Throughout my dating career I have encountered several women who I knew I just couldn't trust. One women went as far as to say she was royalty--a princess of Maine! But it wasn't always so obvious. Other women would give subtle hints that allowed me to know not to trust them. Other women, were just complete wackos.

So who are they? Well, let me tell you.

5. When I was attending a community college not far from home, I was fascinated with this girl. She claimed to have never dated before. I took her on a classic movie and dinner date. While we were eating, she waved over to an older woman holding a young child. I asked, "How do you know them?" or something of that general value. She blushed and answered, "That's my mother and child."

4. This one comes from the friends vault. He was feeling a little down on his luck, so he tried out Internet dating. Yes, this one was awful. He went to pick her up from her apartment. When she answered the door he almost passed out. She was 100lbs heavier and 20 years older than her picture. He found out a couple weeks later the picture was actually her daughters.

3. This one I met online. Yes, I know what you are thinking, but no she wasn't a psycho. She was kind, gentle and she claimed to be a dental assistant. We ended up meeting at a restaurant called "Red Dragon". It probably wasn't the best place to eat, but it is the best Chinese food around. As the night went on it was evident she shouldn't be trusted. How? After dinner she insisted on paying for herself. She said she was very well paid. I just couldn't talk her out of it. She ended up paying in ones. I then knew why so many men were staring at her. Did I mind though? Hell no. But I didn't trust her.

2. A few years back one of my friends hooked me up with this girl. She seemed alright, but I guess everyone does when you are desperate. We end up deciding to have our first date at a carnival. Yes, a carnival. Now it wouldn't have been too bad, but it started off a bit rocky. When I got to her apartment she seemed a little off. Her eyes were bloodshot, but I wrote it off as allergies--she didn't seem like the type of girl to smoke pot. Anyway, once we got to the carnival she starts vomiting, and it wasn't due to the faris wheel. Where did she vomit? All over a little boy waiting in line.

1. This women was the kindest, most beautiful woman I ever dated. I met her at a Three Days Grace concert a while back, but finally decided to go ahead and ask her on a date. It began smoothly, but something was bugging me, she was wearing a turtleneck (it's Texas... in July!). I knew right then not to trust her completely. She said she was single, but something still wasn't right. If you are thinking she was covering hickeys you are wrong. It turns out it was an Adam's Apple. Yep, she was a man.

Tips to avoid psychos

1. Don't date online.

2. Don't trust your friends.

3. Don't go on blind dates.

I think that just about touches everything.