Funny Quotes About Life

So what are funny quotes about life? Life itself can be a bundle of fun. Life can also be a pain in the ass. But I think even in times of stress and worry a person should try and do their best to bring themselves up by positive thinking. Funny quotes about life are little snippets of humor from famous and infamous people. Funny quotes about life can come from a motley collection of saints and sinners, fools and sages, and are sometimes gathered together in an uneasy proximity. The range of subjects that are available for funny quotes about life is vast. In fact you can make funny quotes about life really about anything. And the master comedians have done just this comment made it about the darkest of subjects, even death itself has not escaped the funny quotes about life.

"When I hear somebody sigh that ‘life is hard’, I am always tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?’

Funny quotes about life can be used just to cheer yourself up. When you're feeling down in the dumps think of these few funny quotes about life from Milton Berle... "He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front." Or "Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign." Or "Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is."

You can use funny quotes about life during a wedding speech, life them in every so often to lighten up even the dullest rhetoric. How about a few funny quotes about life from Mel Brooks... "Humor is just another defense against the universe." Or "If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets." Or how about "You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited." But to close off "I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bull$hit."

Even this president is capable of making some funny quotes about life... even if they were unintended. The start with "To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States." Or how about "As you know, we're studying safe levels for arsenic in drinking water to base our decision on sound science, the scientists told us we need to test the water glasses of about 3,000 people. Thank you for participating." Shall I go on... "You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on." -- (spoken in March 2001 at a Washington dinner).

Here has to be one of the funniest men that where ever born onto this planet. And if there was ever somebody who would have some really good funny quotes about life then it has to be Bill Cosby. "A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice." And on who wears the trousers in the home "I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it." On the subject of children "As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by ‘survival of the fittest.’" and finish off "I wasn't always black... There was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger."

This guy is a bit old hat but his funny quotes about life still keep flying. To begin with "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it." Or "Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." And there's "One morning, I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I don't know." Ah, short but sweet "You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle." And one more for the road from the movie duck soup "Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon."

Here's a guy who was making funny quotes about life in it until the day he died. Was Bob we will start with "I must say the Senator's victory in Wisconsin was a triumph for democracy. It proves that a millionaire has just as good a chance as anyone else." And, "She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction." On the subject of beautiful music  ”When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano." And how about... "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

Is a man who made a life making funny quotes about life in his own inimitable way. The first one from Woody Allen is "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying." Then there was "I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child." And here's what he did with his Academy Awards "When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for awhile." And for the atheist in the audience "If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever." And finally "It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more."

I still think she's one of the funniest women in life and who better to hear some funny quotes about life from. To begin with "Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles." And here she is again about reincarnation "I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life." And an interesting concept in why diets are bad for you "Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with." And just to bring me and every other man down to size "A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego."

I couldn't leave this article without mentioning the long-suffering mother of George W. Here is one to start off with "I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up." And on the subject of the first lady "And who knows? Somewhere out there in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well!" And finally "One thing I can say about George...he may not be able to keep a job, but he's not boring."

I hope you have enjoyed this little trip through some of more humorous takes on life. And just for my own personal favorite funny quotes about life “Life's a piece of shit when you look at it,
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show, keep 'em laughing as you go,
Just remember that the last laugh is on you...And always look on the bright side of life…”
I hope you enjoyed this hub on funny quotes about life.