“So if you write about someone who dresses as the opposite sex you are writing about a transvestite and you really should use the word at some point.” – Identity Withheld

Well from my experience there are subtle differences in the use of terms, in part due to negative stereotyping, and as such if you are possibly subject to the terms you have preferences. Just as I am sure you are aware that some people use racial terms while they outlaw people in other races using those exact same terms which is itself just more racism sadly.

I used Cross-dresser instead of Transvestite in my HUB; to some people they are interchangeable to others there are definite differences. Some use transvestite in place of transgender as well. Does this not seem rather redundant?

I didn’t use transvestite for three reasons:

1. Negative connotations and hostile usage by hate mongers. Transvestite was used as a blanket term before most of what is known about gender existed, generally its use is vulgar as any racial slur that not only demeans but also lumps together several groups of people.

2. The terms vagueness and interchanged use for both Cross-Dressers and Transgender clouds the very point I was making, Transgender people may or may not be cross-dressing, and cross-dressers may or may not be transgender.

You can eat salad but does that mean you are a vegetarian?

If you are a football fan does that mean you live in the United States?

3. Ironically especially considering the whole pop-corn-o-graphy fiasco where I was intending to stay away from discussing the act of sex itself. Copulation is not the focus with being TG or TS. The problem with using transvestite even if no negative is intended is that it has a more complex association entwining sexual preference and sexual activity, Both of which I was not discussing at all. I am very saddened by this because it means now two things to me, first that you didn’t read it, and second that I failed to make the point I was intending even more.

Cross-dressing is an action like Skiing, hammering, swimming or writing, for a TG person it is a necessary task in the process to become TS (transsexual). Cross-dressing to a TG unlike anyone else occurs no matter what they wear, but most people prefer to think they have at least the illusion of choosing their attire, however as I stated in my HUB it is a matter of personal versus societal perspective.

Consider this: If you’re a man who is happy with being a man and thinks he is a man in a man’s body then you are NOT TG (transgender). If you put on a dress and makeup you are still NOT TG (transgender). If you go out in public and try to pass as a woman, you are still NOT TG (transgender). If you are attacked by insane clowns and taken against your will and are operated on and changed into a physical woman then you are Transgender but only because in your mind you no longer match your body, and you want to return to having a mans body.

However, NOT all TG (transgender) desire to fully become TS (transsexual), some actually knew from the beginning that they “want the best of everything”. For a true TS (transsexual) the idea of stopping halfway is not a choice and even the idea is repugnant enough to bring on thoughts of suicide if trapped in that half state, it simply is not who they are.

The implication was made in an earlier statement that transgender includes both transsexual and cross-dressers are erroneous and insulting, not only to me but to transsexuals for several reasons, this does not mean in any way that any of these groups is better or worse than any other social grouping.

First cross-dressers are NOT by definition transgender, they MAY simply be acting, engaged in intimate play with a spouse, or trying to attract someone, they might also coincidentally be transgender and using this act to facilitate their journey. If you tell a transgender person they are a cross dresser, it can imply that you are demeaning their struggle to simply an act of entertainment or subterfuge. That is deeply harmful and mean to someone who simply wants to live a normal life as the person they are in their mind. It also shows just how ignorant you are.

Second, you are not “trans” anything if you are in your destination and or not between two states of being. Transgender is a state of mental identity (gender) which is not in alignment with the person’s physical state within the context of their society and culture.

And third the reason it can be insulting to a TS (transsexual) to be inappropriately lumped in with cross dressers transvestites and even TG (transgender) is even crueler. A person who has invested their entire life just to get to a state of normalcy you may take for granted, has arrived at their destination in alignment mentally and physically, they have spent years and fortunes fixing a birth defect believing they are at last out of the prison that held them. To have someone imply they are otherwise after all that, well if you can’t comprehend the insult there then I feel sorry for you. You are implying they are not women even though by law they are considered such.

Think of it this way, suppose you study all your life very hard become a skilled surgeon, how would you feel if people referred to you as a student of medicine or a nurse? Or if after years you reached the ability of a master carpenter and were called a wood worker? Or after years of law school passing the bar and becoming a judge you were referred to as a law student? Obviously not everyone is as sensitive to labels that do not apply, usually less so when the speakers intention is not hostile or devaluing. However for minority people struggling for survival and equality these are serious concerns of identity especially when they have to explain such terms over and over again every day. In fact many TG (transgender) people look forward to a day when they can reach being TS (transsexuals) simply so they can not have to explain anymore.

A transvestite may not care what you call them, but I would hope you don’t consider this an excuse to engage in hatefulness. I personally avoid this term, I would not use it on myself and I certainly would not use it on anyone who did not tell me it was ok to use on them. You may as well throw the N word around, bad idea.

Transgender people generally are supportive of cross-dressers and transsexuals, this is in part due to the simple fact they are all minorities like the Gay Lesbian and Bisexual communities. Since they are all under threat and discrimination constantly it is just wise to find safety in numbers. This does not mean that they are all the same. It may make things more confusing to outsiders who are not in any of these groups but if you truly want to understand then you will make some effort to know the difference.