Being pregnant with twins, triplets or more is an exciting and scary time. From the very beginning of your pregnancy, you'll be told repeatedly by your doctor that your babies will be born prematurely. This is especially true for high order multiples pregnancies (triplets or more) where babies are typically born before thirty-five weeks of gestation. In fact, babies born before thirty-five weeks are given their own special name of micro-preemies. When you give birth to micro-preemies, the birthing experience and weeks following the delivery are radically different than a full term birth, and it's essential for parents to prepare in advance for the rollercoaster ride following the birth of micro-preemies.

First, the actual birth will be different in that a team of about ten doctors and nurses will be present. As each baby is born, it will be whisked away for evaluation. You'll have an opportunity of just a few seconds to see your babies as a nurse holds them up for you before they are rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for further evaluation. At this point, it's important for the father or birthing partner to follow the babies to oversee the procedures and get an initial review of the babies' health situations. It's highly likely that the babies will be placed in incubators and hooked up to various machines to monitor their status and potentially keep them alive. Use the following tips to help you survive the ups and downs of the NICU.

Tip #1 - Do Your Research

The most important thing parents of high order multiples and micro-preemies can do prior to the birth of their babies is to conduct as much research as they possibly can to understand the different health risks and problems infants born at different lengths of gestation will likely face when they enter the world. Read books, search online or join a support group to get all the information you possibly can, so you're well educated on medical terms and issues prior to your babies' births. Your time at the NICU with your babies will be extremely confusing, and having information up front to help you understand what's going on and what doctors and nurses are telling you is invaluable.

Tip #2 - Ask Questions

Often parents are afraid to ask nurses and doctors too many questions. There is no more appropriate time to make a nuisance of yourself than when your babies are in the NICU. While you're visiting your babies, ask the covering nurse and other nurses about your babies' health situations. Ask to speak with a doctor to discuss all elements of your babies' cases. Each baby will have a binder or book next to their crib that details the nurse's care procedures and the baby's health statistics each day. Don't be afraid to pick it up and read it cover to cover. It's your baby, and you have every right to read your babies' files. My husband and I learned more from that binder than we ever did from a doctor or nurse verbally during our babies 3 1/2, 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 week stays in the NICU after their births.

Tip #3 - With Each Step Forward, Expect a Step Backward

It is very common for micro-preemies to make leaps forward one day during their stay in the NICU only to fall even further behind the next day. Again, this is very common, so don't be overly upset or surprised by it. For example, just when you think your baby can be taken off the apnea monitor, he or she will stop breathing and will need to go back on the monitor again. There are many situations like this that cause delays and lengthen your babies' time in the NICU. Be prepared for set backs.

Tip #4 - Don't Feel Guilty

It's nearly impossible not to feel guilty in every way while your babies are in the NICU. You'll think, "what could I have done to delay the birth," or "I should be at the NICU, but I have to take care of my other children at home, too." The reasons to feel guilty are endless, but don't let them overwhelm you. Remind yourself of all the good things you've done for your babies, and they are now in the best place that they can be and receiving the best care possible (in fact, better care than you could give them based on their medical needs). You can't change what's already happened, and you can't be everywhere at the same time. Focus on trying to do the best you can each day.

Tip #5 - Recover, Rest and Sleep While You Can

After delivering high order multiples, mothers have a long recovery in front of them. Unless you've been pregnant with triplets or more, it's hard to understand how difficult the recovery is. While your babies are in the NICU, spend some time to focus on getting healthy yourself. Your babies will need you to be as healthy as possible when they come home. Rest and sleep now, because once your babies come home, you won't be able to rest again for a long, long time.