Funny Facebook Status
83Funny Facebook status? You are not serious right?
As of September 2009, Facebook has now three hundred million members all over the world making it one of the leading social networking sites. Imagine that! And one of the things that Facebook users enjoy doing is updating their statuses. There are different postings. Some are downright silly, funny, corny, while others are serious or inspirational. I've noticed a lot of family and friends post their thoughts or whatever activity they are engaged at for the moment. Well, it's a great way to keep in touch and connect with some people I know.
Obviously, I am in the mood for something light and funny for the day. Here are funny facebook status lines collected or gathered which you are free to use and modify as you wish. Enjoy and if you want to add some more..go ahead!
Funny Facebook Status
- used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!
- knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!
- is trying to decide if she has an attitude problem today, or not.
- I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake
- giving "the silent treatment" only matters to those who want to hear what you have to say.
- secretly stalks slimey children's toys
- wonders whether he'll ever see psychedelic cowboy boots
- is eating a hearty meal of spectacular hair implants
- is trying to sell a useless set of feelings
- obsesses over spectacular slam dunks
I'm wondering!
Do people really care if you are stalking slimey children's toys or obsessed with slam dunks? And if you didn't have a life before Facebook, gosh that is truly painful! Ouch!
I Don't Like to Hear Myself Think!
More Funny Facebook Status
- is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can't they invent a self cleaning house?
- says watch out causeI know karate...and 7 other Japanese words!
- thinking its funny how,When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia !!!
- will not be responsible for her actions if she doesn't get some chocolate soon
- is playing loud music to keep from hearing her own thoughts
- is pretending that she doesn't exist
- I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up
- First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
- is thinking about doing something! Now just got to think what that something will be!!!
- you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture
- wonders if there is a cure for "dumbassness" if so, I know a few people who need a dose.
- says I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
- you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville.
- had a brief but terrifying bout of sanity, but everything is back to normal now.
- is riding a pink giraffe wearing her underpants and a top hat
- is on strike! she will not be talking to anyone, until her demands are met. she wants a baby monkey and an army of Scottish squirrels!
- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk
- would like a refund on this life.
- if you cant laugh at yourself, ill be happy to do it for you
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent
standing on her front lawn with her pants down waiting for Google Earth to come by and take her picture..
- is trying to keep her eyes open when she sneezes
- has just had Guinness Book of Records on the phone, they want to measure my ironing pile..
- If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken
- I'm telepathically cleaning my house! So if you're really nice to me, maybe I'll "think" about cleaning yours too!
- is offering her children on buy 1 get 1 free
- wonders if fish ever get thirsty???
- is now on two diets...because she was still hungry after just one
- is going into hibernation...call me when it's safe to come out
- wonders if we ain't meant to have midnight snacks why is there a light in the refrigerator?
- is caffeinating.
If you want to connect with me on Facebook, click here!
Do you get a kick out of reading or commenting on facebook statuses?
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Comments
...is thinking he spends too much time online, wondering what other people are doing.
What's life now without FB! A friend told me Facebook deserves the Nobel for connecting the world, the way it has done it. My own personal list of it's merits is quite long (i may write a hub about it), but understand many are still finding their way to it or in it. I thought it was incredible when my daughter and her FB friends managed to overturn the Philippine Govt's ban on relief goods from abroad by making so much noise internationally. Long story, but, all thanks to FB. I'm glad you wrote this hub. I really enjoyed it, and had some laughs!
Gosh so funny :)
"I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake"
Hilarious.... and i like the self-cleaning house too :) Thanks Ate, great and funny hub...
These are hilarious....thanks for sharing!
Wow. My day was "Eh" until I swung by and read this. I think that the toughest choice I'd have to make is deciding which one of the statuses is the funniest. Loved it, Michelle. Thank you!
Thanks for the chuckles, Michelle! The photo of the woman with the pants down waiting for google earth to take her picture is funny. It would never have occurred to me to come up with that joke. LOL!
Mike is grinning like a Cheshire cat.
While Scott is using his brains, ripplemaker is hibernating!
Ripplemaker is now intrigued by Island Voice's story.
Shamel are you awake now? Hahahaha
I see Triplet Mom's teeth all the way to the back when she laughs!
Dohn is still unsure.
VioletSun is wondering why google earth would do such a thing.
Guys, thank you for dropping by. I just needed something light to write after a very busy week in school. There are quite a lot of funny status lines around and as VioletSun said some are indeed funny. Thanks for being here. Hugs
This was a great compilation of status on facebook. The amazing thing is that they really are not random. This is real day outlooks and sharing. LOL, had great fun reading them. I enjoy facebook and all of the diffrent types of interaction, inspiration and humour. Love the pictures also depicting the humorous lighter side of life...Thanks!
