I provide a service that nobody wants. Working as a mortician is difficult to say the least, but over the years, I have learned to comfort and work with the bereaved. As the funeral director, I am the rock- the guide. As the embalmer, I am the scientist- the artist. Why is it, then, that my tough mortician exterior comes crumbling down when a sad family walks through my door in search of help after a beloved pet has died?

I think it’s because I can connect with them on a deeper level. Unlike the grieving widow, or sister, or daughter, I haven’t yet experienced those losses (and won’t for a very long time, God willing). But I can certainly sympathize with pet owners in their time of sadness. I have experienced the pain and depression first hand. And if you’ve lost a pet, you certainly don’t need some expert or website to tell you how bad it can hurt. Because let’s face it- pets are people too -and when you lose a member of your family, a little bit of guidance can go a long way. That’s why I’m here. I’ve created this page to help guide you down the path to meaningful pet memorialization.

I think it’s unfair that man’s best friend doesn’t have a human’s lifespan. As with most pets (except maybe turtles), they will most likely die long before their owners do. This is especially sad because pets oftentimes become members of the family. They develop personalities. They express love in their own furry or feathery ways. The relationship between pet and owner grows and evolves into a strong bond of companionship and love. And when a beloved pet dies, we are immediately inundated with grief, depression, and loss of companionship.

Some pets die after succumbing to the rigors of lengthy illnesses (cancer, tumors, diabetes, etc.). Many pets die suddenly in accidents, and that kind of grief is an extreme shock to the system. It may even lead a pet owner down a path of guilt. I know I’ve been down that road.

If only I didn’t call out his name. He wouldn’t have crossed the road to come to me and been hit by that car. or If only I was carrying her in the saddle or in my arms on the trail, that dumb horse wouldn’t have kicked and killed her. Those are the real thoughts that raced through my mind when I lost those two beloved doggies. Those feelings of grief can still haunt me.

Whether or not the death was expected, it’s impossible to ever be truly ready for it. Just as with the death of a human companion, the passing of a pet can cause very real pain. Just know that mourning is a natural, healthy process and a necessary part of wholesome grief relief. And that is the idea behind the need for pet funerals/memorials.

It’s a fancy word for what will happen to your pet’s body. For animals, the typical methods of disposition are cremation and burial.

Cremation - It’s the process of reducing the physical remains to its basic elements (usually called “ashes”). Pet crematories are becoming increasingly popular and you might be able to find one in your area. Check with local veterinarians and animal shelters for information on pet cremation services in your area. This option may be better for people that live in urban areas or those that move a lot.

Burial - It’s the process of interring the physical remains into the earth, mausoleum, or other tomb. Your pet can be buried in a container (specially made casket or coffin) or without. Like crematories, pet cemeteries are becoming more popular. Perhaps you know of a local pet cemetery that serves as a special place for you to go and memorialize your pet whenever you want. For pet owners in rural areas, especially those with acreage, this may be a good option because you wouldn’t have to pay cemetery charges when you bury your pet on your own land. A gravesite serves as a permanent place for you to be able to spiritually reconnect with the bond you had with your pet.

Please keep in mind that disposition is different from a funeral/memorial service. Disposition is just handling the technicalities of what to do with the physical remains. A funeral or memorial service is for the mourning of your lost friend, reflecting on the special bond between the two of you, celebrating the life he/she had, and remembering the fun times you shared with your beloved animal.

The concept of pet funerals is in its infancy but gaining rapid popularity. As evidenced in our funeral service trade magazines, many mortuaries and funeral homes are starting to offer services for the smallest members of your family. This includes smaller pet-only crematory retorts and even chapel areas for pet funeral services.

But you don’t have to use a fancy pet funeral parlor to memorialize your dearly loved companion. If, for instance, you’ve decided on cremation, you can certainly hold a private memorial at a scattering site. Or you can have a family gathering at a favorite dog walking path or hiking trail or dog park. If you’ve decided on burial, it may be appropriate to say a few words or share memories for an informal graveside service.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. You can wear whatever color you wish. The only rules you have to follow are your own. Memorializing your lost pet can be as personal, emotional, public, spiritual, or intimate as you like. You’re the only one that knows what’s best for you.

If you’ve lost a family pet, be sure to include all members of the family in the memorial services. It’s unfair to ignore the grief of your wife/husband and especially unfair to ignore the emotions children have to deal with at a time like this. Their understanding of death my be different than yours, but be sure that children have a safe environment to grieve in their own way. Speak plainly about death and avoid euphemisms. Answer their questions honestly and let them know it’s okay to be sad.

For a great resource on recovering from the loss of a pet, CLICK HERE. With this guide, you’ll find that you aren’t alone, and even if people say ‘it’s just an animal,’ you still hurt and need to find comfort in your time of sorrow. It also goes into more detail than I have about children’s feelings after a pet dies. You’ll learn more about who your pet was to you and how to secure that special bond in your heart forever. The program’s special worksheets and journal ideas will help you sort through some intense feelings and set you on a healthy path of healing. The system also offers guidance with the difficulties of euthanasia and discusses quality of life versus quantity of life questions.

Here are just some of the options available to you when you consider pet memorialization. As the idea gains more and more acceptance and popularity, the goods and services available to you will increase tremendously!

Buddies- Made by the Meadow Hill Company, Buddies are the animal counterpart to their line of Thumbies for humans. Working as a funeral director, I have ordered many of these and my families have been extremely pleased with the special custom charms and jewelry. When a pet dies, and ink print can be taken using a paw, foot, hoof, or nose. Then the people at Meadow Hill create their special customized Buddies charms using your pet’s unique print. It’s a quality keepsake to treasure forever.

Personalized Keepsake Urns - This might be a good option for you if you’ve decided on cremation. There are many pet urns available that can commemorate your special pet. Funeral homes often carry a line of pet urns and they have many catalogs of urns to choose from. Or you can even find something special online.

Keepsake Pendants - Even if you choose or bury or scatter your pet’s cremated remains, you might decide to keep a small portion of the ashes for a keepsake pendant. These special charms are beautiful reminders of your furry/feathery friend.

Pet Caskets - If you decide on earth burial but don’t like the idea of leaving your pet unprotected, there are several places that offer pet caskets. Many of these can be found online. But maybe the idea of building your own casket sounds especially personal. There’s no right or wrong here. Just do what’s best for you.

Memorial Stone or Marker - You can put it in a pet cemetery, in a private memorial garden, or in any other special spot you can think of. Memorial stones may be a wonderful way for you to create an area of remembrance for you and your family.

I hope you’ve found this site to be helpful as you search for guidance during this extremely difficult time. I wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery and healing. Please know that what you’re feeling is very normal and natural, and there is help out there if you need it. Again, if your loss is especially difficult to bear, there are resources out there to help you. For an extra bit of assistance, Robin Jean Brown has developed a system to guide you through the grief. If you think it would be helpful, please don't be afraid to take advantage of her program. I wish you all of the best.