It's not easy getting divorce or moving on when your relationship ends. No matter how it happened, you are now single and you have children with your ex. Things will change once your other parent meets someone new. The other parent's new spouse may bring children into the union or may one day have children with the new spouse. You may feel a lot of resentment,anger, and other mixed feelings about having to deal with this new blended family idea. Although accepting this new arrangement will be hard, it can and has to be done. You are a part of the new family arrangement and your input is important and needed. There is a way to cope and be successful in this new arrangement. As a parent, you have to learn how to be fair and understanding. Here are some other tips to help you in dealing with the new family arrangement.

* Put the needs of kids above your own.

Sometimes we carry baggage from our previous relationships. Remember not to let your personal feelings about your ex and what happen between the two of you cloud your judgment in doing what is best for your children. Don't ever bad mouth the other parent or the new spouse in front or around the children. If the spouse has children or has children with the your ex, and you bad mouth their parent to your children, your kids are bound to repeat it. If you do that you are creating an unhealthy environment for all the children including your own. Don't create upset among the children or the new family unit. Whatever your feelings are about the ex or the new spouse do not discuss it with or around any of the children. The best way to for the children to grow up happy and mentally healthy is for all the parents to work together. You and your ex will always be the parents to your children. The other parent, the new spouse, and your needs will always be secondary to all the kids involved.

*You are no longer in a relationship with your ex.

If the children live with you, you cannot expect the other parent to be in all of the decision making in your home . Now that you are a single parent some of the decisions you and your ex use to make together, you will have to make on your own. This doesn't mean you exclude the other parent when you make decisions about the kids. Just let the other parent know what's going on. If your child does something wrong, you don't have to call ex every time to ask him or her what type of punishment you should impose. Use your own judgment. Don't call your ex with all your personal problems. He or she can no longer be emotionally available to support you in that capacity. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex, be cooperative, flexible, create some boundaries, and get a life of your own.

*Be flexible and cooperative.

This can be hard sometimes because maybe your ex has come up with a lot of rules that you don't agree with. It is okay to agree to disagree. Don't get into a yelling match or try to assert who is in control. What happens is you both lose control and the children get caught in the crossfire. Being flexible and cooperative will be your best asset. There will be situations when the other parent's plans may need to change. Make sure you both communicate these changes. Let the other parent know of the change as soon as possible. That way he or she can make the necessary allowances . Keep in mind there will come a time when you may need the other parent to be flexible for you.

*Try to get along with the ex and the new spouse

No matter what the ex did he or she is still one of the parents to your children. So its important for you to get along and behave appropriately. You don't have to like your ex or like the new spouse, but it is important that you respect the them. If you can't seem to communicate with the new spouse on a friendly basis, keep your interaction strictly between you and the other parent. If you have to talk to the new spouse, keep your conversations civil and to a minimum. If you have a problem with the new spouse in regards to your children, talk to the other parent. Never discuss it with the new spouse. This keeps arguments from erupting between you and the new spouse. Let the other parent can relay the information back to the their spouse. It is best for all the parents to sit down and talk out problems. A good rule of thumb is to create boundaries so there are no misunderstandings or arguments.

Having boundaries, being civil, and cooperative will make the relationship with you and the other parent very healthy. Sometimes it isn't easy to see your ex move on with someone else. But when there are children involved, you have to do what is best for them. No one said this wouldn't be difficult, but it can be done. If love you children, you want them to be happy and healthy. Create a happy and healthy environment for them. Do it by working together.