Frugal or Cheap?

"I am frugal," a woman told me recently." I am so cheap I use my teabags at least three times!"

I agreed with her that she probably saved a lot of money with her cheapness, but inwardly I wondered the cost. You see, there are ways to save money that are positive, and there are ways of saving that can actually have a negative impact on your family. Being frugal is wise. Being cheap is..well...cheap.

Money is only representative of something else. In most cases our money represents time. We used to explain the cost of things to our children by saying, "Daddy spent three hours at work to buy that." or "Daddy would need to work an hour for that." They came to understand that acquiring things had a cost that was greater than the paper on the cashiers desk, acquiring things meant a loss of time with Dad, and that was very real to them.

As they got older we taught them that while income only represented something, like time worked, spending also represented something. It represented the object you were buying. Is a new cd worth working an hour for?

Being frugal means to understand what money really is, and to choose where you are going to spend it. For me, a loose tea aficionado, the idea of a tea bag at all is unpleasant. Buying a cheap tea and using the bag three times is just pointless. There can be no enjoyment from the dingy, watery substance that one is slurping up at the last, surely! I prefer to keep the heat off during the day and sit by the fire for warmth. This would bother some people but for me it works. I choose to buy my designer clothes at thrift shops. I will not buy rags, nor shabby items, but I dress well at a fraction of the cost.

Yet I will buy custom roasted coffee beans, expensive tea, and gourmet chocolate. I will spend the food budget on organic, whole foods, and specialty items. These things feed, not only my family's bodies, but their souls as well.

We do not spend money on cable t.v. but we buy good, hardback books. We do not go out to eat but we do enjoy an expensive cut of meat now and then.

Being frugal means to be in control of your money, not allowing it to control you. It means choosing when to spend money, and when to save money. It means giving value to the things that your family deems important and prioritizing your spending according to those things. If you find yourself often saying to your family, "We can't afford that." your focus may be on the money rather than on what it represents.

• Frugal is buying a roast on sale. Cheap is choosing the hamburger for 10 cents a pound less.
• Frugal is finding a gift that someone will love at a thrift shop or yard sale. Cheap is grabbing a cheap plastic something at the Dollar Store.
• Frugal is cutting back on your tea consumption so you can drink a finer quality tea. Cheap is using the same bag of Lipton three times.

Frugality brings richness into your life because it frees you to buy the luxuries you find irresistible. Cheapness brings greed, stinginess, and coldness into your spirit because you are always thinking about what you cannot afford. Save money so that you can buy those things which enrich your life and that of your family. And never confuse frugality with cheapness. You will miss out on a lot of the best life has to offer.