Friends, Are they real anymore?
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The down side of the internet
I have recently began to think about whether there are any real friends left in the world. We all receive forwarded e-mails from so called friends, but do they ever answer you when you send them an actual letter to their e-mail?
My answer to this question is no! There seems to be no personal interaction between "friends" anymore, even when you live in the same town.
I recently got married and I have to tell you that while I was extremely happy on my wedding day, I was also very disappointed. I had invited my "friends" who live here in the same town. Most of them did not reply as to whether they were coming and out of those who did, one showed up. Mind you these are people that I have known for a number of years and I would not consider them mere acquaintances. One of them had been my "friend" since we were about 10 years old and we went through a lot together. The others, I met in various places, but have always helped when they needed me.
This tends to tell me that we are only "friends" on the internet now and in my opinion friends do more than forward e-mails to one another. It also tells me that I have one "true friend".
Perhaps they did not like who I was marrying. If that is the case, then I am sure to be better off without them. Every couple has their ups and downs and ours were well taken care of before we married.
I do not want to make this a personal hub, I just want to give some background as to my thinking on this subject.
I would really like to know if others are having the same types of experiences with their friends. Maybe this hub will get some to thinking and they will give a friend a call just to say hi. Maybe you'll go and visit a friend and tell them how much they mean to you.
The internet is a great source in keeping in touch with those who are far away from you, but what about the ones who live a few blocks or miles away from you?
It is interesting to read the definition in the dictionary of the word "friend". You can see it here. I think that we perceive it much differently than it is intended.
Let me know your thoughts on this.
Please take the time to live life, enjoy having friends and make sure you do not fall victim to only having friends on the internet.
There are two hubs that I think are worth the read on this subject.
The first is by talented_ink titled Friends...Separating the real from the fake
The second one is by Ananta65 titled Friends… A different angle
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How to Win Friends & Influence People
Price: $6.32
List Price: $14.00 |
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How to Win Friends and Influence People
Price: $8.95
List Price: $15.97 |
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Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
Price: $9.37
List Price: $15.95 |
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How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them (Dino Life Guides for Families)
Price: $3.23
List Price: $6.99 |
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Frog and Toad Are Friends Book and Tape (I Can Read Book 2)
Price: $4.70
List Price: $8.99 |
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How to Lose All Your Friends (Picture Puffins)
Price: $2.63
List Price: $5.99 |
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Comments
I don't agree. Yeah I have some friends like that but I have others that if I were stranded in Alaska all I need to do is call them and I know that they would be there as soon as they possibly could to get me. I didn't talk with one friend of mine for about six months when I called him and asked him to pick me up in Cleveland, about a six hour drive from where we live, and sure enough six hours later there he was happy to see me. To me a friend is someone who will do for you what you would be willing to do for them and I am blessed to have many of them.
Glad to hear that I am not alone linusnuahs !
Agro Donkey I used to feel as you do and have been there many times for these friends, but now we are just e-mail buddy's. Thank you for your opinion.
I think that our friends are just people, human, and much going on in our big old world with our hectic lives. I hope that you do not hold a grudge against any of those people who did not come to your wedding.
It would be wise for you to think that maybe it was just not in the stars for all of them to make your wedding. At best they did not tell you they were going to be there and then not show up. None the less, harboring harsh feelings will only eat you up inside and who has time for that? Life is short, look at the bright side of what is going on in your life and let that negative stuff go. You will feel better for it.
I myself have skipped some weddings, funerals, and miscellaneous other big events. My true friends would never question why? They would know that I was there in spirit. Love your friends anyway!
Well my dear I think your true friends will always be just that. It sometimes takes funny things to know who they are. Friends seem to come and go in our lives, which depends on what we are busy doing and whom we keep in touch with. As long as you do what you expect from other's and your heart is free from guilt...don't worry. What goes around comes around....
Personally I have friends that I met in the 6th grade and we still keep in touch...a lot of it is now by computer...as we live far a part. We do e-mail and forward and occasionally speak on the phone. I like e-mails cause you can read them again before you send them...just in case you said something in a way you didn't like...and it is hard to get people at home when they have time to just yak..E-mails and forwards are looked at their leisure and usually you get a reply.
I understand what you are saying...but life is just too short to dwell on it...go about your business, happy, trusting in God, being kind and lovingly to all you meet. I will be your friend, if you like ? and welcome to the Hubs, G-Ma :o) hugs
Thank you C.S. Alexis for your words of wisdom. This hub was my way of letting it go. Writing is good for the soul.
G-Ma, you sound like a truly genuine person and I think we will get to know one another well here at Hubpages. Thank You
:-)
Had some of these 30 yrs. ago. I only had one really true friend and she has now passed. I also have my life partner and family now 6 granddaughters. I have may Internet friends and have gotten to know a few in the area :-) it is a blessing to know that you can be a friends to others even though you loose some on the way. I'm glad your my friend :-)) Take Care
Personally, I take friendship seriously. But it seems that a lot of people, these days, are only your friend until you need something. I have one or two good friends that I would trust with my life. Other than that, I mostly have people that I enjoy talking to (or, more accurately put, people who enjoy talking about themselves).
Thank you for your comment rmr :-)
I guess friendship does not mean what it did years ago, but it is just something that I am having a hard time adapting to.
I agree with Agro Donkey in the fact that real friends will do for you what you would do for them. What I've learned in life is that we are all in need of connections from spiritual to emotional to physical and in our attempts at these connections, we give people tags that they don't deserve or don't want. Yahoo, facebook, myspace, and every other social website has a spot for your "friends", but it takes longer than the time to answer an add request to discover a true friend. Good hub!
Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I enjoy your writing very much, but have not found myself with useful words to leave a comment.
From this experience, I have learned that I will not give people the "tags that they do not deserve or want" anymore. I have also let this hub release the bad feelings that I was harboring and move forward.
Your words of wisdom are very much appreciated. Thank You!
First of all thank you for linking to my hub.
This is an interesting hub as well. In my experience online relationships are considered by most more free of obligation than real life relationships. And I must admit that I too appreciate the convenience-factor. I can reply to an e-mail when I want to and I can postpone answering wihtout any feeling of guilt. Mind you, I don't mind if others have that same attitude towards me.
When a real life friend calls or visits me and tells me his/her problem(s), I feel (willingly) obliged to listen, provide comfort, maybe give some advice. When an online friend sends me an e-mail and tells me his/her problems this is the same. Main difference is, that I can wait until I am in the mood and have the opportunity to answer. As long as friends are internet-friends only, one should be aware of this convenience-factor, I think.
Anata65,
You are very welcome. I just came across your hub after reading your response to talented_ink's hub.
Thank you also for taking the time to comment here.
I agree that the convenience factor is a nice thing. I just think that the internet is beginning to replace in person interaction with one another.
I enjoy your work and will be reading more. ;-)
I hope it is an addition to rather than a substitution for real life. I've added alinkk to this hub in my own :)
I really hope that it is too! Thank you :-)
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linusnuahs says:
2 months ago
Yep, I agree with you wholeheartedly.