Helpful Advice for Successful Relationships

How well do you get along with people: Have you ever asked yourself this question? Are your relationships successful and prosperous, or do you struggle when you are with people? There are hundreds, if not thousands of self-help books on the subject of getting along with people. Have you read one, or even thought about reading one, or are you a natural born social butterfly when it comes to relationships? Either way, one can never have too many tools when it comes to relationships.

Hopefully these five steps can get you on the road to successful, pleasant and joyous experiences with your colleagues, family and friends. As simple as they may seem; daily reminders that we are not alone on this Earth will make us happier for the wear. A step a day will keep the grouch away.

STEP 1 – Take time to acknowledge the fact that we are not alike, we are all different. We all have different dreams, visions, goals, priorities and temperaments. We live in multiple worlds. There is the work world, the family world, the social world and all the sub worlds within each group. Make sure you keep each separate as each group expects something different of you. The old saying “take me as I am, or don’t take me at all” no longer works. Be the person everyone wants to be around.

STEP 2 – Don’t be too sensitive, take things too personally. Don’t sweat the little things. If you are easily annoyed by every little thing, then you will be known as the one with the explosive personality. Trite things do not matter. If you lose it over something small, you will have no creditability with others when you need to rally the troops for something really worth getting your dander up about.

Also, know how to tell the difference between a joke and a mean spirited remark. If what was said is sincerely hurtful have a water cooler moment with the one who joked at your expense. Never confront people in public. Above all, never speak unless you know what you want to say and stick to the script, but be sincere.

STEP 3 – When you mess up, fess-up. It is very important to maintain healthy relationships and to admit when you are wrong. If you are wrong, do not continue on as though nothing has happened. You were wrong, dead wrong, it is better to admit it than it is to transfer the blame onto someone else. It is important for you to leave the other person’s dignity and self-esteem intact, buy doing so you leave your dignity and self-esteem intact, a win-win situation. Sure, what you were working on is a disaster, but your relationship will remain solid.

STEP 4 – If you are an annoying, arrogant jerk, you are destined to a life alone. Relationships…NOT! Keep in mind that not every day is a good day for everyone. If you have good relationships with those around you, then you should be able to tell if someone is having a bad day; be it colleagues at work, family or friends. You should at least be able to tell by their body language their mood or feelings. The tell tale sign that you are not an annoying, arrogant jerk will be your ability to “feel the other persons pain.” Sure, there will be times that you can’t tell how someone is feeling, but more likely than not you will be able to tell.

STEP 5 – Treat people as you would treat yourself, as your own best friend. This is the easiest of all, for the most part we know what we like and how we would like to be treated. Take time each day to greet everyone you come in contact with, with a smile, a handshake or a twinkle in your eye. If you carry candy, gum or mints - share them. Share yourself with the world and the world will be yours.

Once in awhile take a moment or two and reflect on those who have made you feel good, learn from them and emulate their goodwill with those around you. You can make a difference. The difference you make will make you a happier in the long run. Keep it real and in perspective.

Thomas R. Vozzella © 2009