Lol that was funny :D
Really good funny findings.
Fantastic! My favorite is ' first the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering' I needed to laugh right now so thanks, Kimberly
the photo of the women with the pants down is really so Funny..
I really got to smile. Not the first time today but the best so far. LOL
Ripplemaker is grinning and waving wildly to emohealer, livingsta, KMST, lyricsingray, masco, cally! I can see you guys, can you see me?!!!
Hahahahaha! This is a hoot! I am smiling today thanks to you! : ))
He, he, he...spending a lot of time on FB, Michelle?
I love your choices of FB status... Telepathic cleaning of house is my favorite one.
Thanks....
Too funny - thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
Ripplemaker is delighted that she made Cheeky Girl smile today! :)
Guilty of spending too much time on Facebook! Tatjana, if you ever want me to clean your house, I'd be willing to do it telephathically. Hahahahahha
Keep laughing Blogging Erika!
Funny and a nice light diversion. I enjoyed it! Thanks!
I loved 'knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!' My cat as yet is unshaven.
thats funny
'If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken'....ha ha...story of my life! wonderful stuff...had such a laugh! thanks for posting.
Ripplemaker is rushing for an appointment but just had to stop by to say HOWDY to Christoph, Carmen, Mikataz and MyOwnWorld! I can hear your laughter all the way to my room! LOL
Someone that wonders if fish ever get thirsty should wonder if they're still breathing...like duh!!
writing4armysoul: hahaahahahahahahaha
Here's a few more for the collection:
* The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
* Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.
* Sadly, I only have 1 parent... my mum left before I was born.
* I have a friend on Facebook whose status says "Suicidal – Standing on the edge of a cliff"... So I poked him.
* Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
* just watched the World Rock Climbing Championships... it was a gripping contest.
* If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
* Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
* When I'm feeling depressed, I like to cut myself... another piece of cheesecake.
* I despise cliquishness, for reasons only my four closest friends will ever properly understand.
Ripplemaker woke up from today's stupor to read darkside's facebook status collection. She's wide awake and laughing LOL
LAUGHING !
amazing work
HAHA I read some good one from my FB friends today.
It's a sunny Friday in my room! The sun didn't forget to turn on the light today. Hello Chara, seminars and Drew Breezy! :)
very nice post. thank you
Good Stuff!!
I love facebook and reading what people are doing. It's a great way to get little updates. Thanks for the laughter ripplemaker!
That is so funny I will now look a little closer
I update my status a lot...be right back, have to post that I'm leaving a post here...
Great hub! I'm still proud that I'm not connected to facebook... But I don't know if I can take it anymore...
Amber: teehee yes do..some are quite funny. :)
Jawa: You do? Maybe I should follow you...
Fresh Flower: Hahaha Go for it! :)
A nice light Hub for today! Thanks for the smiles everyone
Lol, My mood is just changed after reading this. Add some more please
Really excellent hub. Well done. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it:)
o wow, this is so funny. Nice hub. Now i know where to stop in for a short laugh by myself...:)
These are very funny. You do really come across some interesting stuff on Facebook.
Duchess, Dennis, Steven, Jay and Mitch - laughter is the best medicine. Keep those smiles frozen in place LOL Thanks for dropping by and sharing a funny moment with me! Blessings!
Haha! Awesome! :)
I was choosing between the noose or the pills but you've made me laugh now. Very funny post.
Good posting about face book
Divacratus, knell and Ashton are laughing! And it continues to thrill me that I got drunk with coffee. :)
funny finding indeed
it takes me hours to make my status look attractive for my friends in facebook
nice one...lol
I like facebook I have family and friends on there and also Can meet new people.
lol..if my house is clean that means facebook is broken..that apply to us!!...nice one!!
Another great hub
ahhahhha. cool hub dudette....
heaheah. lol one . i have also put one of them status. Thanks. If some facebook fan want to see the photo of the person that is not in their friend list pls look at this post. http://hubpages.com/hub/see-photo-of-facebook-frie
A little levity always makes the heavier part of the day lighter. Thanks. :)
can't help but LOL ;)
here's mine too, just to share:
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Own-Funny-Facebook-Stat
Glad to see someone from Cebu,
I'm from Iloilo. Take care!
Facebook in the News
- Want Privacy on Facebook? Here Is How To Get SomeEnterprise Security Today20 hours ago
The average Facebook user has 130 friends. But many people interact with a much smaller group when commenting on status updates, photos and links.
Mike the salesman says:
2 months ago
Lol I had fun reading this..Thanks!