Fun Jokes-beta

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By sathya_k_83


Complicated English

 

'Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic

protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement

of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact

size of which was unspecified.

'One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe

damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure;

subsequently, the second member of the team performed

self-rotational translation, orientated in the same direction taken by the

first team member.'

ANY GUESSES WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT???

Scroll down to understand :.......in simple English what does this translate to?

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'Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

And Jill came tumbling after!'

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High Risk (HR)

After 5 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;

Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day.

The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?

Man:- 365 days and some times 366

Manager:- how many hours make up a day?

Man:- 24 hours

Manager:- How long do you work in a day?

Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?

Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)

Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?

Ma! n:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)

Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?

Man:- No sir

Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?

Man:- 18 days.

Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?

Man:- 4 days

Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 2 days sir!

Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- 1 day sir!

Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?

Man:- No sir!

Manager:- So how many days are left?

Man:- None sir!

Manager:- So, what are you claiming?

Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that

I was stealing Company money all these days.

Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!

HR = HIGH RISK

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