading educator, bon-vivant,man-about-town, and general 'dog's body' is:  'say Man, what are the 5 Big Personality Traits that educators should be aware of?'

Well I can tell you that if I had one-hundred dollars for every time someone asked me that question I'd be a rich man.

So now, at no charge to you, my dear, dear friends and enemies, I will provide you with an answer. 

In a nutshell the Five Big Personality Traits are:

1. A feeling that you are never alone but being spied upon by some malign persons who hide themselves rather well by dressing up as oak trees and Italian fruit vendors.

2. A feeling that your socks don't match, even when they probably do. It's a feeling we all have and you should too.

3. An ability to run for your life when being chased by a senior citizen with a machete.

4. A sense of porpoise. Porpoises are highly intelligent and can speak many coded languages. If you are a together person you should have a good sense of porpoise too.

5. Never-ending anxiety about the way the weather is always changing. Why can't it be the same every day? Why do clouds look like things--like your Mother in a cowboy hat, or a giraffe singing on American Idol...

These are the basic Five Personality Traits that all educators really need to be on top of if they are going to spot the 'ner-do-wells' and 'baddun's' in their classrooms.

Watch for my next article on: '5 Important Things to Put in Your Pocket Before Leaving the House in This Dangerous Age We Live In.'